A Book Of Led Zeppelin

STAIRWAY TRIAL

So hopefully people know that in 2016 (quite recent when I first wrote this) Led Zeppelin had to prove in a court trial that they didn't steal the opening of Stairway To Heaven from a band called Spirit and their song Taurus. As you can imagine, Stairway being their most well known song, this understandably caused a lot of anger amongst fans.

Now, the relief I felt when they won was stupidly high. I couldn't even bring myself to follow the trial in depth because I was worried it would all go badly. However, recently I was reading a Rolling Stone article, called 'Led Zeppelin 'Stairway' Trial: The 10 Weirdest Moments" and I've picked several of my favourite quotes from it to share here.

Firstly, the trial was described I'm the first paragraph as "a cacophony of accusations, evasion, bad behavior, brash lawyering, Mary Poppins and one of rock's most legendary guitarists playing air guitar in the courtroom." I was laughing already. This pretty much set the tone for the whole article. According to the journalist, the trial "quickly turned the civil proceedings into a rock & roll circus." And it was "one of the most contentious, oddball trials in music history."

The lawyer for the Spirit guitarists estate, Francis Malofiy, was described as "if Cersei Lannister were to have a child with Saul Goodman, Malofiy would be the toxic result". Wow, that's quite an accusation. I now also have a deep dislike of this man: at one point, he referred to Jimmy Page as the "alleged songwriter" of Stairway before calling the band "session musicians playing other people's music" in his closing statement.

So many of the questions were just petty too. Robert Plant was asked if he'd played snooker with the members of Spirit at a 1970 concert in Birmingham. He replied "I don't have a recollection of almost anyone I've ever hung out with." Fair enough.

One section in this article was titled "Trial Or Soap Opera" and "At times, the proceedings resembled a trial from Game of Thrones or dialogue from an old soap opera."

And a moment I would've loved to have seen is when a potential juror proudly said to the court "I'm very much a fan: my love for these guys [gesturing to Page and Plant] is very strong." Needless to say, he wasn't chosen.

Another fan actually ran into the courtroom holding a Fender Stratocaster to try and get an autograph from Page before he was thrown out. That must've thrown the opposition a little, rubbing the fact that Zeppelin are legends in their faces without even meaning to.

Number 7 on the list was called "Mary Poppins: Rock Goddess" if that says anything. It was about how a supposedly crucial inspiration for Page during the composition of Stairway was Chim Chim Cher-ee. Page couldn't stop smiling as the song was played to the courtroom.

Throughout the trial, Page could not keep himself from joining in whenever music was played; on the witness stand, he played enthusiastic air drums to John Bonham's fills during playback of Led Zeppelin's live cover of Spirit's "Fresh-Garbage" and played air guitar when the original version of "Stairway" was played. Even during performances of "Taurus" he could not help nodding enthusiastically to the groove. Plant, however, made a sour face and raised his eyebrows when an especially pitchy vocal on an early "Stairway" demo was played to the jury.

And my personal favourite section I'll leave untouched...

"9. Page vs. Malofiy: The Gloves Came Off
Page gave no quarter to the plaintiff's counsel. When Malofiy asked how long the duration was of Led Zeppelin playing Spirit's "Fresh-Garbage" riff during their live show, Page responded, "I don't know - I don't have a stopwatch." During a protracted discussion of Page's musical beginnings, Malofiy ludicrously stated that, in his youth, Page discovered he "had a gift in his ability to play guitar," causing the Zeppelin axeman to snap, "Well, yeah..." Laughter subsequently rocked the gallery."

So there we go, the most entertaining article I've read in a long time. Honestly even though they're almost all in their seventies they still manage to seem just cool. There isn't really another word for it, I mean who else but Jimmy Page could get away with playing air guitar in court, to the song he was being sued over no less? And who else but Robert Plant would be worried about 'pitchy' vocals from 40 years ago during his own trial? Anyone who says Led Zeppelin haven't still got is it is mad.

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Picture: a court drawing from the trial