When we got back the CT results, we discovered that Ava has a brain bleed.
"We have to go in and fix it right away," Derek insists as we walk down the hall to tell Ava the news.
When we reach her room, there is a man in the room. He looks a few years older than Ava, and they look really similar. The same hair color, thin nose, and blue eyes. He is sitting on the edge of her bed, laughing.
"Ava, who's this?" I ask as Derek and I enter the room.
"This is Julian, my brother," Ava says.
"Yeah, I'm her older, smarter, nicer, hotter older brother," Julian says.
Ava punches him playfully. "He's also more humble, in case you couldn't tell."
Seeing the two of them like that makes me wish my relationship with Meredith was more like that.
"I hate to ruin the fun, but your CT results showed bleeding in your brain. I need to operate right away and stop the bleeding, otherwise you'll risk further damage," Derek says.
The mood in the room suddenly becomes grim.
"Okay, well, do what you have to do," Ava says. Julian grabs her hand and she smiles sadly at him.
"How risky is this surgery?" Julian asks.
"Every surgery has risks," I say.
Julian nods. "Well, if this is the best option..."
"It is," Derek assures him. "A nurse will come in to prep you for the surgery in a few minutes."
Derek and I leave the room.
Two hours later, Derek and I stand over Ava's head, her brain exposed. The surgery has been going smoothly so far, but suddenly Ava's brain begins to swell uncontrollably. Derek lets out a sharp breath. He checks a machine that monitors brain activity and curses. I look over at it too and see that there is no brain activity.
"Call it, Grey. She's brain dead."
"Time of death, 11:47," I say. I look down at the floor. Ava was such a sweet girl, and Julian will be devastated.
A few minutes later, Derek and I go to the waiting area to tell Julian what happened. He stands up when he sees us walk over.
"How is she?" Julian asks. The hope in his eyes almost makes me cry because I know that I'm about to crush that hope.
"The surgery was going well until Ava's brain suddenly started swelling. There was nothing else we could do. She didn't make it," I say.
Julian sits back down. "She's dead?"
"I'm so sorry Julian. We did everything we could," I say. It's becoming harder and harder not to cry.
Julian nods. "I know. Thank you, for trying."
"Of course," Derek says.
"If you'd like to see her, we can let you know when she's ready," I offer.
"I would like that," Julian says.
"We'll let you know," Derek says.
As Derek and I turn around and walk away, I can't hold back the tears anymore. A whimper escapes my mouth and Derek turns to look at me. Tears are streaming down my face. He stops me on the side of the hallway and hugs me. I begin to really cry, the sobs shaking my small frame.
At first I didn't understand why I was so emotional, but now I do. This young girl was in an accident, like me. She was in much better shape than I was, but she died and I lived. I suddenly understand how lucky I am that I survived the plane crash, and how close I was to dying.
