Natasha Romanoff One Shots

Telephone Ringing

Nick Fury was sitting in the lunch hall when something loud and painful blared from the speakers. Fury cursed as he realised what it was and picked up the cable telephone at the front of the room. All eyes were watching. No one moved. 

"Yes?" Fury said, praying he was wrong.

The sound of an explosion filled the room and people winced.

"Fury," a voice gasped, recognisable as Clint Barton. "We need an evac team as soon as possible. Both injured, in Germany still, mission complete but we, ah, may have blown up the whole building on accident."

There was the unmistakable sound of a bow twanging and then a smaller explosion.

"Clint!" A second voice yelled indigently. "Stop talking to Fury and watch were you're aiming!"

"Sorry, darling," Clint said sarcastically.

A gun shot fired and Clint swore. "Don't shoot at me, you evil, lying, Russian spy."

"You just named all the things I'm good at. On your left," Natasha warned.

"Hello?" Fury said into the phone.

They both swore, probably jumping too. "Don't do that!" Natasha yelled.

"We're hiding now, come quick," Clint said hurriedly as loud gun shots fired through the air. He tried to cut the call off just as Natasha yelled out his name but his fingers must have slipped because the phone kept calling.

"Dammit," Natasha said angrily. "No bullets. Barton, you got any ammo?"

"None!" Came the reply. "You used it all up."

"идти умирать в яму, вы злобный ублюдок," Natasha yelled, throwing what she could find in at the enemy. There was a pause. Then, "Holy shit. I think I might've pressed the wrong button." Another pause. "Barton, get the hell out of here!" (go die in a hole, you evil bastard)

There was the sound of fast thudding footsteps and then a booming sound burst through the speaker of the phone. Fury held it away from himself and cut the call.

Fifteen minutes later Fury had an evacuation team sorted and flying to Germany. An hour later, they were scouring the ground for the two assassins who had never ever, ever called for an evacuation team before. Twenty five minutes later, they were standing at the edge of a hole, probably six or seven feet deep.

"Barton? Romanoff?" Agent Maria Hill called down. "You in there?"

There was a Russian curse and then an affirmative, coming as a "where the hell else would we be?" Hill and several other agents jumped down without hesitation, showing just how important these two were.

Their torches swept through, coming to land at the back, lighting up the forms of the two assassins. Clint was sprawled awkwardly, half on top of Natasha. They both had blood all over them and Clint was trembling. Natasha was trying to push him off her and sit up to calm him down but she was having little luck, as her elbow was dislocated, her ribs and nose were broken and she was losing blood at a steady pace. Clint had a gash on his forehead, gushing blood and a twisted ankle. 

Natasha finally managed to roll him off and lay back down with a thud. Not five seconds later she was sitting back up, rubbing circles on his palm and whispering soothing words. Hill and the others agents came over to them.

"Fitz, Simmons, get Barton onto that stretcher, May, help me get Romanoff to the jet," Hill ordered.

They all hastened to follow her orders but as soon as Clint was pulled away from Natasha he started trembling harder, unable to stop. Natasha pushed herself up with a grimace and hurried painfully over to him. She held his hand and smiled softly.

"Hey, we're okay, you're okay. We're with SHIELD, they'll have you fixed up in no time, shh, calm down, Clint. I know it hurts, but you have to calm so they can lift you up, shh, we'll  be fine," she murmured, soothing him instantly, tracing patterns on the back of his hand.

The agents stared at her, completely unused to this side of the Black Widow. She glared at them.

"Are you going to help him or just stand there staring at me?" She snapped.

They unfroze, strapping him to a harness so he could be pulled up. He thrashed as he felt his movements become restricted and his face contorted into a grimace.

"Clint!" Natasha exclaimed. "Calm down, they're only doing it to take you up, we're in a hole."

"Tasha?" He murmured.

"Yeah, Clint, I'm here, just let SHIELD do their job without making trouble." She grinned wickedly at them. "For now."

Clint smiled and stayed still. He was pulled up quick enough but when Natasha went with the other agents, she flipped upside down accidentally and almost fell back down. Luckily though, she made it up with no further trouble. 

Fitz and Simmons were already aboard the jet with Clint but despite that, Natasha still paused as the smell of antibiotics and everything medical filled her nostrils.

"Keep moving, Romanoff,' Hill smirked.

"But there's people waiting to stuff me in the infirmary," Natasha whined.

Sadly for her, everybody heard and hid their laughter. Suddenly Clint yelled out.

"Natasha, they're killing me!" He screamed. "HELP!"

"i thought you were fricking unconscious!" Natasha yelled back.

"That's why they're killing me. I have to face them now," he shouted. "Please help me, god dammit."

Natasha scowled at Hill who smiled smugly. "Go on, Black Widow. Your Hawk needs you."

"Вы злая корова," Natasha muttered. "You're worse than Fury." (you are an evil cow)

"What was that, Agent Romanoff?" Came a voice from behind her.

Natasha had a look on her face that made everyone subconsciously shiver and step away. Except for Hill and Fury.

"I hate you all," she declared, storming into the jet. "Clint, as soon as you can walk or run faster than that bastard directer, we're leaving."

"Brilliant. Let's leave now," Clint appeared next to her, his forehead bandaged and his ankle braced. He studied Natasha. "After you get your elbow back in place."

Natasha glanced down at her elbow in surprise. "Oh. It wasn't hurting anymore."

"Because you were used to it," Hill said, coming up behind her and popping it back in place.

Natasha swore in Russian and clutched her elbow. She took a deep breath and stood up straight. "Okay, now we can go."

She and Clint raced past them, running full speed out of the jet's door (the jet was starting to take off). The agents on the ground were getting into trucks stared at them in shock as the two rolled and stood up before running as fast as possible towards the trucks. They jumped onto the back of the trucks, grabbed a few guns and left, Clint's bow back in his hands.

A week later, they turned up on the Avenger Towers doorstep, covered in grime and blood, clothes ripped and almost out of ammo but grinning happily. Fury yelled at them for what seemed like ages, but finally they were allowed to go and hang out with the Avengers.