after midnight // m.c

6

I'm possibly going to delete this, as I've completely messed it up and gone off track. For a new fanfic idea, I kind of guessed at least 50 of my followers - maybe more - like All Time Low ( they're my favourite band ever!! ) I was going to do a Jack Barakat fanfic, as he's my sunshine. Should I? Or is it a bad idea? I know I'm not a talented writer though! leave opinions, thank you!! ily x

It had been 3 weeks since the trip, and I hadn't see Luke. I waited days and days to see him, for him to surprise me and hate me more than ever - it never happened.

I say on my bed, the room was eerie and cold without Luke's presence, and I felt cold and empty inside - almost like a piece of me was missing. I had my knees tucked up to my chest, and my arms wrapped around them tightly. My eyes were darting all around the room to find the boy, to at least feel him there. There was a draft, and the room seemed a whole lot darker without him there, and it was all my fault.

He's my brother, and he's supposed to be there for me. And lately, I've been feeling empty and like I've made everything even worse. Even though, my brothers ghost was only a figure of my somewhat insane imagination.

Without him, I don't know if I can carry on anymore, I'm struggling. And, worst part is, I'm the one who pushed him away. I look over to my sink, placed randomly in my room - my blades, just there, teasing me as the light of my room reflected off them, leaving nothing but a silver glint in my eyes. I shook my head, I can't do it again, I promise Luke.

But, where is he?

When I need him most, he isn't here. Maybe I shouldn't have been so harsh towards him, he only wanted to check up on me, to make sure I wasn't embarrassing myself in front of Michael, guess that plan backfired didn't it.

I turned my head back to my razor, rotating the bottom half towards the wash basin, I sat there for a while on the edge of my bed, wondering if I should really do it. I sat with my head in my hands, just looking at it. Shining, glinting, and most if all - teasing me towards it.

Knock Knock.

I saw a figure at the window, his hair a different colour this time, purple and a strip of black down the middle again. Michael. I smiled at him, as he showed a worried expression towards me, he had his notebook in hand, with a pen. Which I guess was convenient. He gestured me towards the window, I hopped off my bed, and walked with my hands in my curvy hips as I trudged to the window. He jotted down notes as if writing letters were going out of fashion, and fast. He ripped off the paper and slid it under the door, before waving me a good bye, as I noticed the tear in his left eye forming rapidly.

Dear Freya,

I saw you just then, about to pick up your blade. Please, you're far too good to amount to that. And I promise you, I will help you fight this, and everyday when you need someone to talk to, I'm here, by your window, writing notes, in my room - wherever. I just don't want to see you hurt yourself ever again, or see any new marks on your arms.

I don't want to lose two people I care about. Besides, you're the only persons company I enjoy - and I hate people. I think you're an amazing girl, you're very beautiful, and your personality is amazing for someone who is in here, you're the nicest person I know. And, I'm 100% sure if Luke was here, he's be amazingly proud for you not cutting right now, I know I'm proud. Luke should be here, right now, helping you and telling you not to do that sort of thing to yourself anymore, you don't deserve it.

I know how it feels to be on the receiving end of someone who cuts themselves, I should of done more for her, Freya. And I don't want to lose you, I know it seems crazy how we've only just spoken - well, on your part - but I think you're a cool girl and I'd hate for you to go.

I support your decision no matter what you chose, whether you think you're so insane you need to add to your medication or if you ever cry on me, I'll be there for a hug and to write a supportive note like this. Well, maybe better next time, haha!

If you ever need me, I'm in ward C in room 9.

Don't hurt yourself again, please?

Michael (skunk boy) x

After the note, Michael drew a cute cartoony sketch of a skunk, making me chuckle.

This note got me thinking about a few things, mainly that he cared. He seemed to care a lot for me, and he seems to care about how much I look up to Luke and how much I love him, after all, he is - well, was - my brother.

But who was the infamous she? I couldn't help but wonder, I re - read the note over and over, although I still couldn't comprehend what he meant. And, I cared for the kid - I wanted to know what was making him hurt, what he was thinking.

I jumped off my bed setting the note underneath my pillow, and gently shutting the door behind me as I strode out of my room.

------------------

I had finally arrived at Michael's room, he was sat there playing a guitar, looking like he was in his element. I smiled at him as he strummed the strings as he smiled down at himself - one of the most genuine smiles I've seen in this place for a long time.

I knocked politely, as he looked up to me and gestured me in. I stood at the end of his bed after I shut the door, "Thank you, for the note Michael." I smiled, tucking the loose hair behind my ear. He gestured me to sit on the end of his bed, so I obliged and sat daintily at the end. "It made me, well, resist my urges. It means a lot that you care. But, I'm worried for you."

Michael set his guitar down, beside his bed gently. His eyes widened, as if he was shocked almost. "I want to know how you're feeling, I want to know if you're hurting just as much as I am," I felt myself tear up as I looked at him. He ruffled his hair with his fingers, and his eyes were tearing up as he battered the tears away abruptly. "I want to know what you're thinking, I'm concerned. I want to know who the 'she' was in your letter too, I re - read it several times to grasp the concept, I just want you to be okay."

And with that, a bough of silence had rapidly fell across the room. "I only want to help, Michael. I hope you understand that." I sympathised, "We are all in this place for a reason, we are all mentally damaged. All of us, none of us are normal and let's face it, we may never be normal again and we all need each other in this place, we need to keep an eye out for each other. None of us, are okay." I added, tears streaming down my face, and Michaels now. He just looked at me and shook my head, "Well, I'm always here for you. You know that, I have no parents or friends to fall back on, my brother, the figure of my imagination won't even pop into my head anymore, because I cracked and I shouted and I went insane. My parents don't care, about me. I've been here for two years and they've visited once." I get a sense of anger wash over me, as Michael inched closer and closer to me, he stared into my blue eyes and I got lost in his green ones.

He leant in and kissed me, for a moment I didn't kiss back - but when I did, I felt fireworks explode and my mind ask all of these questions. Out lips moved in sync, I could feel the nervousness shared between us as neither of us expected this. The kiss we shared was magical and full of passion, his arms were tied around my waist as he grabbed one of my hands and interlocked his fingers with mine.

Michael pulled away from the kiss, as he still held my hand, and we stares into each other's eyes. All I saw was the smirk on his face that got me captivated each time.