Natasha Romanoff One Shots

Escaping the Hospital at 1:00 a.m.

As a spy, it was Natasha's job to be finding out secret information. Not lying face down on a hospital bed, sweating because of the amount of blankets the nurse had piled on her. Clint was beside her in his own bed, lying on his back, pillow over his head and snoring obnoxiously. All the light were off, the curtains were closed and the door was shut. There were less staff now that it was past midnight, surely they could get out and find their way back to the Avengers Tower. 

They weren't children, for God's sake, they were freaking spies, if anyone could handle bullet wounds, it was them. She was only shot in the shoulder, and it was practically healed, as was Clint's left arm. They didn't walk or run with arms, so they should've been allowed to leave. As it was, the nurses had left and locked them in, completely ignoring them, and stationing Agent Maria Hill outside to make sure they didn't escape.

Natasha rolled onto her side and threw Tony's gift, a purple, glittery hairbrush, at Clint's chest. Clint groaned and pushed the pillow off of his head, effectively making the hairbrush fall to the floor, making a loud clattering sound as it connected with the cold tiles. 

Natasha and Clint froze, looking at each other with wide eyes. They quickly scrambled to get back under the covers and make it look as if they were still sleeping. They closed their eyes and tried to control their laughter. Sure enough, the door banged open and Agent Hill poked her head in.

"Just what is going on in here?" She demanded. Quickly taking in the hairbrush lying on the floor and the shaking of shoulders, she sighed. "Agent Romanoff, it is not  nice to throw hairbrushes at Agent Barton. Especially when he is injured. Honestly, Natasha, you should know better than that."

Natasha snorted into her pillow. "I will if you let us go," she said hopefully. "Besides which, he's barely even hurt."

"I'm sure. Go to sleep, the pair of you." Hill ignored the comment, making her way back to the door, their laughter following her.

Natasha and Clint made eye contact and instantly knew what to do. They dressed and tied their bed sheets together, including blankets and anything else that would work and they could reach. Natasha pulled back the curtains and opened the window, an icy gust of wind blasting her in the face. Clint tied the rope made of sheets and blankets to the bed leg. They were on the third floor, so the sheets only reached halfway to the ground. The two spies then joined two pillows together for each of them, making the shape of a person. Natasha pinned quickly made hair onto them, complete with smiley faces drawn with a marker. Clint grabbed a few dozen pins and attached the pillow people to the end of the sheets.

Natasha threw the hairbrush at the door as hard as she could, once they were both well hidden and Agent Hill flung the door open. She had a furious look on her face, one which she only wore when she was seriously pissed.

"Natasha Roman-" She trailed off, catching sight of the empty beds and open window.

She didn't stop to realise that Natasha couldn't have thrown the hairbrush, as she was halfway down the building wall. Nor did she consider the fact that perhaps this was a trick. Instead, she swore and hurried over to the window. As she started pulling up the pillow people on the sheets, Natasha and Clint took their leave, slamming and locking the door. Hill scowled murderously and yelled for them to set her free at once. Taking out her phone, she called Fury and told him they were escaping.

Natasha and Clint tore along the hospital corridors, jabbing their fingers on the elevator button, hoping it would go faster. As it opened, Natasha caught a glimpse of an eye patch and was already swinging her fists at his face. Fury was out cold. The two took the stairs, three or four at a time.

Once down in the foyer, Natasha kicked opened the doors to the entrance and exit, making the glass shatter. they ran as fast as possible, arriving in Stark Towers five minutes later. Steve was waiting for them and had Natasha's wrists in his grip and Clint on the ground before they could blink. She scowled and bit the super soldier's hand but he didn't let go. Someone behind them punched Natasha's head, knocking her out and then doing the same to Clint.

The two woke strapped to hospital beds, the window barred and the door locked. Natasha's head pounded and she groaned, cursing whoever had hit her. Clint was still asleep, and from the look on his face, already awake and with a killer headache. 

Blearily, she opened her eyes and her mood got even worse as she saw her team and Fury assembled beside the two spies. She scowled at them and tried to roll over but of course, no one had taken the straps off. How kind of them. 

"What made you think that you'd get away?" Fury smirked.

"We almost did," Natasha mumbled.

They laughed and for a moment Natasha felt her mood plunge even lower before she closed her eyes again and went to sleep. Naturally, it didn't happen right away, as they were all making a tremendous racket.

Natasha opened her eyes again glared at them. "Either shut the hell up or get out now."

They all left - no one was stupid enough to mess with an angry Russian spy.