Always Doesn't Mean Forever: Book 1 (Severus Snape/student)

Chapter 16: All Kinds Of Pain

Severus's P.O.V.

    I walked in my room and slammed the door behind me. Sitting down on my bed I put my head in my hands and thought about what I just saw. I couldn't get the image out of my head. Her kissing that Weasley boy. She looked happy. But I wasn't the one that put the smile on her face. I think that bothered me most of all. She was happy because of him. Not me. I've never brought her anything but grief. I shouldn't be upset. She's moved on. That's what I wanted. Right? No I knew the real answer. I wanted her to be with me. I wanted to hold her and take all of her pain away. I couldn't though. she was fifteen for Merlin's sake! More than half my age! What was wrong with me?! Why did it have to be her? Or anyone for that matter? I would have been perfectly content with living my life the way it was. Then she came into it. She made me feel things I haven't felt in fifteen years. Like what its like to love someone again. I had no choice but to push her away though it was the right thing to do. She deserved someone better. Someone much better than myself. Suddenly I felt a familiar pain in my arm. I pulled up my sleeve to reveal a moving dark mark. He was calling. I walked out of my quarters and to the front entrance of the school. Quickly making my way to the gate I placed a single finger to the mark and was apparated to Malfoy Manor. I walked through the door and up the stairs quickly. when I came to a room full of death eaters at a large table. Voldemort sitting at the head of them. He turned around and gave me a wicked smile.

     "Ah Severus there you are. We've been waiting." I bowed and began to speak.

     "I am sorry my lord. I came as quick as I could."

     "Yes now take a seat." I did as told and unfortunately that seat was next to the second biggest maniac in this room. Bellatrix Lestrange. She sneered at me and I returned it. Narcissa was to my left she gave me a small smile.

     "Now I'm sure your all wondering why I've called you here today. It's the girl. She still resists me. Not only that, but she is learning to block me out of her head. She is crucial to our success. She is stronger than even she knows. If not fighting for the right side she could be our down fall." I could see Bellatrix preparing to say something beside me. Great.

     "My lord surely this little bitch is no match  for your amazing ability. She is nothing me than a little brat." I could see Voldemort's rage in his face.

     "DO YOU THINK I AM MISTAKEN? DO YOU TAKE ME FOR A FOOL?!" Bellatrix cowered down like a little puppy.

     "No of course not my lord I meant only to say-"

     "CRUCIO!" The quiet room filled with Bellatrix's screams. She writhed in pain next to me. When he finally stopped she paused for a minute. Then lifting up she spoke in a cracked voice.

     "Thank you my Lord. I shall never doubt you." Tool.

    "Severus have you been watching the girl as I said to?" I turned to look at him and chose my words carefully. I didn't want to make him mad, but I desperately wanted to turn his attention away from Alex.

    "Yes my Lord I have and from what I have observed she shows no measurable talent." His rage grew more. That was the wrong thing to say apparently.

    "CRUCIO!" Pain surged through my entire body. I leaned against the table hard and bit my lip. I would not scream.

    "Then you aren't looking hard enough!" He yelled while continuing to torture me. The pain was unreal.

    "Do whatever it takes Severus! Don't make me regret giving you this mission. You won't like it if I do!" With that he stopped the curse. But it didn't feel like it. Pain still rippled throughout me. I straightened up and ignored it.

    "Yes my lord." He gave me another wicked smile and continued with the meeting. Narcissa gave me an apologetic smile. She really doesn't belong in this mess. If only her coward of a husband could see that.

    "Now onto other matters. Once again thanks to Potter we have failed in acquiring the prophecy, but I don't want any of you to fret. I have a plan. A fool proof plan that will have him running to me. He will find it for us." There were twisted laughs spread throughout the room. "You all may go. We will meet again soon." I got up from the table and new found pain shot through my legs. I was about to walk out when Narcissa grabbed my arm and pulled me to another room.

    "What is it Narcissa?"

    "I just wanted to know how Draco was. He doesn't ever write anymore." She looked down sadly.

    "Narcissa I pay no attention to my students not even Draco. I couldn't tell you."

    "Alright. I'm sorry Severus. I don't know why I expected anything different from you." I let out a low growl and fled the mansion apparating back to the gates of Hogwarts. Damn Albus. The walk back to the castle would be unbearable. I was right. With every step I felt as if I would fall to my knees in pain. I was making it past the black lake when I looked up and saw Alex. I almost smiled until one of the Weasley twins came up behind her and picked her up. She was surprised at first even apprehensive. Then she saw who it was and all worry in her face melted into joy. I watched the scene walking as fast as I could to the castle. Our eyes locked and she seemed a little upset. Soon the Weasley boy was looking at me too. Then he whispered something in her ear and they both laughed. I could feel the rage burn within me. I walked even faster to the castle. Soon enough I was in and my feet dragged me to Albus's office. I said the password and walked to the office doors quickly. I beat on the door impatiently. Finally Albus opened it. I barged past him and went to a chair he had sitting in the large office. Sitting down was a bit of a relief, but not by much. I exhaled loudly wanting the pain to just stop.

    "Severus. How did the meeting go?" I looked at him. It was unbelievable what he knew at times.

   "Don't you ever grow tiresome of knowing everything Albus?" He chuckled.

   "Not the slightest."

   "It went as expected."

   "So the cruciatus didn't catch you off guard?" I burned my eyes into his.

   "Not the slightest." I said through gritted teeth. He laughed again before pouring a glass of fire whiskey. He walked over to me and offered it. I shook my head. That would be great though. He looked a little shocked, but took a sip of it for himself.

    "So what is the latest news?" I shook my head.

    "Mostly the same, but he knows someone is teaching Alex Occlumency. He hasn't put together that it's me yet I don't think, but it's only a matter of time. And he has a plan. To obtain the prophecy. He hasn't said it yet, but he did say Potter would come to him and find the prophecy for him."

     "We'll have to see to it that that doesn't happen."

     "Obviously."

    "Severus I must say I don't know how much longer I will be here." My head shot up. What the Hell?

    "What are you talking about?"

    "We both know the ministry is trying to force me out of here. It's only a matter of time until they find something to accuse me of."

    "So what do you plan to do?"

    "Well I haven't gotten that much worked out yet. But just so you know all members of the Order are to be at the ready at the first sign of danger."

     "This war is not starting well Albus." He peered out the window for a long moment in deep thought.

      "Do they ever?"