We Could Be

Chpater 6

"We talk about the mechanism of injury, about where it all started, but the truth is, it's sort of a myth. We can't boil every injury down to one single blow. What hurts us is cumulative. It happens over time. We absorb blow after blow, shock after shock, painful hit after hit. But even then, even if we know exactly how we got here, it doesn't mean we can fix it. You can't heal every wound, and that's okay. I have to believe it's okay. I have to believe that even if something seems like it cannot be fixed, it doesn't mean it's broken."
- Sarah Drew, Grey's Anatomy

Jane's Point Of View:

I wake up with tear streaks down my cheeks, and I realize I must've fallen asleep crying. I sit up, roughly wiping away the tears, and look at the floor.
"Janie, breakfast is ready." Ma says, coming in and grabbing my hand. I nod and stand up, walking with my down to the dining room. Pop is already gone, either drinking, working, or screwing some twenty year old blonde bimbo.
"Janie, I'm sorry about last night." Ma says putting the plate of bunny pancakes in front of me.
"It's okay, Ma." I reply taking my fork and stabbing his head, ripping a piece off and stuffing it into my mouth.
"No, it's not. Your father and I- well, we've been fighting a lot more often than we should and I think, since you're the oldest, you should know why." I stay quiet and just take another bite of the animal shaped pancake.
"Your father is having another affair, he confirmed it last night, even though I had my suspicions. Janie, I don't know what's going to happen, but I know that I will not be married to a cheater. This is the second time he had an affair, and I will not have it." She says taking me off guard, causing me to swallow the piece of pancake whole. I start having a coughing hit, with Ma patting my back. I sigh, and nod in agreement with her.
"Get the boys up and go to school. I'll deal with your father."
"Isn't he at work?" I ask taking the last of the orange acidic juice into my mouth.
"No, he's out drinkin' with some of his buddies." I can't help but roll my eyes at the thought.
"See you later, Ma." I say, standing up and walking upstairs to get the boys. I walk into my brother's room. They are both peacefully sleeping, on their separate bunks.
"Boys, time to get up." I say quietly rubbing smooth circles on Tommy's back. He stirs under the covers before opening his eyes.
"Is it time for school?" He asks, and I nod before standing on my toes to get to Frankie.
"Frankie..."
"Yeah, yeah, I know." He says sitting up ducking slightly so he doesn't hit his head. Tommy sits up stretching his arms, letting out a yawn.
"Get ready, we're going in ten minutes."
"But Jane, I gotta do my hair. It takes more than twenty minutes. I gotta look good for the ladies." Tommy says running his hands through his slight quiff.
"Shut up." I say simply and walk out of the door, closing it and walking to my room.
I throw on a plain blue t-shirt, and blue ripped skinny jeans. I finish my outfit with black high top Chuck Taylors. I open my door, and see Tommy banging on the bathroom door.
"Frankie! Open the door!" He screams. Frankie finally opens the door, his black quiff gelled back.
"You better not have used all the gel." Tommy threatens.

Fifteen minutes later, both of my brothers come stomping down the stairs, their hair gelled back.
"Bye Ma." We say and she quickly runs over giving us hugs and kissing our cheeks.
"Don't forget your lunch." She says handing us each a brown paper bag. When we get in my red truck, the smell of cologne fills my nostrils.
"God! Did you guys bathe in that stuff?" I ask, rolling down the window. On the way to school, the boys start whining about my windows being down, saying it was going to mess up their hair. Finally, after listening to the boys complain for ten minutes, I arrive at their middle school.
"Bye boys, have a good day. Make sure you don't miss the bus like you did last week." I say and they hop out of the car, running over to their friends. I drive to my school, stepping out of my car and immediately smelling weed. I slam my truck door shut and start walking towards the entrance.
"Hey, dyke." Joey says, standing in my way.
"Haven't we already been over this, asswipe?" I ask, stomping on his toe.
"Feisty, I like it."
"Let's go." Barry says rushing over pushing me away before things get worse. I clench my fists and focus on controlling my emotions. Barry and I walk to my locker and I slam my fist on the metal door, leaving a small dent.
"Someone is in an unhappy mood." Barry teases.
"I've had just about enough."
"It'll be okay." He says patting my back.
"You know what?! You don't know that! You don't know what's gonna happen! You can't tell the fucking future! Stop acting like everything is going to be okay!" I yell before I walk away. I go to my first period class, where Maura was sitting in her seat patiently waiting for class to start.
"Fuck you, fuck you, and especially fuck you!" I yell, and Maura turns to face me startled.
"Jane, are you alright?" She asks, and I groan, sliding into my seat.
"No. My fucking parents are getting a fucking divorce because my fucking son of a bitch father fucking cheated."
"Well, now that you've repeated the word "fucking" four times, I think you've made your point-" Barry begins, sitting next to me, before I interrupt him.
"And to top that off, I can't be with the fucking girl I like because she's dating a fucking douchebag!" I exclaim, then put my hand over my mouth in hopes that it will completely erase what I just said. Unfortunately for me, that isn't the case, and Barry and Maura both gape at me with their eyes wide. I quickly grab my things and rush out of the building. I jump into my truck and drive to wherever the road takes me.