On Our Own (gxg)

Chapter 20 - Silent storms are the wildest

I am surprised because I have forgotten how hot tears on my cheeks feel like. I have forgotten their salty taste. I have forgotten how they blur the view. They catch me off guard, they surprise me and they make me forget about how to act or think. I just do it, it's like watching myself from third-person-perspective.

My eyes blink the tears away. My hand reaches out to take Luna's. Luna startles at the touch, still submissive and afraid. My mouth forms words.

"Don't you ever think I expect anything in return. Never. You are yourself. And you yourself are the only person you owe anything. I just helped you escape from a system that is unfair and doesn't give second chances. But you deserve one. Everyone does. Now you are free. You are free to do whatever you want. I don't own you now and I don't twll you what to do. You decide, and only you."

I hear myself saying those words and for a second I think about them. I snap back to reality as Luna's free hand rises. Like in slow motion I see it coming closer and closer. A trembling finger touches my cheek. Cold. Another one. Her thumb brushes away my tears. I can't help but lean my head into her hand so that she cups my face. I blush and my heart pounds and my stomach flips and my mind rushes. And it's empty. At the same time.

I close my eyes for a little too long to be just blinking. My body, no, my soul has been craving for that kind of touch, of affection for ages without me knowing. Luna's touch. Why is it so different from hugging Malone?

The tears keep on streaming through my closed eye lids. But I don't cry from sadness and anger anymore. I cry from the touch.

I am not sure because my eyes are shut but I swear I feel a breath that is not mine hovering in my face. My heart skips a fucking beat.

I startle, I am excited and afraid. I try to think of something, anything, but my mind is empty. I feel like I am thirsty in a desert and at the same time drowning in an ocean.

I don't dare opening my eyes, but I am not in control of what I am doing anyways.

The breath is warm and calming, but I can feel it trembling. Luna's hand is still cupping my cheek.

And there they are. Lips. Lips that slightly touch mine. Careful. Afraid. Gentle. Unsure. Full of so many emotions.

My. Soul. Bursts.

I feel that Luna's lips are a little dry, but they are so inexpressably soft. And finally our lips don't just touch anymore. They connect. I give in. We both give in.

I still can't think anything, I am thoughtlessly overwhelmed. I am suddenly able to move again and our bodies just fit together neatlessly.

She kisses me and I kiss her, we melt away, I forget that there is a reality beside this kiss, my hands now grab her waist - she's so skinny - and wrap around her back and her hand still cups my face, her other brushes my hair. It could be seconds and hours and eternity. My heart keeps on skipping beats, I can't stop. With her hands on my cheeks, my jaw, my neck the room falls away. The space between us explodes, I am not able to bring her close enough. I realize I have been starving. Her lips and her taste burn me alive. I notice how soft her skin is and every time it brushes my face I can't believe this is real. I must have been waiting for this moment forever.

And then?

Then I destroy everything. Because my fucking mind starts thinking again. I pull back in shock and I feel how hard it is to seperate our lips. Like two magnets who had not yet been in each other's radius, but once they met they clinged to the other.

I step back, stumbling, the back of my legs hits the chair behind me. I am dizzy and oddly happy.

But fuck. Rayen. Fuck! What did just happen? What on earth made her kiss you? And what in this freaking goddamn universe has made you kiss her back?!