Natasha Romanoff One Shots

Little Children are Terrors

Maria Hill had been ordered by her younger sister that if she didn't babysit her daughter, she would lock her up in a cell for a year. Maria had said yes and now was leading the five year old girl into SHIELD.

"Is Aunt Nat here?" Julia asked excitedly.

"I think she's in that room," Maria grinned pointing to the room at the end of the hall. Julia ran towards it and stopped at the door. She was too short to open it so Maria helped her out. Natasha was playing a game of 'Throw Vodka at the Target' and was just about to throw one when Julia ran in and jumped on her back.

Natasha yelped and fell forward, the vodka bottle flying into the air. It landed a metre away from them, the alcohol splashing the two. Natasha was about to stand up when she felt something cold and sharp press against her throat. The agents in the training room cheered loudly at the sight of the Black Widow getting beaten by a five year old.

Natasha tried to take the knife away but Julia pressed harder, forcing her to lie down. Julia grinned down at her.

"Did I do it right?" She asked.

"Yeah, you did great. Now, if you could let me up before you chop my throats off, I'll teach you how to fire a gun," Natasha bargained.

Julia stepped away and gave the knife back to Maria who glared at Natasha. Natasha mock frowned and picked Julia up, hurrying over to the shooting range. No one was there so they went in the middle.

Natasha gave a small pistol to Julia and taught her the basics of holding it and pulling the trigger and aiming. Julia pulled the trigger and Natasha blinked. She stared down at her arm which now had a bullet hole in it.

Julia looked up at her with tearful eyes and dropped the gun to give the redhead a sorry hug. Natasha winced and prised the child away. A small dagger was embedded in her thigh, having come from Julia's pocket.

"Rule one," Natasha said. "Do not fire guns at me. Rule two. Do not stab me with daggers. Rule three. Do whatever you like to Clint."

Clint glared at her. "For that, I'm taking you to medical."

"Oh no, you're not," Natasha said. "Let's try out the-"

"Archery!" Julia yelled.

Natasha looked at Clint with an 'oh dear god, I am going to die' look in her eyes. Julia fired three arrows, one at Natasha's face, one at her stomach and one at her legs. Only the stomach one hit its target. Natasha pulled the arrow out and led the little girl over to the punching bags. 

Julia was pretty good at those. She even managed to send one flying into Natasha, giving her a nasty bruise. Clint and Maria stepped forward at the same time. 

"One more thing," Natasha said.

They nodded reluctantly and stepped back. Julia pointed to the knife throwing section and Natasha paled.

"Maybe when you're older," she promised.

"What's the mats for?" Julia asked.

Natasha let her shoulders drop in relief. "That's for yoga."

Julia made a face. "Boring. How about that?"

"Killer jungle gym," Natasha said.

After Natasha turned off everything that could hurt them, she allowed Julia to go. Natasha came out coated in a fine layer of charcoal and her left shin was burnt. 

"Alright, Julia. That was definitely ... different," Natasha said, handing the child to Clint.

She then gave an incredulous look to Maria. "How is it that your niece is so dangerous in the weapons area, but hopeless at them?"

"I'm bad at weapons?" Came a small voice from in between the two. Maria and Natasha both looked down and saw Julia looking up at them.

Natasha instantly crouched down and held the girl close to her. "No, you're not bad, you're really good. In fact, some day you might even be better than your auntie. She's who I was talking about. She's not very good, is she? She can't land a hit on me."

Julia brightened. "Really?"

"Yeah!" Natasha agreed. "But how about you go with Maria and she'll take you somewhere fun."

She stood up and beamed at Maria. Maria raised an eyebrow. Julia had gotten hold of a gun and was randomly firing everywhere. Everyone took cover except for Natasha and Clint who both tried to approach her like they would do for a target.

They managed to get the gun off of her in the end, though Natasha got her wrists caught in Clint's steel like grip. She was thrown over his shoulder and he walked off to medical with her. They let her out forty five minutes later, after she took the bullet out of her arm and wrapped her own wounds.

At the end of the painful day, Julia's mother, Louisa came in, carrying a baby boy on her hip. Natasha stopped playing cards with Julia and glared at Louisa. 

"I hope my daughter caused you pain," she spat.

"Oh, trust me, she did. But I didn't realise you had a son? Is the dad still around or was it someone you hooked up with while drinking?" Natasha retorted.

Louisa didn't answer but instead left the building with her children. Natasha turned to Maria.

"Now I know why you're so horrible," she said.

Maria scowled at her. "You didn't have to be so rude."

"Neither did she," mumbled Natasha.

"No, but you could have been the bigger person and ignored her," Maria suggested.

Natasha raised an eyebrow. "No thank you. And the next time you decide its bring the kids to work, let me know so I can plan in advance for an accident on a mission that will leave me stranded until the kids have gone home." She paused, thinking. "Also, teach Julia to play cards properly. It's no fun when she makes rules."

"You mean when she stops you cheating?" Maria raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, that's exactly what I mean," Natasha said.

Clint came over and smiled at Maria. "We're going home now," he said, leading Natasha away. "To teach her how to not cheat against a five year old."