chuck e. cheese ; joshler [✔️]

control

life became a repetitive cycle for josh; go to a club, get wasted, sleep with a complete stranger, and try to recall the previous night the next morning. he couldn't live with himself, the weight of what he did to tyler dragged him down and it was unbearable.

josh felt like a monster. he had lead tyler on and made him believe that what they had together was love. he felt horrible knowing that tyler was probably thinking that the whole thing was his fault, that he ruined his relationship with josh.

on top of all that dallon had told josh that tyler was back with brendon, which didn't help with the overwhelming guilt that was consuming him. brendon had heard from someone that tyler and josh were no longer talking, josh assumed it was dallon (he had a habit of accidentally running his mouth), and immediately he took the opportunity to get tyler back. josh couldn't do anything about it this time around and that was killing him. he couldn't even look after tyler as a friend anymore. but what was he supposed to do?

he realized that he couldn't fix it, at least not so soon, so he decided to try to move on. dwelling on his mistakes would only make things worse. and that's how josh ended up in his repeating cycle in search for a little escape.

so here he was, in bed with a random person and a massive hangover from the night before. josh groaned and turned on his side to face the person he had slept with and he cringed at their appearance. why would he have chosen them?

"okay buddy, let's get you up and out of here," josh ordered as he pushed the guy and shoved him his clothes, leading him out if the bedroom and to the front door. "i hopefully won't see you again, bye!"

he slammed the door and slid down the wall, burying his face in his hands. that's when he noticed the sharp pain in his ass, causing his eyes to widen as he shot up and speed walked into the kitchen where he heard dallon making breakfast.

"i think he's the ugliest one you've brought back," dallon chuckled through a mouthful of bacon.

"i think i may have- i think i was the bottom," josh whisper shouted, his face contorting to a look of disgust.

"that guy was my height, josh. no way in hell would he be a bottom against you."

josh rolled his eyes and huffed, reaching over to grab a piece of bacon off of the frying pan. he sat down on a stool and picked up the bottle of advil, unscrewing the lid and pouring two tablets into the palm of his hand. he downed the pills and sighed in relief, knowing that in a matter of time some of his pain would be relieved.

"josh, you're becoming a wreck. this needs to stop," dallon spoke, genuinely concerned for josh.

"i'm fine! never been better," josh held his thumbs up and placed a fake smile on his face. the last thing he wanted was for dallon to start babying him more than he already was. staying with josh was enough, he didn't need dallon controlling what he did.

"i mean it josh. you're being self destructive and i can't watch you do this to yourself. we may not have known each other for a long time but i'm the only person in your life right now and i feel like it's my duty to keep you safe."

"no one asked you to be my fucking babysitter!" josh snapped, his voice echoing through the kitchen as he slammed his fists down on the counter. dallon flinched away from josh and his eyes flashed with sadness. josh felt the guilt flood through his body as he looked at dallon. "wait, i'm sorry. i didn't mean it dallon."

"just shut the fuck up for a minute josh," dallon took a deep breath and turned to face josh as he spoke. "if you don't want me to watch over you, fine. i get it. but that won't change the fact that you're not okay and that you need help. so take it or leave it, that's up to you."

"i just don't know how to stop," josh sighed, holding back the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes.

"we'll figure it out. but i'm not letting you leave the house without my permission, got it?"

"okay mom."