On Our Own (gxg)

Chapter 4 - Recovery?

A/N: I know this is a short chapter, but the next one is going to be longer again! Sorry... I won't let you wait for long.

I crack my eyes open and pain hits me mercilessly. Well, to be precisely it's only one eye. The other one must be swollen. I can't even tell where I am. Trying to sit up I recognize at least one broken rip that makes my lungs stop functioning. I snatch for some oxygen like a fish pulled into the dry sand but the sudden movement tortures my lungs even more and from the pain I almost lose consciousness again. Instead I force myself to breathe flatly and support my weight with my elbows. I scan my surroundings and realize lying close to the door in my room. The room that you only just sweared to never plant a foot in again. It is empty like I left it.

I feel lonely, hurt, empty, worn, used. Dead. I don't want to continue anymore.

I notice my backpack in the corner. Out of my reach. I want to give in and cry but there are no tears left and sobbing would even hurt more.

I have experienced this situation so incredibly many times, I stopped counting. I only counted the days it didn't happen. 17 in the last year.

Why I don't get up and tell anyone? Like "Hey, my father is excessively abusive and violent, help me, sentence him!"? I don't get the chance. Ever. I am locked up in this freaking room until my body is healed and there is no proof that all this ever happened. I am glad not to lose my sanity over being almost beaten to death but never being able to find evidence.

My body should be a complete wreck. I should be disabled. I am not because my father is a medic, the best on Alatis. Yep, a great doctor who regularly extinguishes the physical health of his own daughter. Anyway, he 'cures' me every time. He makes sure I can only leave our quarter if every obvious wound has healed. That normally doesn't take more than an hour. I am not super human - my dad is a doctor and has his sources of the precious nano robots. They do not only rebuild the hurt histoid and supply the needed energy and 'material' - they also numb the whole body like painkillers. It's the opposite of enjoyable when they're in your system but they do their job and then either exit the body or dissolve by getting into your digestive system.

You know? I am grounded. Locked up until all the damage is gone. Only then my father as the owner of the quarter types in the code that re-allows my ID to open and close doors here. There is no other way to escape my room since there is no window nor a balcony - this is a freaking space ship.

I see the infusion bag to my right, sterile needles next to me. As I did a thousand times before I stick the needle deep into my vein and wait, as the nano robots seem to tear my internal organs apart. I lay back down and let my hologram play some music.

It takes two hours, clearly longer than usual. I get up and feel worn out and exhausted but I look fine. No wonders. I slowly head into my bathroom after managing to get my stiff limbs off the floor and grabbing my backback from the corner.

I check the mirror, but I am fine. There are only several blood strains left on my suit. I take it off and put it in the cleaner. While it gets clean I take the second shower of the day. I feel like the warm comforting water embracing my body revives a small part of my inner self, the self that feels like death all the time.

The shower brings motivation and hope - at least a glimmer of those. Dry and fully chlothed, the packed backpack im my hand, I get fiercely determined to live the future I chose today. I get back into my empty room and pray that the door will open. As I slide my ID along the pad I am almost surprised that I can exit. Even the main door isn't locked, and the quarter is abandoned. I get out ad adjust the backpack.

I am coming.

It takes almost no time to get to the restricted military area of Alatis. I keep listening to music with my hologram on the way. I am fascinated that sounds can also be projected and I wonder how still only I can hear them if they emerge from my hologram and I did't turn on the group mode. But I am the last one to complain. Music is an anchor in my life. It uses to save me when all that shit is about to drown me. Sometimes I need the music, sometimes I need the lyrics - mostly I need both becaase I am such a wreck. And most people laugh at me, but I love music from about one hundret years around the year 2000. This stuff is crazy good.

After a short ride on a Bubble I reach the massive door most people are ever only going to see from the outside, I slide my ID along the pad, the door swings open and I enter confident but cautiously...

A new start?