My Favorite Unnie [MICHAENG]

Chapter 10

We dated for almost a year until she decided to break up with me. I didn’t saw it coming. We were so happy with each other, the next thing I knew, she didn’t want me anymore.

“What do you mean you wanna break up’?”

It was the weekend just before her graduation. We just spent the whole day together. Strolling at the park, eating at a restaurant, doing what normal couples do. I was really happy that day, I felt like nothing can ever go wrong. As long as Nayeon’s beside me then everything would be okay.

After going out on a date, she invited me to take a rest at her apartment and that she has something to say to me. I wasn’t suspecting anything so I also wasn’t able to hide my surprise when she confessed that she doesn’t want to be with me anymore.

I was sitting on her bed. Crying. She was standing. Leaning on the wall. Just looking straight at me. Her arms crossed.

“It’s as simple as that Mina, Let’s stop seeing each other.” The warm, sweet voice that I was used to was now replaced by a cold tone. It made me shiver.

“Did I do something wrong?” I decided to stand up and approach her. As soon as I reached out for her hand, she flinched away.

“You’ve done nothing wrong.” She can’t even look at me.

“We’ll be graduating soon Mina, me college, and you highschool. We’ll be starting a new page in our lives. You’re still young, you’ll meet someone new, someone better than me. Besides, I needed to go back home. I’ve decided to build a career there.”

“But to me you’re perfect. I don’t need to find someone new. You’re enough for me. Let’s just make this work okay? Please don’t leave me.” I just stood in front of her. The tears continue to stream from my eyes with no sign of stopping soon.

She walked away from me again. Heading towards the door, she unlocked it. “Don’t make this hard for the both of us. Let’s just end this and just keep our happy memories together while we still can.”

‘Is that why she planned a perfect date for me? Is this the happy memory she wanted me to have? She should’ve just been straight and honest with me. Scrap this bullsh*t date. That would’ve been better.’

I still didn’t want to leave. I can still convince her not to break up with me. But when I looked into her eyes, all my resolve broke down. I took my bag and headed towards the door. I wiped my tears away and left. I didn’t look back anymore.
*****

It broke my heart when Nayeon and I broke up.

'How can one suddenly wake up and not feel the same?'

I can still remember the look on her eyes when I decided to give it up. I can’t see it anymore, I was searching for the same warmth in her eyes, the look that tells me I was her only one, the look that screamed “I love you”. The moment I last looked into her eyes I wasn’t able to see all of that anymore, the only thing I saw was pity.

I guess I wasn’t really that lucky.
*****

A month after breaking up with Nayeon, I saw her again. She was already with someone else. She looked happy. I wasn’t sure if they’re dating, but I saw her smile at that person. It was the same smile she had when her heart still belonged to me.

I hated her. So much. She must’ve met her new girl while we were still dating. For months, I bawled my eyes out. I’m constantly blaming myself for not being good enough for her.

I’m constantly hurting until it became a normal feeling to me. The worst part is, there wasn’t anyone I can talk to. Nayeon was the only friend I had at that time.

 

'How can I tell her my heart is breaking when she is actually the reason for the pain that I’m feeling?'

 

I didn’t just lose my girlfriend, I also lost my only friend, my unnie.

None of my friends knew about my relationship with Nayeon. Even Sana and Momo never knew. I just never brought it up. I’ve already moved on so I didn’t see the point in telling. Chaeng was the only one that knew. The last person I want to want to tell. How ironic.

Eventually I learned to move on and just forget about it. I just woke up one day and she wasn’t on my mind anymore. My heart stopped aching for her which made me thankful.

But I know that a small part of me died when my heart broke. The hopeful part of me. The optimistic part that tells me that everything is gonna be okay. Everything is gonna be fine and that I’ll find love again. It made me a cynic about the whole idea of being in love and being loved.