Sometimes the hardest part of falling in love is the person you're in love with not having a clue.
Jayde had left her Tumblr blog open on her iPad at the precinct while getting up to go to the break station. Amanda was the one who noticed it was open when her eyes caught a glimpse of it from her desk. She got up and wrote down the blog name before going back to her desk. The day had been slow so she accessed the blog from her web browser. The stuff Jayde had on the blog interested her. Along with the usual cute dog, cat and baby pictures, she found diary entries and personal pictures of her and Johnny, their friends and her with Sonny.
As Amanda read what her friend had written about Sonny and Rafael, she was surprised. She knew that she was in love with Rafael but she didn't know that she had slept with Sonny. In other blog entries, she found out Jayde's true relationship with Johnny. Not only were they close friends, but she had been sleeping with him as well, even when he was still married.
October 29, 2016 Dear mom and dad, I just want you to know that I love and respect you and I am so grateful for everything you have done for me. I just feel like I don't have my own life anymore. It's like every decision I make isn't good enough and it makes me think that I'm not good enough. I wish you would listen and respect me. I'm not trying to be a difficult daughter, please know that. I have dreams that don't work include law school or getting married to Johnny. My dream is to be a forensic psychologist and work with children. Please don't think I'm being disrespectful because that is not my intention. I hope you read this letter knowing how much I love both of you. Su hija,
Jayde
Amanda's heart broke upon reading this. She knew exactly how it felt to have issues with parents as she wasn't exactly close with her parents or even her sister Kim. Jayde had said that she had problems with her parents but she never knew how bad it was until now. Her eyes wandered down to a playlist she had made on Spotify of her favorite songs:
• 30/90 – tick,tick... BOOM!
• American Honey – Lady Antebellum
• Another Day – Rent
• As Bad As I Am – Hollywood Vampires
• As Long As You Love Me – Backstreet Boys
• Back to Black – Amy Whinehouse
• Barely Breathing – Duncan Sheik
• Before He Cheats – Carrie Underwood
• Big Poppa – Notorious B.IG.
• Born This Way – Lady Gaga
• Breathe – Backstreet Boys
• Cold Turkey – Hollywood Vampires
• Come To My Window – Melissa Etheridge
• Come What May – Moulin Rouge soundtrack
• Cool Kids – Echosmith
• Crazy Train – Ozzy Osbourne
• Dancing Through Life – Wicked soundtrack
• Defying Gravity – Wicked soundtrack
• Dog Days Are Over – Florence + The Machine
• Don't – Ed Sheeran
• Don't Let Me Get Me – Pink
• Dream On – Aerosmith
• Drops of Jupiter – Train
• Everlong – Foo Fighters
• Feels Like Home – Backstreet Boys
• Fight Song – Rachel Platten
• Get On Your Feet – Gloria Estefan
• Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life) – Green Day
• Gunpowder & Lead – Miranda Lambert
• Halloween – Rent soundtrack
• Hands Clean – Alanis Morissette
• Heartbeat Song – Kelly Clarkson
• Hopelessly Devoted To You – Grease Soundtrack
• I Can't Make You Love Me – Bonnie Raitt
• I Dreamed a Dream – Les Miserables soundtrack
• I Got a Line on You – Hollywood Vampires
• I Need to Know – Marc Anthony
• I Want To Hold Your Hand – the Beatles
• I Will Survive – Gloria Gaynor
• I'm a Boy – Hollywood Vampires
• I'm With You – Avril Lavigne
• If I Die Young – the Band Perry
• If I Fell – the Beatles
• If You Had My Love – Jennifer Lopez
• In A World Like This – Backstreet Boys
• Itchycoo Park – Hollywood Vampires
• Just Like A Pill – Pink
• Just The Way You Are – Billy Joel
• Keep Holding On – Avril Lavigne
• King of Anything – Sara Bareilles
• La Vie Boheme A & B – Rent soundtrack
• Love The Way You Lie – Eminem
• Make the Money – Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
• Manic Depression – Hollywood Vampires
• Memory – Cats soundtrack
• Miss Independent – Kelly Clarkson
• My Dead Drunk Friends – Hollywood Vampires
• My Generation – Hollywood Vampires
• My Happy Ending – Avril Lavigne
• No Diggity – Blackstreet
• No Scrubs – TLC
• One Phone Call – Backstreet Boys
• One/Jump In The Fire – Hollywood Vampires
• Out Of My Head – Fastball
• Out Tonight – Rent soundtrack
• Over the Moon – Rent Soundtrack
• Paradise – Coldplay
• Paranoid – Black Sabbath
• Playing God – Paramore
• Popular – Wicked soundtrack
• Price Tag – Jessie J
• Push – Matchbox Twenty
• Radioactive – Imagine Dragons
• Raise the Dead – Hollywood Vampires
• Raise Your Glass – Pink
• Same Love – Macklemore & Ryan Lewis featuring Mary Lambert
• Save Me, San Francisco – Train
• Semi-Charmed Life – Third Eye Blind
• Seven and Seven Is – Hollywood Vampires
• She's In Love With The Boy – Trisha Yearwood
• Show 'Em What You're Made Of – Backstreet Boys
• Show Me The Meaning of Being Lonely – Backstreet Boys
• Smack – 3 Doors Down
• Smells Like Teen Spirit – Nirvana
• So What – Pink
• Spanish Eyes – Backstreet Boys
• Stand By You – Rachel Platten
• Starting Over – Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
• Strong Enough – Sheryl Crow
• Sugar, We're Going Down – Fall Out Boy
• Summertime Sadness – Lana Del Rey
• Take a Chance On Me – ABBA
• Take Me to Church – Hozier
• The Last Vampire – Hollywood Vampires
• The Way – Fastball
• The Worst Pies in London – Sweeney Todd soundtrack
• Thinking Out Loud – Ed Sheeran
• This Kiss – Faith Hill
• Thnks fr th Mmrs – Fall Out Boy
• Thrift Shop – Macklemore & Ryan Lewis featuring Wanz
• Today 4 U – Rent soundtrack
• Torn – Natalie Imbruglia
• True Love – Pink
• Try – Pink
• Turn The Beat Around – Gloria Estefan
• Unpretty – TLC
• Viva La Vida – Coldplay
• Wake Me Up When September Ends – Green Day
• Walk This Way – Aerosmith
• Wanted – Hunter Hays
• Waterfalls – TLC
• We Go Together – Grease soundtrack
• What You Own – Rent soundtrack
• What's Up? – 4 Non Blondes
• When I Come Around – Green Day
• Whole Lotta Love – Hollywood Vampires
• Will I – Rent soundtrack
• Without You – Rent soundtrack
• You Get What You Give – New Radicals
• You Learn – Alanis Morissette
• You Oughta Know – Alanis Morissette
• You Shook Me All Night Long – AC/DC
• You're So Vain – Carly Simon
• Your Song – Elton John
Amanda closed her laptop and thought. She wanted to talk to Jayde and she saw that she was heading toward the bathroom. This was a private place to talk so Amanda followed her in then she waited until she was done. "You waiting to use the bathroom", Jayde asked. "No I actually I wanted to talk to you, you left your blog open and I looked through some of it on my laptop –"
"You read my blog?"
Amanda nodded and Jayde covered her face embarrassed. "How much did you read?"
"You're fighting with your parents, are in love with Barba, slept with Carisi. I'm not here to judge you, I think you need a friend. Trust me, I know family drama".
Jayde sighed not knowing what to say. Amanda pulled her into a hug which she reciprocated. "If you need to talk about boys or family, please call me".
"I will", Jayde said smiling. "Just... please don't show it to anyone, especially Sonny".
Amanda smiled. "I promise".
The girls came out of the bathroom and Fin asked what they were doing.
Amanda smiled at him. "Just having some girl time, Fin".
