Will You Find Me?

Twenty Three

"So we're in agreement?" Dean asked, and you nodded as you rocked your little baby in your arms. 

"Yes, we're naming her Willow Mary Winchester. After my sister and your mom." You said, and Dean smiled at the sight of you and his daughter. Willow yawned, her little nose twitching as she did so. You smiled, your heart melting. 

"I don't know what I did to deserve the two of you, but I'm sure glad I did it." Dean said, and you hit your husband's shoulder. He chuckled. 

"You were the amazing person that you were. You were your charming self, and you hooked me in. This little girl on the other hand, I think it's just because we're being watched over by actual Angels and they decided to give us one." You said, and Dean agreed. 

"Well isn't this cute? I'm gonna barf." You looked up, surprised to see Dixie leaning against the door frame. You gasped, smiling. 

"Dixie! What are you doing here?" You asked, instantly regretting being loud when Willow let out a sob. You rocked her, hoping she'd stay asleep. 

"You think I'm actually going to miss out on seeing this little thing? What kind of best friend would I be?" She asked, and you chuckled. 

"Well here she is. Willow Mary Winchester. Wanna hold her?" You asked, and Dixie nodded vigorously. She walked over, and you put the little baby in her arms. She grinned, holding the baby close. You and Dean shared a glance, smiling at each other. 

"Hey, I'm going to go get in a bath. You okay with her?" You asked Dixie. Dixie looked up at you, smiling. 

"Definitely." She said, and you chuckled before slowly standing up from the bed. Your legs shook, of course they did, you just pushed out a human being. Dean grabbed your hand, helping you to the bathroom. 

"Alright, just sit down." Dean sat you down on the toilet seat, turning to get the bathwater started. You watched, your heart overflowing with the love you had for this man. He was your life, and you had a good feeling you were his. 

~Eight months later~

   You woke up to the sound of crying. Again. You knew babies cried at night, but you were pretty sure Willow did it more than any other baby you knew. It was taking a toll on all of you. Dean, you, even Sam and Gabe. Of course, they were travelling the world right now, celebrating their engagement. Gabe had proposed to Sam, which didn't surprise you in the least bit. As much as he tried to hide it, Gabriel was head over heels for the younger Winchester. 

"I got it." You told Dean, who had just groaned and rolled over. Getting out of bed, you stumbled down the dark hall, following the sound of crying. You opened the door, the night light giving you just enough that you didn't have to turn on the actual light. 

"Hey baby, it's okay. I'm here. Mama's here." You said, picking her up out of her crib and rocking her in your arms. She still cried, squirming. Your eyelids shifted down, sleep getting to you. You hadn't gotten a good night of sleep since- you couldn't remember the last time you got a good night's sleep. 

You walked around the room, swaying her in your arms as her crying slowly, very slowly, quieted down. When you were sure she was asleep, you walked back to the crib and gently set her down. Once she was settled, you placed a blanket over her and trudged back to your bedroom. 

Your stomach dropped as you walked in. The bed was empty. 

"Dean?" You called, looking around. There was no answer, and you couldn't find him. You walked down the hall, calling his name again and again. Still no answer. Then suddenly, you heard quiet music playing. Confusion filling your face, you followed the music. 

Dean was standing in the library, the tables pushed back so there was more room. The radio was turned on, not loud enough that it would disturb Willow. You smiled. 

"Dean, what are you doing?" You asked, crossing your arms over your chest. Dean smirked, walking closer to you. 

"Dance with me." He said, holding his hand out to you. You chuckled and shook your head, taking his hand. He rested his other hand on your waist, and your other one went on his shoulder. The two of you started swaying to the music, too tired to do anything else. 

"I only have seven months left." Dean said, and a cold fist clutched at your heart at the words. You knew damn well how long he had. You were counting down the days. 

"I know." Your voice was barely above a whisper. The music rang out, and you pulled yourself as close as humanly possible to Dean. 

"I'm not saying that to hurt you, I'm just informing you. I have seven months left, and I want to make the most of it. I want it to be the best seven months of your life." Dean said, and you pulled away to look at him. 

"My life? What about you, Dean? It's you that's going to Hell in seven months, not me." You countered. Dean sighed, looking away for a second. 

"But I'm leaving you here with a baby. So with the time I have left, I'm going to make sure you get to have as much adventure as possible. And that's good enough for me. I just want to see my daughter turn one, my brother get married, and my wife get to have an amazing time. Then I'll die, and I'll do it happily." Dean said, both of you still moving to the music. 

"But I don't want you to die. You're the love of my life, and I don't want you gone." You said, a lump rising in your throat. Dean pressed a kiss to your forehead. 

"I know, I know. But I promise, you'll be okay. You have Willow, Sam, Gabriel, and Cas. You'll have so much on your plate you won't even have time to miss me." Dean said, and despite the pain in your chest, you laughed. 

"I'll always miss you, no matter what I've got on my plate." You said, before nuzzling into Dean's chest and continuing the dance. You couldn't talk about this anymore, it hurt too much.