unhealthy - 2jae

seven - youngerjae

rampage

It's a few minutes later than it should be by the time I reach the nurse's station. I stayed up too late the night before, probably.

I haven't seen Jaebum since yesterday evening and for some reason, I'm looking forward to seeing him. There's this feeling I can't explain. It makes me feel like I have the need to take care of him.

Ugh.

I should keep that a secret from him.

It's around seven in the morning. I'm expecting Jaebum to still be asleep, more or less. I head to the familiar room sixty-three and, like always, knock on the door before walking in. He's awake, contrary to what I expected.

"Im Jaebum," I say, "Good morning."

"Morning," he replies just like usual.

...

"Why do you always refer to me by my full name?"

"Ah..." I trail off without having anything to say.

"Call me oppa," he says playfully with a small grin. I almost slap him with my papers at the spot.

"I'm not your girlfriend."

He shrugs at this and fiddles around with his earlobes. I didn't notice until now, but he has tons of piercings on his ears. He might even have twice the amount of my piercings... and I have three in total. "Then just call me hyung."

I roll my eyes. "Fine, Jaebum-hyung," I say with extra emphasis on the last word.

I finally remember what happened last time I was here to confront this guy. I thought he'd be bringing it up by now, since I did just sprint out of the room, after all. My television self finished my sentence for me...

No, no. Gotta forget about that.

I sit down and look through the papers that I have to fill in. I did a few checkups on Jaebum earlier. The IV bag can come off him soon, but I might just keep it on just to annoy him.

Or you know, just make him want to piss constantly.

"She was lying, you know," he suddenly tells me. I look at him confused.

"Who was?" I put down my papers and actually pay attention to him. He seems to have something interesting to say.

"The nurse girl," he chews on something nonexistent, "She said that her stomach hurt or something, didn't she? And went home?"

I gnaw on my lips and nod my head yes. I'm quiet because I'm amazed at how witty he is. He shouldn't have known that she said her stomach hurt as a lie, unless she was telling the truth.

"Then do you know why she went home?" I ask him, piqued with curiosity. He pauses before looking directly at me, which makes me nervous.

"I told her to get the fuck out and she did. She ran out the room."

I have to think before saying something back to him. I have this thought that Im Jaebum is dangerous and that I need to be careful around him. Is he really, though?

"You threw a flower pot at the first nurse and told the second nurse to get out," I recall, gulping, "Why didn't you do anything to me? To keep me out?"

That sure does the trick for my patient. He grows quiet and appears to be contemplating something. Bringing a hand up to his chin, he rubs it gently. He's rather clean shaved. It looks nice on him.

"Because you're interesting, Choi Youngjae. It's the opposite. I'd want to invite you in." He never smiles at me.

I open my mouth to say something but something outside the room thuds against the wall. Both of us turn to see what was happening; I stand up, just in case there's a need for backup nurses to help out.

It's a patient from the psychiatric wing. He's going crazy, screaming and banging his head against the walls. More and more doctors and nurses crowd around him, trying to restrain him. I don't attempt to help them, though. It looks like they have enough control of the situation. Jaebum and I are silent until the man is carried away after being subdued.

"Hyung, I-"

He's hunching over and holding his face. I can tell something's wrong with him but I don't know what it is. His hands are shaking so much, I can imagine him standing bare in the snow.

"Jaebum-hyung?" I ask him, growing more worried. "What's wrong?"

He screams on the top of his lungs. I'm panicking, and so is he. The other nurses; where are they? Help me.

I try approaching him carefully. He doesn't seem like his usual self. Jaebum notices and with eyes widened in anger, he yells at me:

"Get the fuck away from me, you bitch!"

I'm defeated. I retreat all the way to the wall and I'm holding my stomach. It's gurgling in fear, in fear of the anger that emits from Jaebum.

But not of Jaebum himself.

Someone bursts into the room. It's Mark, and it's obvious that he ran his way over here. He rushes to where Jaebum is and takes a hold of his arms in attempt to restrain him. Both of them are making an effort to overpower one another. I can't do anything but watch.

Jaebum shoots me this expression of grief that makes my heart break.

"Youngjae, help me hold him down! Now!" Mark shouts while Jaebum is in his grasp, still screaming incoherent things. I quickly go to where the two are wrestling and I find myself lost. Where do I hold onto...? I look at his stomach and hug it with all my might. I'm still scared, and it's getting worse as I feel the broad muscles all around Jaebum's stomach and chest clenching.

But he stops, just like that. He goes limp, like he's unconscious. He's still panting heavily but he isn't moving anymore. I don't understand anything of what just happened. Mark places him on the bed gently and makes an urgent face at me. He's panting, too.

"Youngjae, on the top shelf over there- The blue bottle-" I do as he says without hesitation, taking out the bottle. It's filled with pills. "Hand me one and fetch a cup of water, too."

I hand Mark the things he requested and he makes the unconscious Jaebum swallow the pill. I'm clenching onto my shirt without noticing it. He's tossing and turning his head while mumbling on the bed. Is it a bad dream? Bad memory?

Mark walks up to me and looks at me straight in the eyes. He's serious, I can tell.

"Don't leave this room for more than five minutes at a time. Please. I'll have someone check on him later for a close evaluation," he tells me in the most serious voice I've heard from him so far. He leans even closer and talks quietly.

"His stay'll probably be extended. You should be at his side as much as you can... I think there's something about you that makes him feel at peace."

Mark doesn't pat my shoulder and leaves the room. I can hear him talking to someone in the hallway. His words were confusing to me. I step towards the bed and the sleeping Jaebum. There's nothing much I can do so I place my hand on top of his.

He does look peaceful.