Natasha Romanoff One Shots

Thank God, Romanoff's Lost Her Voice

The SHIELD van sped into the car park and the brakes squealed like a pig as the driver slammed to a stop. The door slid open and Agents Barton and Romanoff got out. They went through the normal SHIELD procedure: go straight to Medical,  get cleared by Psych, start debrief. Only Natasha was stopped at Medical, as the gas that she had breathed in had made her lose her voice.

Fury heard and said, "My prayers have been answered. I don't have to listen to Romanoff for three whole days."

Coulson heard and said, "Brilliant. I can do my work in peace."

Clint knew and said, "Damn, now I have no partner in crime."

Natasha was being kept in Medical overnight. Clint visited at midnight, knowing she would be awake, only to find the bed empty and the window ajar. He poked his head out and saw her hanging off the pipe, halfway down the building. It wobbled and bent under the extra weight, however little.

"ROMANOFF," Clint yelled. "Get back up here!"

She replied by sticking her tongue out and moved carefully along the side of the building using jutting out bricks. One crumbled and Clint took a deep breath, knowing that if she fell he would never forgive either of them. 

Natasha swore mentally as she saw that the window she wanted was two metres away, and there were no more handholds. She took a deep breath and started swinging herself. When she had gained enough momentum, she let go and smashed feet first through the window.

Agent Hill jumped and stood, holding her gun. When she saw it was only Natasha she put the gun down and glared.

"What the hell are you doing?" She demanded. "Actually, never mind. What d'you want this time?"

Natasha pointed at the computer, then mimed typing and mouthed thank you. She pulled up several files and skimmed over each one. Her body relaxed though she still wasn't done yet. Natasha went into Clint's personal file and started changing things like the photo and info. 

Then she deleted everything, stood up, grinned, and left. Just as the door shut, Clint dropped down from the vents and looked around the room. Hill looked at him and pointed towards the door wordlessly. Clint said a hurried thanks and ran out of the room, catching a flash of Natasha's red hair disappearing round the corner.

When the doctors went to check in on her at 1:00 a.m. they found her asleep. 

When Clint went in to sit beside her at 2:00 a.m. she was gone, a mannequin in her place. Clint scowled darkly and muttered threats and curses. He let the doctors and nurses know before conducting his own search in the vents.

She either wasn't there or she was moving, not content to sit still. The whole building was alerted that Romanoff was on the move, having escaped from her bed in Medical. Clint found her sitting behind a vending machine. She looked up in amusement. Clint glared at her and handcuffed their wrists together.

"What on earth are you doing?" came a voice from behind them.

"Now at least I'll know where she is," Clint said tiredly.

"Really?" Fury looked at him, amusement dancing in his eyes. 

Clint looked down and found the cuff meant to be on her wrist empty, dangling by his side. He cursed and when he looked again she was back, this time holding coffee. They sat down on the floor and leaned back against the wall.

"You haven't really lost your voice, have you." It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

Natasha grinned at him.

"Where'd you go, if you're so keen to carry on this pretense?"

Natasha pointed to a sign that had Maria Hill's name on it.

"Why?" Clint asked.

Natasha smiled secretively. 

"Oh, you're not telling. I'm going to bed and you're going to Medical and staying. Got it?" Clint asked.

Natasha nodded but neither moved. They fell asleep on each others shoulders and only woke up when Fury shook them.

"Idiots. Go back to bed," he scowled.

"Yes sir," Natasha said cheerfully.

Fury sighed. "Goddammit. I will never go a day in peace without hearing your voice."

Natasha smiled sweetly at him and walked away to find something to pick the lock on the handcuffs, dragging Clint behind her.