A Shitty Love

(8.3

Levi

Levi let out a quiet grunt and felt his sticky essence trickle over his fingers as he slowed his furious beating to a calmer pace. Although he had purged himself of any pressing physical cravings, the object of his desire did not leave his mind; the focus merely shifted from the imagined pleasures of their body to the very real memories of her company. Snippets of conversation and flashes of her face floated on his mind as he absentmindedly continued rubbing his cöck. It refused to stand down as long as he was touching it and thinking of her.

"Fücking Simone." How he wished he could.

He rose from the perfectly made bed, careful not to soil it with any fluids, and went to wash his hands. Hopefully his dïck would take the hint that playtime was over and go limp. He rubbed on the wonderful cleansing goo and lathered, trying to think of it rather than her. All the extra chores he did gave him no solace from his shitty thoughts about Simone, and only the daily mâsturbation sessions gave him a respite from the images of Simone in his head. Simone naked. Simone on top of him. Simone in the shower. Simone with a mouthful of his c*ck. Simone Simone Simone.

He needed a damn hobby, he thought at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. Illegal fight clubs, perhaps? He'd been looking up ways to make money, but he had no desire to be a criminal again, especially not in this world. He just needed a distraction from her.

Aside from the incessant need to touch himself to the point of chafing, thinking of her wasn't so bad. Thinking of her made him feel . . . warm inside. Being with her made him . . . "Happy? Does she make me happy? What the fuck does that even mean??" Levi shut the notion out. Until the universe had dropped him and his cohorts in this world, he'd taken enjoyment in killing titans and extending humanity's bleak existence a few more days. And that was only before he'd found out that they were slicing up a human every time they felled one of those ridiculous lumbering giants. "She's just good company. And you haven't had 'death by titan' looming over you for a while-that'll lift anybody's spirits. Don't let the insanity win, Levi. She doesn't even think of you that way, she's just likes her shitty jokes. Don't make this more than it is. Just stick to the constant thoughts of you plowing that plump, soft, hot body of hers. While she's wearing those white boots." He'd liked that ensemble tonight, especially the boots. Something about how they fit her rotund thighs made his animal side stir.

His animal side. That creature that he'd caged and only let out when he needed to really fück some shit up. Titans, mainly. Sometimes people. It was cunning and silver-tongued, even to himself. Lately it had taken a liking to Simone, too, and would lick its lips hungrily every time she was especially bothersome. Like that time he'd kissed her after the beach. The beast had wanted him to do more than "act". Simone didn't know how pleasing her filthy suggestion that they fornicate in the street had sounded to it. Or the night she had broken that random asshole's nose. "She's a feisty thing in all that sparkle. Get underneath that dress, Levi. Let's find out just how feisty . . ." the creature had growled. Anytime she looked particularly sexy, the wily demon would stride back and forward in its prison, waiting for a weakness in Levi's resolve to keep his hands off Simone.

But the suggestions weren't what bothered Levi. What bothered him was that every request the beast made to bend her over, rip her clothes off, scrëw her until all she knew was pleasure, or simply kiss her was only an unfiltered mirror of his own yearnings. That savage desire to have her in every way possible was all him, just reflected by his superlative Ackerman blood. Even when that damn Jason Brown had been about ask her for a date, it was not fear for their exposure as foreigners or dwindling time to get to the rail stop that had driven him to quit eavesdropping and snatch her away-though those were good secondary reasons. It had been the animal's insidious growling that he could never fill that spot. Levi knew snatching her away was futile, that Simone' was an indomitable spirit that would take care of herself; it made her all the more appealing. He knew that she could choose anyone she wanted and that odds were against that one being a traumatized soldier with an expiration date. Yes, it was utterly pointless, but it gave him satisfaction to put a specific face to the fortunate strangers she would enjoy and imagine stepping on it.