He keeps me warm - Harry Styles fanfic(Editing/Not Complete)

chapter 15~ love and confessions.

Harry. He's all i can think about. Thourghts running in my head. I need to tell him. I need to actually tell him lots of things. I need to say i love him but i also need to say i have Leukemia. I don't know when to. And if he does love me i'm sure this is going to break his heart. I want to tell him everything. From the time when i was diagnosed. I want to tell him that i want to spend every last second with him. I need to tell him i love him. 

Harry's POV~ 

It's been a long time since i've met Beth. Well it feels like i've known her for so long when really i've only known her for half a year. We have gone on so many dates since our first and i don't think i can remember or count how many times we've been going out. As we have been going out i've begin to feel attached like i can't go away from her. I was shocked and surprised when she told me i wasn't allowed to fall in love with her. It's silly for her to say that but also very suspicious to. I want to know why i can't fall in love with her. As i got to know her on the first day my eyes were on her the whole time. She's so beautiful and i wasn't affriad to say it to and i'm still not but i don't really know what i feel right now. I think i love her but i'm not sure. After that statement she's been making me think. I think to hard but i can't let her go. I will do whatever it takes for her to love me because i.i-i..i love her. "i love her" i say out loud. "dude what?" Will asks as i was thinking. Shoot did i just say that outloud. Oh well..it's true. "yeah i love her." i say again proud. "dude who do you love?" Will asks grinning. "i love Beth" i say happily. "ah i knew it! oh my god i've got to tell Nat!" he says. "nooooo don't because then she will then tell Beth and then that means it will just ruin everything Will. Please don't" i say worried. "ok dude but you gotta tell her" he says walking into the bathroom. He's right. I must tell her. I'll tell her tonight. But i need to make it all casual so i'll have to plan a date or something. I got it. The lake.

Beth's POV~ 

i get a buzz on my phone and immediatly jump when i see the name. It's Harry. 

*hey Beth i'm taking you out tonight ok? bring some bathers :)* he texts.

*haha ok sure when shall i meet you?* i ask

*i'll pick you up at 7:00 ok?* 

*yeah sounds awesome :)* i reply but immediatley think about what i'm going to say to him. I don't know what to say first. Should i just tell him in the car? not it won't work. He'll probably tell me to leave and never speak to me again. think.

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"you got your bathers?" he asks and then hugs me. Oh my god. This feels wonderful but i'm gonna die so i should probably stop thinking like this.  "yes i have them on" i say smiling. "hey you never told me what your actually studying at college" he says surprised. "oh god really! oh shoot sorry...right now i am studying to become an English writer, a journerlist, an authour you know..that's what i am in the english writing class ahaha" i say happily. "that sounds wonderful and guess what i never told you either, i want to be an author aswell haha! this is so weird..that's why i'm taking the full two semester classes of english writing, i'm also doing music as you know before on the day we met i told you as we were kind of falling asleep..i play the guitar and i can sing" he says as e are driving now on the road. "yeah i must of been asleep when you told me, we were talking for a while and i guess i kind of snoozed off, sorry Harry" i say and place my hand on his thigh and he immediatley reacts and looks down at me hand. I quickly think if i should take it off or just leave. I make the wise descision and take it off but then he grabs my hand and pulls it back to his thigh and holds my hand down softly. 

He's very clingy. to break the silence of the car ride "so where are we off to anyway Harry?" i ask him 

"it's a secret" he says and then we pull up to a.....lake. 

"a lake" i say kind of quick. "yeah...i used to come here when i was younger alot..when we travelled of course. I used to just sit on the edge right here" he says pulling me down with him and sitting on the edge. "and i used to just think about happiness and well...whatever really" i put my head on his sholder as we watch the sun set. "isn't it beautiful?" he asks "yeah it is...it's so...calming and oh my god i love it. This place is perfect" i say and begin to get up and take off my clothes, revealing my pink and green bikini. I see Harry looking at my body and begin to rap my arms around my stomach. I'm so skiny. I hope he doesn't judge me. It's the cancer. 

"don't hide your body...your beautiful...you may be skiny but you are so beautiful Beth" he says to me getting up and pulling my arms away from me. If only he knew what's really going on inside me. He begins to take off his top and jeans and my eyes begin to roam his body to. His tatto's look beautiful. Especially the butterfly. I look on body and see my butterfly. It's meant all right here. The butterfly tatto's the french words, the authors...we're meant to be. He then jumps in to the lake and pretends to drown. "help me Beth! Please i can't swim..i don't want to die! ahoh" he says screaming. "are you for real?" i ask and then jump in the lake swimming up to him quickly. "i was just kidding" he says. "well you shouldn't kidd" i say and then start to think about my cancer. I should tell him. But i don't know how to. "I have something to tell you" we both say in unisine. "oh haha you first" he says. "nope it's ok, you go first" i say panicking. "ok....well i have something to say to you and i don't know how to...i've been thinking about it all the time and well here it is.......I love you Beth" . He says softly holding my sholders. My bony cancer filled sholders. I love him but i know i can't because this ruins everything. I stay silent. "hello earth to Beth!" e says looking into my eyes. Oh. "sorry.....I umm well i don't know how to say this but i um-" i say but interupted i am by Harry. "wait you don't love me? oh god this is..shoot i'm sory" he says letting go of my sholders. "no Harry wait!" i say as he turns around. "i have cancer Harry!" i say and then start to cry. "what?!?" he says and turns back around to me and holds me again. "yes it's Leukemia! i'm so sorry and well i love you to, infact i love you so much it hurts and i didn't want to tell you becuase i have cancer. I have cancer." i say crying. "fuck!" he says and then holds me tighter and pulls me into a hug. He's crying. "i'm so sorry Harry...i should of told you sooner" i say and then begin to slowly cry even harder. "no please don't be sorry Beth...i didn't know. I love you ok and we're gonna get through this! your gonna get through this" he says kissing me. He knows not to go to hard because i can hardly breathe. I respect that. "i love you" he says kissing my neck. I'm crying.

"I love you Beth ok and your not gonna die. I won't let that happen!" he says. "i love you to Harry and this is killing me. It really is. You and Nat are the only people i have told. We can tell Will but this stays a secret. Ah i am so sorry." i say once again. "lets just enjoy these moments ok and i'm sure the doctors will find a cure." he says and pulls me by the arm to go out to the middle of the lake.

The water fountain goes on and we begin to get sprayed in the face. We are crying with laughter and then i kiss him. He needs to know that i believe in the cure aswell. I love him with all my heart and i can't thank the school counciller enough for taking Harry on a tour. I wouldn't of met him otherwise and he wouldn't of kissed me in the cafe room..he wouldn't of helped me forget about Mark. He's all mine and i love him.

*****THE SONG ON THE SIDE IS JUST A TRIBUTE TO BETH AND HOW SHE FEELS*******