Slave To Fear

chapter four

When I told Miriam I was going to a party she freaked.

"Oh my gosh you're going to a party??? We have to go buy you an outfit you're going to look so good! And Jack invited you? Ooh girl hes cute! And who's throwing the party anyway? I probably know them. I know lots of people. And do you know what time it is? We need to be ready." She took a breath, "I haven't had a party in a long time."

"Um..." I tilted my head and thought for a moment, "I don't really have any money to go shopping but you can definitely help me get ready."

"Oh honey don't worry about the money."

And that's how we ended up at the mall with at least 5 different bags on each of us. Miriam must've spent hundreds of dollars on me and I couldn't do anything to stop her. I felt terrible.

"Thank you so much Miriam but it's really not too late to return some of these," I told her feeling guilty about the money.

"Do you like the clothes or not?" Miriam asked as we walked towards the car.

I looked down, "yes I like the clothes."

"Then we're not returning them. And that's that."

I sighed and gave in, she wasn't budging and I was too tired to argue any longer.

~~~

I was actually kind of proud of myself. I had gone to the mall earlier that day and I had no panic attacks even though it was more crowded than heck. And now I was sitting at the same table as last night for lunch and I was actually participating in the conversation.

Well if you can call listening and laughing participation...

"Oh you're full of shit," said a boy whose name I had learned was Andy. He had dirty blond hair and eyes almost as pretty as Jacks and he was talking to a girl named Sasha who claimed that he "couldn't get it up" last night. Whatever that means.

As far as I could tell they were dating and they were pretty close.

I continued eating my peas and laughing along as the couple quarreled, even though every time Andy raised his voice at Sasha I flinched a little bit.

I felt a presence slip next to me and was pleasantly surprised to see Jack.

"So we're still on for tonight right?" He asked with hope in his eyes.

"Yes," I answered shyly.

"Great!" his smile was so big I thought his face would break, "Ill pick you up at 8?"

"Sure," I said and turned back to the entertainment with a smile almost as wide as his.

~~~

"Red or black?" Miriam asked.

I didn't even look at what she was holding up, just continued applying the mascara she had told me to put on. Today I had learned that no matter what I said, Miriam would have the final say. "Red."

"Are you blind," she asked with something close to disgust, "definitely black."

"Okay."

She tossed a black dress that looked like it was small enough to fit a five year old into my arms.

"Are you crazy?" I asked making my reluctance heard.

"Just a little," she winked and came up behind me with a brush, "You've gotta look hot! This'll basically be your first impression on the kids here and I want it to last."

I didn't necessarily agree with her point but I knew there was no arguing with her on this so I stood up and grabbed the dress.

I looked her in the eye as I walked to the bathroom, "you owe me."