Author's Notes:
The song at the side (Boys Like Girls - Two Is Better Than One) is 'Blake and Anna's song' - it's got cute lyrics, but it's not the best song in the world. Plus, change the girl in the video's hair to brown and give the guy a tad bit longer hair and you pretty much get Anna and Blake :D
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Anna's Final Letter - Chapter 4:
I drown out all my thoughts by turning up my iPod even more. And then Anna and I's song begins to play, and I listen to each lyric carefully.
'Maybe it's true that I can't live without you'
I softly mouth along to the song, and another tear escapes as I remember when I heard this song for the first time.
'There's so much time to figure out the rest of my life'
I only saw the rest of my life with Anna...
'I think of you and everything's ok'
I can't do this anymore. I switch my iPod off.
I walk into the bathroom and turn the shower on before jumping into it. I leave my clothes on. I just need to wash away the pain and regret I feel. I want to feel all the bad things drip off me and for it to all be washed away. I shake uncontrollably from the cold water and the crying, and I put one of my forearms on the wall and lean on it. A few minutes later, I turn the shower off and sit on the edge of it with my head resting in my hands. I can hear the remaining water slowly drain away.
"Blake, dinner's ready," my mother calls. She's been so forgiving since she heard that Anna had died, and had been the most supportive person anyone could ask for.
"I'll be down soon," I say. I take off my sodden clothes and wring them out a couple of times, watching the excess water trickle down the plug hole. I sling them over the shower curtain railing, grab a soft towel from the rack and quickly dry off. I pull a fresh pair of boxers, shorts and a T-Shirt on before plodding down the stairs.
When my Mum sees my wet hair and weak smile, she knows that I had taken a shower to feel better. It was always something I did when I felt upset or angry. I sit down at the table, where a plate of pizza sits, waiting to be eaten. I normally love pizza and it would be gone in a matter or seconds, but I can't bring myself to eat it. I try my hardest to eat one slice to please my Mum, but I only manage three bites and then I leave the rest.
"Not hungry?" My Mum asks. She probably meant for it to come out good-heartedly and sympathetically, but it sounds almost like an accusation, like I should be hungry, that I should make an effort to be strong for Anna's sake - she wouldn't want me to be so upset.
I just sigh. I haven't spoken very much since Anna died. The most I ever speak nowadays is to Anna at her grave. Anna's name and the word 'grave' still don't sound right in the same sentence.
"No, Mum. I'll come downstairs and eat the rest when I am," I compromise. In return, I get a hopeful gaze from my Mum.
"Anna was a beautiful girl who loved you more than anything else in the world. Just remember that and cherish the beautiful times you had together," my Mum tells me.
I smile weakly and slightly nod before walking out of the room. While I walk quietly upstairs I hear her quietly say, "If only.."
That night, I dream of Anna.
' "Blake?" She softly whispers, moving closer to me.
"Yeah?"
"I would lay here with you forever if I could"
"Me too"
"And Blake?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
"I love you too."
We lay in the middle of the field for the rest of the night, laughing and gazing up at the stars. I had always wanted to do this kind of thing with Anna, and now I was.
She kissed my jaw lightly, and then I kiss her forehead, my kisses then trailing down to her temple, across her eyelid, down her cheek and then to her mouth.
At that moment in time, a shooting star went by.
"Make a wish," I tell her.
"I wish -"
I interrupt her before she can continue. "No, don't tell me. Otherwise it won't come true."
She pauses for a moment, her eyes looking to the side as she cocked her head, before smiling at me and wrapping her arms around me. I don't know what she wished for, and I suppose I never will know.
We gaze up at the stars together, making shapes and animals out of the different stars.
"Look, there's some that look like a heart," I say pointing up at just a small section of the vast network of stars
"No, stupid," she laughs, "That looks nothing like a heart!"
"1. I am not stupid. 2. It does look like a heart. And 3. If you call me stupid again I will have to attack you."
"Alright.... Stupid," she says playfully.
"That's it!" I start to tickle her on her sides - where I know she is most ticklish.
"Blake! Stop it!" she begs, laughing uncontrollably. "No, Stop!" '
"Blake? Wake up!" I hear my Mum yell at me.
As my vision gets clearer, I see she is looking at me worriedly. "What?" I ask.
"You were talking in your sleep again. I couldn't make out what you were saying, but based on the other times..."
She's scared because I often get nightmares about Anna now. But this dream was amazing, but awful at the same time because it makes my loss seem greater as I won't ever actually live a night like that with Anna ever again.
"I'm sorry for making you worry, Mum."
"No, I'm sorry, honey. I worry too much."
I force a small smile. I want things to become normal again, but what is normal without Anna?
YOU ARE READING
Anna's Final Letter - Version I
Romance'I'll tell her how I feel tomorrow', he thought. But what if she was gone tomorrow? The love between 17 year olds Blake and Anna was never voiced between them. Anna’s car came off the road and into a river, she was tragically killed by drowning – sh...
