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{trigger warning?}

     The idea of secrets was something that brought security to me. I had tons of secrets, and everyone else does too. But one secret in particular was what challenged me everyday.

     You see, I was supposed to be "Daddy's little girl", and not in the kinky way. I was born a boy in the body of a girl, no one but my family knew that though. Well, no one in town at least. All through school I was bullied about being the "tranny", so when I heard the news about my father moving due to work situations I was beyond happy.

     Once we moved, no one had to know who I was before. People still found out about it, but it wasn't too much to handle. My father was upset of course, and my mom approved enough to convince my dad not to kick me out last year.

     Nothing was worse than dysphoria, not even the beatings my dad and others gave me. Feeling uncomfortable in your body is something I wouldn't wish om my worst enemies. Everytime I looked on the mirror, my high cheekbones, small shoulders, wide waist, breasts, anything else that portrayed femininity, kept me from going out in public or anything related to. My tumblr account was the only thing that gave me enough hope to not end my life.

     Well, now you know my story. The depressed, trans, gay, attention seeking boy that represents me. I hope one day I could be better, after I start hormones and get sex reassignment surgeries. I could be happy, but until then I'll have to life off the false happiness of praise and drugs.

     I decided to tell Josh today, since it'll be better if he runs away now than when I get even more attached to him.

     Josh promised he would never leave me because of something as stupid as me being transgender. He said that just because I wasn't born a boy, doesn't make me any less of one. If he didn't have my heart before, he definitely has it now.

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"i refer to you as my special love, the one that set me free."
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