lacy (l.r.h.)

§epilogue§

dear luke,

hi.

if those messages sent, i would've done so much more. things wouldn't be this way.

you would be the father of my child. you would be my husband.

but i didn't know.

and i hate myself.

could i have stopped this? of course. but did i? no. i didn't.

michael says it's not my fault, that i didn't get the messages before it was too late. i said okay, but i still can't get it through my head.

it is my fault.

i hate this. i hate you, luke, for leaving me. i hate you so much.

but i still love you. and i miss you. and i would give anything to be by your side again.

michael, calum, and ashton are taking care of me now, like they promised.

but it's not the same. it's not right. none of them kiss me goodnight. and if they did, it would be nothing compared to you.

none of them hold me and tell me i'd be a great mom. none of them tell me tomorrow will be a better day for us. none of them give me butterfly kisses. none of them cuddle with me in the middle of the night.

none of them are you.

i know you're dead, luke, but i'm still sending this. because i believe that in another world, you'll see this. and you'll wish you never did what you did.

i love you, lucas robert hemmings. and even though i hate you; hate you for what you did... i'll keep going, just like you wanted me to. goodbye, luke. you will be missed.

- lacy ;