desolation° taeyong

// chapter twenty-seven

"I love you."

I hugged her as tight as I could but he she seemed like resisting instead of returning the embrace.

"Taeyong?"

She once again said my name but this time, her voice changed, the feeling changed and the atmosphere changed. She was suddenly unfamiliar to me. So i stepped back, held both of her shoulders, gently pushing her away from me. I forcefully shut my eyes tight and opened it again.

"What's wrong?"

It wasn't hana who was in front of me. It wasn't hana whom I said i love you to. And it wasn't hana who's in my arms. "The heck what's going on? Why are you sweating so bad?" She said, exasperated.

Maybe because my eyes are so tired that I begin to imagine things already. Haluccination has always been my enemy. They make me believe something which isn't really here, to be here.

"J-jennie? What are y-you doing here?" I stuttered as the elevator doors finally closed. "My little sister got confined--Tae why are you like that?" She replied with furrowed brows.

"Y-you're not hana," I continued. "Of course I am not. C'mon. You don't have to rub it in my face that you really love her--wait what's wrong? Did something happen to her?!" Jennie exclaimed with perturbation. "Taeyong?!"

"I don't know! That's why I am looking for her!" I then abruptly pressed the floor number on the elevator while tears are starting to build in the corner of my eyes. "Taeyong. You know panicking will only make things worse. We don't know what will happen to you. So please chill out." Jennie patted my back to ease me with a worried expression. "I may be a bitch sometimes but hana is my friend. So let's be calm and tell me what the heck is happening."

"You're out of this Jennie. Let me handle my own life."

Once the elevator signaled that we've reached the ground floor. I hastily exited, leaving jennie behind.

"I still have to find her."

Exhausted, I try to pin my hands on the walls, trying to catch my breath without feeling the extreme combustion in my chest.

It's snowing hard but my entire body is so warm and burning.

"Hyung!"

Mark's voice echoed through the empty walls. Spinning in flounder, i try to find where It came from.

"Where is--"

"T-tae?"

Hana was being pushed by mark in a metal steel wheel chair. She was in a patient's gown yet she looked absolutely perfect. Her face had prominent bruises and her arms were full of lacerations.

"Hana--" I hurriedly shuffled my way to her with my knees about to crash to the ground and when I was half a meter away from her, I noticed her nudging, gesturing mark to turn around.

"Chamkaman--" I said, reaching out for her.

"Shut up Taeyong. Don't be pretentious," She said in a very genuine and soft voice. "You've caused me a lot of trouble already." She added as tears escaped the corner of her eyes.

"Be thankful there were no complications if there were then you would--"

I interposed hana by kneeling in front of her, laying my hands on her lap, burying my head against it as tears fell out of my eyes.

Heaving a deep sigh, i swallowe the lump in my throat as I felt my lungs exploding in weary. "Mianhe mianhe mianhe mianhe mianhe m-mianhe mianhe mianhe mianhe mianhe--"

"Hana please tell me you're ok now. Please tell me you're fine. Please tell me everything I need to know so I wouldn't be stuck being scared because I'm so tired of being afraid already. H-hana you're my strength yet why do you m-make me weak?" I said in a muffled voice, barely understood.

"Hana i didn't mean any of this to happen. You know didn't. You do know right? You do know how much I love you right?" I added.

I didn't expect any positive response from her at all. I prepared myself to be hit because after all, I deserve it. I shut my eyes as I felt a gentle propell on my head. Instead of feeling a strong impact, I somehow felt at ease the moment she brushed my hair with her clammy fingers.

Her other hand was caressing my back, endlessly stroking it to calm me. I heaved my head a little to see her front and the only and the very thing I saw the moment I did so were her cruved lips and briny tears on her face. Guilt, afterwards, ate my entire existence once I've seen her smile because the only thing i've given her was anguish and nothing else yet she effortlessly dares to make me flutter.

"S-saranghe." She whispered as she rested her chin on my head. "Nado jeongmal saranganeun" i answered, giving her a tight embrace.

"You can't leave me again. You shouldn't have even left in the first place either because you're barely the only person whom I can run into."  She crooned in a hollow voice.

"Han?" I aksed which lightly startled her.

"Why do you always make my heart feel like blaring out of my chest? I don't even know if it's normal with my condition but if it is, i want you to be by my side all the time and continue to make it pound like this even if it hurts me so bad"

--

MY STOMACH HURTS WHILE WTCHING NCT LIFE HAHAHAHAHAHAHA CHENLE IS SO QT AND RENJUN IS JUST SO PRECIOUS I WANT TO HUG JENO SO BAD AND JWOSBWISJE JISUNG IS SO QTTTTTTTTT AAAHHH SOMEONE STOP ME

Anw, I AM SO DISAPPONTED WITH MYSELF I DON't EVEN KNOW WHAT I AM WRITING HAHAHAHAHAH IDKNIF THIS IS GOOD NEWS OR BAD NEWS BUT JUST A CIUPLE OF 2-3 CHAPTERS I WILL BE ENDING DESOLATION!!!!!