Love me or hate me, this is my life

Saturday

the next day was Saturday and I was going to hang out with some of my friends it's going to be like a small house party about 50 people there so not many.

when I woke up I hopped into the shower smiling at the thought of what me and Levi did the night before when I got out of the shower I wanted to get something to eat but I thought I was going to wear a tight top and jeans so I didn't want to look fat in it. I skipped breakfast and went to put my clothes on the party was starting early because it was more of a get together

I put on my dark red tight tank top and put on a belt making sure it's really tight to make my waist look smaller and my boobs and bum bigger I then pulled on my denim super skinny ripped jeans and pulled on my knee high black rock chick 3inch heels boots I then got my makeup mirror and put on my fake lashes and did the Smokey eye effect thingy I put on some lip gloss carefully tied my hair into a messy bun making sure to leave some strands loose and painted my nails a dark blue not navy nail polish I then put black tips on top of the blue nail Polish and waited for it to dry before putting on my short black studded letter jacket I then looked at myself once again and left.

I waited outside to wait for my friend who was driving me there he came 5 minuets later and whistled when he saw me hey sexy he called out of the car

"watch it or I'll get Levi on you" I said giggling "and u look really nice too" I said walking towards the car and when I got in he pulled off and it took us about 15 mins. to get there

when we got out of the car all my friends were there and Levi greeted me with a kiss and when he put his arms around my waist he took off my overly tight belt allowing me to breath a little easier

"you look beautiful and have an amazing figure there is no need to kill yourself to make your hips smaller" he hugged me and said "let's go get something to eat" how the fuck does he know me so well I thought to my self... I love him

when I got there I ate like 4 chips and that's it I decided I was only going to get tipsy so I took a few shots and went to dance after a few mins of dancing I saw Joanne who came to join me we were having so much fun i felt so happy for once in a long time until

"hey L" Selma said giving me a bitch smile

"just go away Selma I'm trying to have fun here and you know damn well that I hate it when people call me L" I was fuming

"yeah so L you are looking really Gothic today"

"what the fuck is your problem Selma I'm not in the mood for your shit so I suggest you back off before I make you regret ever coming to speak to me"

"and tell me bitch how are you gonna do that..."

"would you like me to demonstrate for you?" I said it in a tone warning her to step away from me I wasn't shouting or overreacting like she was I was so pissed off I didn't even have the time for that I was ready to give that bitch a beatdown and I will enjoy it

"go on then...L" as soon as she said that without hesitation I punched the left side of her jaw so hard I knocked some saliva and I'm quiet sure a tooth out of her mouth she was screaming in pain but I didn't stop there I pushed her to the ground and when she was down I bashed her head on the ground twice before she swung a punch at me making my nose bleed I pinned her down to the floor but she got an arm free swinging at my nose again making it throb and bleed more but I ignored the pain and put both hands around her neck making sure to put more pressure in the most sensitive areas and I wasn't going to let go even though I felt arms pulling me back and she was squirming like a fish out of water I didn't loosen my grip until someone literally pulled my fingers off her one by one I was so pissed off it wasn't even funny so I went outside to cool off

what the fuck is wrong with that Selma girl she actually takes the piss who does she think she is? ahhhhhhhh. OMG OK I just have to calm down I thought to myself and started taking deep breaths then someone came and put their hand on my shoulder

"hey, are you OK" the person asked

"you better turn around and walk the other direction before I hurt you too"

"Lyanie you have to calm down" I turned around only to see it was Levi

"don't you think I'm trying to calm down" he wasn't helping me calm down at all

"look I know this isn't easy for..." I cut him off

"look Levi I don't need your stupid motivational speeches or anything and by you telling me to calm down ain't helping" now I was shouting "I know you know it ain't easy for me to calm down obviously it's not I have some next up crazy extreme anger issues and like I said you ain't helping so please" I noticed people staring it me so I lowered my voice a little and I sounded more sad than angry which at that point I was "please, just go away I need to be alone right now" and with that he left without saying another word

after about 10 minuets of me sitting

outside on the steps I texted my friends telling them that I'm leaving and walked home it was quiet chilly but because of the way I was feeling I liked it happiness had started pissing me off more and more lately.