after midnight // m.c

5

"So, when's your trip?" Luke asked as we searched through pictures, I shrugged my shoulders.

"Could be tomorrow, or the day after."

"Are you nervous? I mean, there's so many people and that Michael kid," Luke laughed, playing with his hair as he chuckled at himself as a child. "And well, I'll be there too." He added, fiddling with the ring in his lip.

I shrugged my shoulders again, "I guess, I should be okay." I sighed, "I just need to make sure I have no panic attacks," I laughed.

"Look, I'm sure you're going to be fine. Stop worrying, worry about Michael and how you feel about him, maybe try to talk to him." Luke advised, I laughed slightly.

"Luke, have you not been listening to me? The kid doesn't speak." I laughed, feeling myself become hot. "So you're telling me to do something which is utterly impossible."

"Well, maybe it's not impossible." Luke shuffled the pictures together and placed them on my table. I raised my eyebrow.

"You come out with the strangest ideas." I smiled, rolling my sleeves up. "But I'm intrigued," I scooted over to the kettle and poured myself a cup of piping hot chocolate, in the pristine white mugs.

"Maybe you could say something, or even make him laugh. Even a smile would satisfy him, tell him how you became the way you are. Point out how pretty you think the turtles are, or the fish or how they look like the ones from Finding Nemo, anything." He smiled, twisting his lip ring around. "Literally anything will do, don't be scared."

"I guess it's just my confidence issue, and anxiety, overthinking." I explained, sipping the piping hot chocolate, avoiding burning my tongue. "Besides, I'm 100 percent boy repellent."

Luke and I laughed in sync, he shook his head. "Obviously you're not, you're going to be fine. Just don't overthink, or create stupid senarios in your head." He added, "You're going to be fine, stop fretting and worrying your pretty little head."

I sipped my hot chocolate again, placing it in my lap with my hands covering the mug. "I guess so," I rolled my eyes.

"Anyway, it's getting late sis. I'll be there tomorrow, I promise. Get resting, going to need it." Luke winked, I smiled as he started fading into my walls.

Disappearing again.

I was nervous, like 'I'm going to wee myself' kind of nervous. How could I not be? I'm facing my fear of outside and spending practically the whole day with the boy I've been fantasising about for almost 2 years. So, as you guessed I'm kind of nervous.

I couldn't help but overthink about it all, like what I should do with my hair, my make up and what I'm going to wear. Although, it would make no difference to him, I wouldn't know how he thinks - he doesn't speak, so why I worrying?

I pushed the switch to my lamp off, and placed the empty mug on the side, nestling myself into my
covers.

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The mini bus pulled up at the aquarium, it was placed by the ocean - it was a teal colour as the sun reflected off it. I was sat at the back of the bus with Charlotte and Ashton, who did nothing but whisper sweet nothings into each other's ears, making me become a third wheeler. Although, I was hesitant to take my eyes off Michael, who was situated at the front of the bus, isolated as he had his headphones on.

I was curious as to what the boy could be thinking, what goes on in his head. I'm inquisitive about him, I want to ask him every question I have locked up, that don't have an answer. I want him to tells how he feels, or if he shares my hatred for the colour orange.

"Take off your seatbelts," The nurse said, as he strapped outside the bus. We hopped off one by one, standing by the tall male in front of us. "There are going to be a few ground rules for this trip, as you're the most trusted patients." He had emphasised the 'must', which gave me a sense of trust and responsibility. "You will be put into a pair, this person will be your buddy for this and any further trips. The second rule is, you must not leave the group, or your buddy unattended." The nurse sounded strict, he had a piece of paper with some scribbles on it - trudging over to Michael, and then patting his shoulder. "Hemmings," He walked up to me again, I snapped my head up to meet his gaze. "You're with Michael," I felt my eyes widen as he had manoeuvred his way away the whole group.

I peered across the group, my eyes meeting with a set of crystal green ones - Michael's. The figure smirked at me, I fiddled with my fingers and placed the few strands of free hair into my messy fish tail plait. I cautiously sauntered over to him, looking down at the floor as I pushed my glasses up the bridge of my nose.

He was coming across as all smug, when I knew what he was doing. He portrayed the perfect picture of a boy oozing with confidence, but he's broken and need fixing. We all do, is there anyone who doesn't?

I flattened my All Time Low t - shirt down before stepping beside the boy, who was considerably taller than I was. I looked down at my shoes the whole time, knowing he doesn't speak and would say I'm crazy if he could. I was wearing a white band tee, paired with a pair of boy friend skinny jeans and a pair of burgundy vans. I noticed Michael staring at me again, this time
my gaze meeting his, sending a bolt of electricity down my spine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We had walked endlessly around the aquarium, to find ourselves at the big tank full of turtles, which I found interesting. Each pair had gone in their separate directions around this area, along with the team of nurses. "Having fun squirt?" I could of sworn I had seen Luke though the glass, fretting incase Michael had seen my reaction of a minute jump and my eyes widening. Instead I saw his reaction through the pristine glass, his eyebrows were furrowed and his eyes were squinted, showing a sign of worry. "Your friend looks scared, Frey." Luke chuckled, I shot him a glare.

"You're making my seem crazier in front of him," I whisper shouted to Luke, "And I don't find it fair." I felt a tear in my eye, brimming as it felt hot.

"Sorry squirt, I said I would come along. Didn't I? I wanted to help you."

"Well you're not, you're making me seem insane in front of everyone." I said, trying to blink away my tears, "You're just a figure in my imagination." I spat, at the top of my
voice. Making everyone stare at me, I felt a sense of mockery and bewilderment. I saw my brothers reflection in the glass, he looked hurt as he started to fade away. "Luke, I'm sor-" He was gone.

I had trudged to the seating a few feet back from the tanks. I sat down, forcing my knees up against my chest - burying my head into my knees. I felt a warmth of some sort next to me, hesitantly lifting my head up to find the boy with a head of blonde hair with a fading streak of black hair, sitting next to me with a warm smile on his face. I smiled, as he tried to make me feel better. "I'm sorry," I apologised, Michael looked at me and laughed. I giggled along with him, as I felt his padded thumb move under my eye, wiping the tears. "I bet you think I'm crazy, don't you?" I said as I took off my glasses, wiping the tears he had missed. Michael pouted his bottom lip, and shook his head as he gripped the tips of his fingers to the edge of the seats. I smiled at him, I was smiling properly for the first time in almost two years, "Well, I know everyone else does. Why don't you?" I asked, forgetting he doesn't speak. He yanked out a small blue notebook from his pocket, along with a blue pen. He started jotting down some words.

I don't think you're crazy because if you weren't, you'd be boring. No one in our hospital is boring, just judgemental about other patients. I don't find you crazy because we all have a story, a unique story I might add. We wouldn't be us without our quirks or our weird things. I have a lot of them, and I know yours is seeing your brother. I think that's pretty cool, I wish I could see my mum sometimes. Maybe I'd start talking again. I think you're a pretty cool chick, I just think we all have unresolved issues. And I think being paired with each other was a good thing, look at us now.

I found my cheeks burning up at the thought of the note Michael had wrote me.

Maybe it's the start of something new.

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oh god, I'm sorry I took about 9 years to update, I suck so much, hahahah! thank you for all of your feedback, this is a filler tbh, enjoy chicka😊