temporary bliss ➟ muke ✓

seventeen; give me something

before i slip under your sheets, can you give me something, please?

each second that ticked by on the clock made michael twitch with anxiety. he licked his lips before forcing his gaze away and tried his best to focus on the bowl of cereal in front of him, but it seemed like he couldn't make himself eat a thing.

it was eleven o'clock in the morning, michael had just gotten up, and he longed to go back to bed. it was his birthday, but he didn't feel a bit of joy at all. nobody texted or called him to wish him a happy birthday. he hadn't even heard back from luke yet, and maybe that was what broke his heart the most.

the faux blond pushed away the bowl of soggy cereal before standing up to go back into his bedroom. he winced at the feeling of fresh cuts scattered along his thighs, and he looked down to see that his boxer shorts were stained with his blood. the cuts must have bled through the bandages he had pitifully put on last night.

michael was turning a year older, but he had never felt more like his younger, depressed self.

after pulling open the bathroom door, michael stepped onto the bathroom tile with bare feet. he shut the door and begged himself not to look at himself in the mirror, but he lifted his face and began to cry all over again at the sight of his reflection.

michael suddenly remembered the metal piece that he left on the bathroom counter last night. he sniffled before stretching upwards to grab it, wincing as it prickled his fingertips and then staring at it once it was in his eyesight. he sat up straighter as he studied it, his tongue sticking out to lick over his dry lips.

he was well aware of the fact that killing himself was a permanent solution to a temporary situation, but he didn't feel like his situation was temporary anymore. the 'situation' that he was in was his fucking life, and he could no longer see a way to get out of his life.

when michael heard his cell phone ringing, he jumped out of his skin and dropped the little metal piece on the tile. michael cringed at the sound it made before putting his face in his hands, crying harder as his phone continued to ring from somewhere in his house, most likely his bedroom. he wanted to ignore it and continue on with what he was about to do, honestly.

but a part of him needed to see who it was, just in case it was luke.

he stood up on shaky legs before walking out of his bathroom, limping to his bedroom and grabbing his phone that was on his bed. he had missed the call, but he saw that luke had left him a voicemail to listen to. michael curiously let it play and put his phone up to one ear.

"hey, michael, it's luke. um, i don't know why you didn't pick up, but i hope everything's okay. i just got home and i'm going to swing by your house because, well, i need to talk to you, so i hope that's okay. see you in five minutes, princess."

"ev-everything's not okay, l-luke," michael whispered as he put his cell phone down and glanced down to his dreary attire, "i-i w-was just ready to en-end it. i-i still want to, an-and i will. i-i'm not th-the princess y-you think i am. pr-princesses w-wouldn't hurt themselves like i-i am..."

michael took off the shirt that he had slept in and put on a different long-sleeved shirt with metallica's logo on it, then put on a pair of black sweatpants. he glanced down, thinking that he looked like a trash bag with the way his clothes were all black and baggy on him.