Will You Find Me?

Nineteen

   It was a month into your pregnancy, and you were already in love with your little baby. Now that you knew there was a good chance you would actually have this baby, you couldn't be happier. Sam and Gabe had moved into the same room, which meant they were getting serious. You were laying in your bed, still feeling a little off because of your morning sickness. 

   "You okay?" Dean asked, leaning on the doorframe of your guys' room. You sat up, squinting a little. 

 "Yeah, just a little off balance. I'll be fine." You explained, leaning back against the headboard. Dean came and sat next to you, moving his face down to your stomach. 

  "And how is our little Winchester doing?" He asked, his voice going all soft like everybody's does when they talk to babies. You chuckled softly, listening as he talked to your stomach. 

  "You're going to be a great dad." You said when he straightened up once again. Your statement made him smile so big that his eyes crinkled. 

  "You really think so?" He asked. You leaned forward, pressing a kiss to his lips. 

"I know so." You murmured and he let out a soft laugh. You kissed once again, this time longer. Until someone cleared their throat. You both looked to see Sam standing in the doorway. 

  "Sorry to interrupt, but Gabriel made us all some pancakes. And don't worry, I made sure they're normal." He said, and you nodded before climbing out of bed. You were actually starving. You followed Sam into the kitchen, mouth watering at the fluffy pancakes on the counter. 

  "Here you go y/n, gotta keep your baby healthy." Gabe said, handing you a plate. You thanked him and sat down, instantly digging into the pancakes. Dean sat in front of you, eating his own. The four of you sat in silence until Sam spoke. 

  "So, what are you guys going to do after Dean's deal is up? You'll have a one-year-old and no other parent." Sam commented, and everyone's eyes landed on him. Sam looked shocked. 

  "Oh my God I have no idea why I said that. It just slipped out. I am so sorry." He apologized, going bright red. You choked back sobs at the fact, not able to speak. 

   "It's fine Sam, you're right. We haven't talked about that yet." Dean said, looking down at his plate. You took in a shuddering breath and ate more pancakes. 

  "Way to go Sam." You heard Gabriel whisper to Sam, and you sighed. You stood up, even though you still had pancakes on your plate and your stomach was growling for them. 

  "I'm not hungry." You said, and Dean stood up. "No, you finish. I'm going to take a shower." You told him, before turning on your heel and walking back to your room. You walked into the bathroom, closing the door and shedding your clothes. You turned the shower on, sobs strangling their way out of your throat. You stepped in, the water mixing in with your tears. 

  "Y/n?" You heard, and you went silent. It was Dean. "Y/n, I know you can hear me. I know this is hurting you, and I hate that. Believe me I hate it. But I did it so I didn't have to live without you. And I promise, once my time is up, you'll be okay." He said. You choked back another sob. 

  "You'll have Sam and Gabe and- and-" His voice broke on the next part, "And our little baby. So please, let's just forget about the deal and relish in the fact that we're going to have a kid." He said. 

  "I can't do that Dean. Because this baby is yours too, and every day we get closer to its birth is one day closer to when you're gone." You replied, leaning against the wall of the shower. You heard a thud from outside.

  "I'm sorry this is causing you pain, but I am not sorry I sold my soul." You heard him say, and he didn't say anything so you knew he must have walked away. You finished showering, taking a break a few times when the crying was too much. When you finally got out Dean wasn't in your room, and you were secretly glad. You couldn't face him right now. 

You changed into a pair of leggings and one of Dean's flannels and crawled into bed. You curled up into a ball, squeezing your eyes shut to keep more tears from escaping. It didn't work. Soon your pillow was soaked. You sat up, sniffling and wiping your eyes. That's when you noticed the note on the nightstand. 

Y/n, 

     I'm sorry I did this. I'll leave you alone for awhile. Don't worry, I'll be back by tonight. I love you so much. 

                                                                              -Dean

You set the note back down, crying even more. Earlier you had been glad Dean wasn't here, but now you just missed him. You laid back down, looking up at the ceiling. 

  "I'll find a way to fix this, Dean." You whispered, "I promise."