after midnight // m.c

10

It had been 2 weeks, since the visit, and I had endless calls and texts from Calum wanting to apologise, but I never answered them.

Michael, Ashton and Charlotte had tried to see me, but I never spoke, I couldn't find the words to say to describe how down I was or how I could sum up my time in isolation.

Not even my boyfriend could make me talk, and I was the one who made him talk, stupid right? I had countless "What's wrong, Frey?" "Frey, want to come and watch a Zac film? I know he's your number one man crush but me, of course." Luke, the fragment of my imagination which frankly I didn't want to exist any longer, hadn't visited me yet either. Frankly, I didn't want him, or it, to do so.

I looked in the mirror, and I detested what I saw more than usual. My face was paler and my eyes were puffy, from the crying I did. My eyes were a grey colour and my lips were thin as chapped, my hair had turned a lighter shade of blonde and thinner, even the nurses were starting to worry. I had lost my motivation to speak and to even move, the books and films beside my bed were starting to gather dust and the text Calum had sent me I never responded it answered, same for my dad. Even my mum had tried to speak, well, text me and apologise but I didn't want any of it.

Even the nurses were scared for me, because I didn't want to eat anymore and because I didn't greet them how I used to or recite The Fault In The Stars to the ones who hasn't yet read it. The would just leave the little paper pots of tablets and the occasional tabloid story about the band so liked on the sides, waiting for me to read it and hopefully perk up.

"Afternoon my beautiful best friend," I heard Ashton walk into the room. I didn't want to utter a word, "No 'haven't you ever heard of knocking?'" He said, I just looked at him blankly with my knees held against my chest. "You're not gonna speak, are you?" I shook my head again and waited for him attempt to make me laugh. He slumped himself in the armchair beside my bed, that had a floral pattern on it. "Michael misses you, and he told me to give you this note or something," Ashton shrugged as he grabbed a screwed up letter out of his pocket.

"Y-You..why is it screwed up?"

"You spoke, winning!" He laughed, which made me laugh slightly. "He gave it to me like that," He said, Ashton sat up in the seat and fixed his hair.

"No Charlotte?" I asked, I placed the letter down beside mum dust gathering books and turned to Ashton. Ashton shook his head and locked his hands together.

"She's not good," He mentioned as Ashton's eyes filled with remorse and sadness, "But it never lasts long. She's going through a phase, like she does every few weeks or months." He just shrugged, I guess it was usual for him, although I could tell Ashton was holding back a flood of tears. "I don't like seeing her like this, you know? I can't be around her when she's like this, she's mean, she's rude and frankly quite irritable. But, I love her, you know? And I have for just over 18 months. It breaks my heart," Ashton hugged me as he walked to my bed and say beside me. His voice was starting to become over taken by tears and hurt, as it sounded hoarse.

"She'll be okay though, right?" He nodded, and tried to hold back tears.

"Yeah, she always is." Ashton smiled, with his dimples and looked at me. "You need to see Michael you know, he's not having it good either," Ashton stood up and held out his hand. "You're coming with me," He pulled me it of my bed and dragged me to the door.

"I don't want him to see me like this."

"I'm pretty sure he won't care babe," Ash dragged me out of my room and to Michaels room and floor, the place smelt worse than I remembered it did. It smelt of antiseptic and cough medicine.

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"Hi Mikey," Ashton knocked on his door and walked in, he was there how I saw him on the night of the kiss. Wrapped in his covers, playing Pokemon X on his 3DS and quiet. The, now, lilac hair boy looked up to us and half smiled and gestured I sat on the foot of his bed. "Want me to leave you to it?" I shrugged, Michael nodded and within seconds Ash was gone and probably down the hall to go and see Charlotte or his other friends here.

"Hey babe," He said to me, the area around his eyes was red and puffy, like mine, and his eyes were the greenest I had ever seen them. "So Ash dragged you here, huh?" I laughed, "I knew he would. I missed you," Michael spoke against my forehead before kissing it.

"What's wrong, Mikey?" I asked him, he tilted his head to the side and jut shrugged. "You don't know?"

"No, I know, I just don't know why it's affecting me as much anymore." Michael confessed, it must have been bothering him if he was crying, and I intended to tell him that.

"Well, it must be bothering you if you have been crying, babe," I wiped around his eyes and looked at him. He shook his head and just looked at me dead in the eyes.

"Your friend Calum has been in, you know," I averted my eyes to the boy who was sat staring into my eyes, I furrowed my brows. "He was asking how you were and saying he was sorry," Michael said, "He told us what your parents, well, mum had said to you about Luke." I felt myself tear up again, "If I'm honest, she sounds like a bitch," We both chuckled at his remark.

"Just a bit," I joked. "Why are you sad?" Michael shook his head, "You know I'm trying to avert the conversation to you, right? Because you're my boyfriend and seeing you sad makes me die inside," I smiled as I curled up to him playing with his hair, which, was surprisingly soft due to the amount of times it has been dyed.

"And? You're alot more important than me," He kissed m,y hand and picked up a guitar next to his bed and strummed a few chords to what I assumed was Extraordinary Girl by Green Day.

"Please, tell me?" I sulked, Michael shook his head. "You never tell me anything." Michael grimaced as I folded my arms across my chest like the stroppy teenager I am.

"Oh, I never tell you anything?" He argued back, strumming aggressively on the guitar, "Are you kidding me?"

"Says the boy who never spoke."

"There's reasons for that," He fought back, "And there's a reason for my crying, some reasons that don't concern you." Mike said, this was our first argument. "This is our first argument, and you're getting involved in stuff that has nothing to do with you."

"Do you think I care about our argument right now? You're my boyfriend and I'm concerned."

Michael finally gave in, he exhaled sharply. "Fine. You want to know?" He gave up way too easily. "It's been three years since my mum killed herself," He confessed, I was shocked to at the least. "What?"

"I-I just don't know what to say," I expressed, as I got up.

"See, this is why I didn't tell you. This is why I didn't want to tell you, it didn't concern you." He argued again, he shook his head.

"Because I didn't know what to say?" I shouted, as I stepped up from his bed, "Are you stupid? I feel sorry for you, and you're taking it too far."

"Woah, too far?"

"'I didn't concern you.' You're clearly upset and I wa-" I discontinued, "Actually, there's no point in arguing with you about it. I've had enough these past two weeks and you've drove me insane."

"Me? Drove you insane? Pretty sure you're already insane, Frey," He laughed, spitefully. Frankly, it didn't hurt me, because if I wasn't insane I wouldn't be in an institute. "Maybe I shouldn't have tried to make friends with you when other kids were laughing at you, you're like the rest of them." Michael shook his head, as my heart began to break at his comments.

"You're a dick."

And with that, I was gone.

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Sorry I've not updated in about 1939392911 years, but I promise I might update regularly!

I'm also writing a new story, called imperfections and it's a Michael fic too, and that should be up soon!

enjoy, xojade