The Tudor Witch Book 1 Mistress

1525 Summer

"Has the King returned to his chambers or is he still in the grand hall?" I ask.

The sideways glance, although quick and designed to be subtle, is telling by nature, informing me of unrest, raising my suspicions. I am normally admitted with ease. I have never been met with resistance and yet tonight there is no movement, no hastening action to let me in. I find it only leaves a questioning silence, filled with embarrassment and awkwardness on both sides of the exchange. I am not naive, well, nowhere near as much, as people would like to believe, their silence is damning enough. If Henry was still in the grand hall, they would simply say so, but their meekness reveals all, it is exactly as I feared; he is with another.

I glance towards the door, wishing I had the power to see through the hard set oak. It would only be a torment, for I know it would only reveal what I had already envisioned in my mind's eye since Marys return back to court. Old lovers reunited, passionately entangled across the four tier bed, I almost think I can hear her giggling.. it is too much. "Tell the King, I wished to see him and was disappointed that he was otherwise engaged," I say steadily biting the urge to say it in a completely different manner.

One of the guards nods quickly. I believe he wishes me gone, only to protect himself from the King's anger should I stay and insist on being admitted. He is lucky that I am not inclined to make a fuss tonight, I do not sway to furry but instead, I can feel the tears building up within me and know soon that I shall be a monsoon of emotion. I turn and walk away. It is all I can do, I have angered Henry and this is my deemed punishment. I hate him.. but I do not. I hate her, for I know it is Mary, she has been like a harlot - throwing herself so publically and in such a wanton way - and it is all in revenge. What do I do now? What do I tell William? I am with child, I have the power but at the same time, I have lost everything.

-x-x-xx-x-x-x

The night was bleak and the day only worse. I poured my truths onto my husband, all my fear and my loss. I cried into the early break of the day knowing that I had l lost my beloved Henry to another. William to his credit did nothing but hold me close and let me weep my sorrows into my already sodden pillow. He did not chastise me, nor show me any anger in revealing the true extent of my feelings for Henry. I think in my sorrow a new bond was formed, not love, but a mutual fondness and respect for a man who I hardly knew, but had been nothing but kind. His kindness gave me comfort throughout the night and his strength helped me through the humiliation I knew I would soon endure.

The looking glass portrayed a sad display, a white-washed wraith with sunken red eyes. If I wished to have Henry back I could not go into the throng of the English court looking like this. "I am at a loss, William," I say softly.

"If you wish him back you will have to bite your tongue and forget about last night, banish it from your thoughts." He replies.

It is far easier said than done. I swivel around to face him and pause involuntarily as I come face to face with his bare chest. Taken off guard at his close proximity and state of dress, I find myself lost for words. He is sculptured finely for an ageing man, hard panels and strong sinew. I can feel a flush to my cheeks as I take him in. "Katherine?"

His voice snaps me back to reality and I blanch at being caught out in such a lude imagining. He smiles knowingly and it is clear that he is enjoying my obvious admiration of him. I turn my eyes hesitantly away. "I will find it hard to keep my disdain hidden," I reply breaking the stretching silence. 

"Well then, you must become better at playing court or you will lose everything. Henry is changeable in his moods but chastise him and he will not forgive you, just look at the Queen." He replies.

"The Queen? She is his wife and will always be loved and favoured by the King. She is just too old for him now, and he is a man in his prime with a healthy appetite that she would find hard to satisfy." I state.

"Really is that what you truly believe?" He asks.

I eye him with a smirk on my lips. I have heard the stories the same as everyone else. I have heard of their old time love and the fondness Henry had for the princess of Spain whom he saved out of love and raised to the Queen of England. Their love was a romance novel, ebbed with so much affection that only time could separate their desires, but there was still love. "I have heard the tales, they reoccur in enough poems," I reply.

William chuckles, it is not serious laughter but a sound a parent makes towards a naive child when they voice something foolish. "I have grown up with Henry and have witnessed first hand the love he bore for his Spanish Queen. Time, disputes, and the passing of their children marred their marriage. Her persuasion on Spanish policy and insistence on faithfulness turned him sour towards her." He says.   

"I may not like her, but I have only ever seen pleasantries between them both," I add.

"Aye, they are the King and Queen, they must portray a blissful union. The plain truth is that she pushed her father's policies when she had power, chided Henry for his affairs and has failed in her most sacred duty in providing Henry with a male heir and in doing so lost his love. Do not be simple-minded and do not copy her mistakes." He warns.

I gape like a fish. "I am with child, the King's child. Henry will forgive me my behaviour." I reply thinking that I am not the same as the Queen and would in no way, follow her path.

William grimaces. " A pregnancy is the most fickle occourence, in no way is it a certainty. Do you not think the Queen felt the same way in her many conceptions. It is a changeable affair and although I am a betting man the odds are too unpredictable, with birth, and the desired sex. Do not place all your hopes on a growing child, be clever first and foremost." He states.