Sweet Boy's Split Decision (11)

Thirty Nine

He made pan-fried pork chops and they were delicious.  We had yummy noodles and green beans and applesauce and I was absolutely stuffed by the time I'd finished.  "That was delicious Sir, thank you."

"You worked up quite an appetite this weekend; you need to eat well. Nevertheless, you're welcome."

There was never going to be a good time to bring this up but I'd been thinking about it quite a bit over the weekend.  Granted, most of that thought had happened today since the past few were a blur but I wasn't sure how much longer could hold it in.  I had gone back and forth in my mind about whether or not to talk to Sir Kevin and Ollie about it first but the fact of the matter was that I knew Greg just as well as they did, maybe better.

I had worked myself up into a frenzy over a few pillows and it had been nothing.  Maybe this was the same and if that was the case, thinking about it until the next time I saw him was just going to make me crazy for no good reason.

"Can I ask you something Sir?  I'm unclear on, well not exactly rules but... how you would see something."

"I'm intrigued.  One moment."

He cleared the table and loaded the dishwasher quickly.  "Go ahead."

He always preferred me to be blunt and not beat around the bush as his mother would say, so I just put it out there.  "I think I would like to buy a house, Sir.  Maybe then I wouldn't feel so homeless and transient.  Besides, I think it would solve a lot of issues."

He didn't answer, just cocked his head to the side and folded his hands in his lap.  He looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn't.

"We seem to get along better when you're in my apartments.  I have plenty of money in my savings to just buy whatever I want and you've already done so much for me that I would like to try to help.  But it's not really for you Sir, it's for me.  I think I would be more secure and more stable emotionally if I knew that no matter what happened..." I couldn't say the rest, that he wouldn't be able to kick me out. But he probably felt the same way.  Or maybe he didn't, a house was just four walls, right?

"You've decided not to live with me?  Because of the delay?"

"No!  No Sir, that's not what I meant at all.  I want you to...to... for us both of us to live there.  Together." I wasn't even sure if that had made any sense. He sat back.  "It's not really that different, really.  Just a little bit, in ways that might help me."

"You've been fine all day until now."

What did he mean?  I had to force down a swallow and desperately wished I had something to do with my shaking hands.  Ah, the nerves.  "I don't think I'm crashing, I'm just nervous."

"Good, I was hoping that our TV time would help ease your drop.  Why are you nervous?"

"I loved it Sir, really. I guess I'm worried because this is a big deal and I'm afraid you're going to tell me to forget about it and that you don't want to do it at all.  And I want to live with you Sir.  So much."  I sounded whiny and pathetic even to my own ears.  "It's not you, I'm just..."

"Christopher?"

That got my attention, sort of like being dumped in cold water.  "Yeah?"

"I need you to decide whether you want to purchase the home because it truly does solve some issues that you seem to think we have, of which I only know one and that is the fact that I can't currently get a mortgage.  Or, if you want to purchase the house because you think that any delay may change the outcome."

"The first one."  I didn't have to think that hard because it was true, I'd been considering it ever since he first asked me to move-in.  There was a big part of me that never wanted to move into his mother's house.  "I'm not sure I would ever feel comfortable in your mother's house."  There, I said it out loud.  "It's a nice house but it's, there's so much history there and it's 1000% yours."

"It's a very nice house. I've agreed to let you bring your things, what's the problem?"

"Well, would we be able to redo the kitchen? I would pay for it of course, because it's only fair but, would it be okay if we changed some things?"

"There's nothing wrong with it now. Except the carpet in the Den, that will need to come up."

"There's nothing wrong with it Sir, but it's not ours. You have your own style and for the most part I like it but I also have mine and I need to feel like wherever I live is my house too."

"If you don't like her house why didn't you just tell me?"

Did he think I hadn't tried? "I do like her house Sir, I do. And as long as I'm with you, that's the most important part but I guess where we would live just sort of seemed to be already decided. Now that it's on hold, I think we should consider other options and I think there might be a better house out there for us."

"Very well, if that's how you feel then I'd like to think about your idea and I'll let you know."

That was probably as good of an answer as I could hope for. We had discussed it, like adults and he would think about it. "Thank you."

"You're welcome.  Will you be staying the night?"

"If you don't mind, I'd like to."

"Of course I don't mind, it's Saturday night and on Saturday nights you often stay over."

Yes, yes I did.