I lie in the hospital bed with my eyes closed, pretending to be asleep. I'm exhausted, but whenever I fall asleep I have nightmares and wake up immediately. I just stopped trying at some point, probably a few hours ago.
I suddenly hear screaming, and it sounds like Lexie. I tell myself I'm imagining it; there's no reason for Lexie to be screaming, I'm probably just having another nightmare.
A few moments later, after pinching myself multiple times, I realize Lexie is really screaming.
"Lexie!" I yell and try to stand up. My legs feel weak underneath me and I fall to the floor.
"Help me, please!" Lexie screams between sobs.
I pull myself back onto the bed.
What is going on?
Lexie's room is right across from mine, and my door is open, so I see a nurse open Lexie's room's door and rush inside. Lexie sits up on the bed, awake. Her hair is a mess and her eyes are red and puffy.
"What happened?" the nurse asks. She hands Lexie a cup of water and wipes her cheeks with a towel.
"Nothing, just a nightmare," Lexie replies in a raspy voice. She looks so miserable and depressed. I have to go see her.
I press a button on the side of my bed and hope that it calls a nurse. Sure enough, a nurse comes in a few moments later.
"What's wrong?" she asks.
"I need to go to Lexie's room, the one right there," I say and point across the hall.
"I'm sorry, I can't allow you to do that at 2 am," she says.
"Come on, please let me see her. The last time I spoke to her she was trapped under a plane about to die, and I could do nothing to help her. Now she's having nightmares, and I need to help her because I can," I say, desperate.
The nurse sighed. "Fine. Let me go get a wheelchair," she says and leaves the room.
She returns a few minutes later and helps me into the chair. Then, I am wheeled across the hall into Lexie's room. I knock softly on the door, and Lexie looks up at me, tears streaming down her face.
"Hey," I say.
"Hi," Lexie says.
"Bring me over to the bed and give us a minute alone please," I say to the nurses. They do as I asked.
"Why are you crying, what's wrong?" I ask.
"I-I had a nightmare where you were dead and Meredith was dead and-and everyone else was dead and-" Lexie says before breaking down into sobs again.
I crawl into the bed with her and stroke her hair. After a few moments, she begins to calm down.
"I love you," I blurt out. I can't believe I said it, just like that, but it's true.
"You don't have to say it just because I said it," Lexie says.
"I'm not saying it because you said it. I'm saying it because it's true."
I kiss her for the first time in forever, and I feel the connection we've always had again. I put my arms around her and we fall asleep tangled up together.
