10 reasons not to die today

7. Things will get better

Chapter 7. Things will get better.

Tue, 15th Dec 2015

4:30 am

The kitchen

Following my previous meeting with Uncle Ben, I decided to take action as advised by him. I committed myself to write 2 hours everyday. I opened my laptop and literally started writing every morning like that.

For every hour that I dedicated to write, I felt much better about myself. I mean, my writing isn't that skillful yet, but at least my mind is focused on something better than suicide. It felt good to be productive. Yu Jin is becoming better too. She started enrolling in Yoga and uses her free time to engage in volunteering activities. I am so proud of her for pulling herself through difficult times.

When people are lost and confused, it's easy to get pulled in towards negativity. Having a clear purpose in life act as a light that would guide a man through it and serves as a motivation to keep him pushing forward.

And God, by his mercy has descended to mankind a holy book that serves to guide mankind towards the straight path. I've learned from Quran that the purpose of this life is to worship God, and be wary of the Day of Judgment, where each mortals shall receive their book of deeds and their fate is determined; whether to be welcomed at gates of heaven or be thrown into the hellfire.

Understanding this mere fact gives me strength to continue living. Part of my life's puzzle was being solved and I couldn't be more contented. I felt like I am being reborn again, as if I was bring forth from darkness into the light.

The hideous moment that we have gone through does not define who we are. If ever, they come to teach us lessons in life. The history books are full with people who fought back with ferocity for their very existence. Life was never meant to be easy for anybody.

Things will get better. I believe in that. This is as bad as it can get.