next day

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your mother's pov


the next day i came to visit y/n. i heard from mark what happend. ofcourse they had to be at the kbs song festival and bigbang had to promote their song fxxk it.i turned on the tv and waited for it to start in the meanwile i just talked to her. everything from the early days  and then the song festival began. i was watching when they said that theywould come and visit someone that they loved after the show."i guess that is you y/n." it was time for the colab stages and everyone did such a good job at it."did i miss anything." i heard a raspy voice sayt to me. i turned to y/n and saw her sitting up like nothing happend.she smiled at me and asked "can we go to the song festival i want to surprise them ." she spoke like nothing happend  her voice was back to normal. so i nodded ." i will fill in your paper and call kbs." she nodded and i left for the info desk.after a few minutes they where doing some last check ups and let her go and now we are of to the song festival.

y/n's pov

i called my maneger and asked if she could fix a spot inbetween preformances so i could sing something. she quickly said yes and i said that it was a secret only the orginisors can know nobody else. she said yes and hung up. we droped by my house so that i can put on a dress.

eventhough it was a flachy dress i disided to preform a sad catchy song

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eventhough it was a flachy dress i disided to preform a sad catchy song.it was going to be part rap and sung all by me it was going to be chalenging but i knew i could do it.

i arived at the song festival and they quickly put me in a difrent zone.away from the others. i tested my vocal cords . my manager caled me over to come on stage. she gave me a mic and led me to the edge of the podium. i was nervous. i walked on when they anounsed that their would be a surprice gues . i heard people wispering to each other and looked down . this is it then. it's now or never.i hope they like it.

and now the big finale

i ended the song and looked at the crowd they were so happy and had tears in their eyes. then i walked of stage and directly got atacked by huggs from the other artists. i walked with then to the waiting room and listend to shinee.

"this is for a special friend of our's we only just got to know her but everyone in the kpop industie is conected with each other.i only just listend to her band and i realy love it. i heard about what happend to her and her history from before she was an idol. i hope these things wont happen again. we dedicate this song for you ." onew said.

after the song i was crying . it was so beautiful. they came off stage and i gave them a hug. "thank you so much . you don't know what this means to me ." minho came up to me and huged back "it's okay you have us with you now so don't worry like the songs says 'don't cry no more.'" i smiled and thanked then all.

before the awards were over i asked if i could play two more songs."are you sure you still haven't fully recoverd yet." my maneger asked."i know but i need to sing this for them all i need is a band and a mic." she nodded. i got on stage and began to talk." hey guys it's nice to see you again  i'm going to sng one last song for you this is for everyone who ever felt down and cut themselfs  i know i did when i was younger i still have the scares but in my eyes that doesn't make you and emo . it makes you a person .and just to make sure that everyone can see " i held up a botle of water and poured it down on my arms and lower legs.my scares started to show and the camera man zoomed in on them." now you can see i'm not lying so let us sing this song together this is for anyone who ever cut themselves."

We throw tantrums like parties
We're not happy 'til everyone knows we're sick
And that's just how we like it
We've hurt bad enough, right, we've earned it

Don't tell the others but it's all getting old
I mean how many more times must our stories be told?
And being lonely's only fun in a group
It sort of loses its charm when it's true

I meant it when I said I wanna get well, I wanna get well
Are the rest of you so content?
Stay where you are but it hurts like help
And I'm sure it's fun at first
Test your pulse and check your vitals
If it's only a game you lost me
I quit it with the suicidal recital

So now you know all my secrets
I want out, I know I don't need this
Can you find me friends that don't rank me on what I've been through
The more battle scars the more attention it gets you

Don't tell the others but it's all getting old
I mean how many more times must our stories be told?
And being lonely's only fun in a group
It sort of loses its charm when it's true

I meant it when I said I wanna get well, I wanna get well
Are the rest of you so content?
Stay where you are but it hurts like help
And I'm sure it's fun at first
Test your pulse and check your vitals
If it's only a game you lost me
I quit it with the suicidal recital

Yeah we should've known it would end this way
What did you expect, pretend it all away
And all we've got left is a sorry pile of hearts
I'm getting out, gonna write myself a new start
Come on, dry your eyes, meet me on the other side
Run as fast as you can and we'll make it out alive
We know better now, we don't have to live like this
Go tell them all we don't have to live like this

I meant it when I said I wanna get well

I meant it when I said I wanna get well, I wanna get well
Are the rest of you so content?
Stay where you are but it hurts like help
And I'm sure it's fun at first
Test your pulse and check your vitals
If it's only a game you lost me
I quit it with the suicidal recital
If it's only a game you lost me
I quit it with the suicidal recital


after the song they gave me an aplause and some where crying. 

Remember the moment you left me alone and
Broke every promise you ever made
I was an ocean, lost in the open
Nothing could take the pain away

So you can throw me to the wolves
Tomorrow I will come back
Leader of the whole pack
Beat me black and blue
Every wound will shape me
Every scar will build my throne

The sticks and the stones that
You used to throw have
Built me an empire
So don't even try
To cry me a river
Cause I forgive you
You are the reason I still fight

[x2:]
So you can throw me to the wolves
Tomorrow I will come back
Leader of the whole pack
Beat me black and blue
Every wound will shape me
Every scar will build my throne

[x2:]
I'll leave you choking
On every word you left unspoken
Rebuild all that you've broken
And now you know

Every wound will shape me
Every scar will build my throne

So you can throw me to the wolves
Tomorrow I will come back
Leader of the whole pack
Beat me black and blue
Every wound will shape me
Every scar will build my throne


then my brother ran onstage and gave me the biggest hug i ever got from him ."don't ever hide things from me ever again . i don't want you to hurt yourselfs again."he said. i nodded" i won't"

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