The Tudor Witch Book 1 Mistress

1524 Autumn (New insert)

His strong arms take mine, and he effortlessly leads me along to the music. He is a skilled dancer with great poise and grace. Personally, I think he enjoys the closeness of it all, a chance to place his hands on his partners, depending on the dance it can range from hand-holding to resting on the shoulders, even upon the waist.

I shiver when his breath comes close, blowing on the sensitive area upon my neck. He does it on purpose and with my hands clasped in his I can do nothing but endure the sensation, and try to control my racing heart which seems to be pulsing faster.

I do not want to have any feelings towards the King. Yet, my body has begun to have its own reactions to his presence, my beating heart, and blushing cheeks being only the beginning. I am confusing myself with these feelings, which have sprung forth without my permission so quickly.

"You are a bit distracted tonight, Katherine," Henry says, more a statement than a question. 

"Just tired, it has been a long day," I reply swiftly keeping my thoughts to myself.

He is satisfied with the quick response never one for conversing too long on the problems of others, his mind jumping from one thing to another so quickly that it only leaves room for his own worries and entertainments. 

My eyes dart across the grand hall taking in the courtiers who are present tonight. This scene is not a new one for them. The king has been asking for my hand in the dances since summer, and all those that like to gossip have nothing new to see. 

Although I may be old news to most, there are a few among the court whose eyes I can feel watching. The Queen's cold gray eyes always find their way to me, I can sense her glancing now and again from upon her dais. Then there are master Ashleys, those deep hazel eyes which can only watch from a distance as I dance hand in hand with the King. I know he is here tonight, watching from some hidden corner out of sight. He has distanced himself from me, seeing the Kings desires for me come to fruition has sent him scuttling away into hiding.  

I leave for my rooms at an appropriate time, not wanting to appear too eager to stay until the end. The King bids me farewell fondly, and with the utmost rules of modesty for someone who is married. It is a ruse for the court, to make us appear as just fond acquaintances but they know and so do we, that there is much more bubbling underneath the surface of it all.

I walk into the Howard chambers expecting to see no one at this hour and am shocked when I see Master Ashley sat at the large table with Anne at his side. It brings me to a halt, I can sense the conspiracy in the air. "What are you two doing here, together, at this hour?" I ask pleasantly although feigned.

"Waiting for you," Anne replies pointedly. "Be quick." She says towards John before heading into her own chamber.

I stare at her my mouth agape as she leaves swiftly, before turning my gaze to John. "Is everything well? I have not seen you recently. I feel like you have been avoiding me." I say earnestly moving towards a chair.

"Do not sit, Katherine. What I have come to say tonight is not easy and I will not be here long." He says quickly.

I stop mid-stride. I knew the two of them together was bad news. "Then tell me what you have to say," I say evenly.

I can see him take a visible gulp of air as if the words were catching in his throat. " I have spoken to Mistress Boylen for advice, concerning what has fallen between us in the past. And.. " He coughs catching his voice. "And, I believe that is what it should be. The past. It was a lovely thing we shared but in truth, it was flirtatious fun and nothing more." He finally spits out.

I run my gaze over him. "Flirtatious fun," I say sarcastically, for I know he does not mean it.

He at least has the decency to break away from my penetrating gaze. "Exactly. Nothing serious can ever come from it, so I am ending it once and for all."

"And this is Anne's advice, is it?" I ask.

"No. It is my view on the matter and she only leveled that I should tell you before I leave." He replied.

"Leave! And where are you going?" I say in part shock, part outrage.

He turns his gaze back towards me, his eyes growing softer. "I can not stay and watch you dance with the king every night, knowing that soon there will be much more to the encounter. I am leaving to find my place in this world, find a place for myself." He replies earnestly.

"You are going to find wealth or raise your station," I say knowing his mind.

He nods and I understand his unspoken words. He still wants me but can not bear to stay here and watch events unfold. He will go and try to find fortune and will return to me in the future or if he fails I will not see him again and should move on with my life.

"Will you write to me?" I ask.

He shakes his head from side to side. "It would be too dangerous, but I will keep my ears open for news at court." He says simply.

I hear a creak of a door and turn to see Anne returning. "It is time, others may be coming back soon. Come to your chambers, Kat." She says towards me.

I look once more upon John, taking his strong features, and I can feel tears building up behind my eyes. "Farewell, John," I say feeling like this is the last time I may ever see him.