The Tudor Witch Book 1 Mistress

1525 autumn III

There is peace here, a serenity, and somehow that is not enough. I can not hide in my exile in peace, meek like expected. I am here through Henry's fear, Mary's manipulating and my own naivety. I knew when Henry spoke the words to me, that the fury inside of me would need an outlet and I had decided then and there what that outlet would be. It is only now looking at the thin volumes, do I lose my courage. What was I thinking taking my mother's literature with me?

"Foolish girl," I say to myself.

It had been rash on my part, but Anne could not withhold what was mine when I demanded it from her, and I think a part of her wanted me to learn. She wants me to understand her views and share in our forbidden heritage. Anne did not refuse my request but had complied too easily with no usual Anne demanding questions, just that gleam to her black eyes.

I pick up a volume with shaking hands, and run my fingers over the plain brown binding. It did not look special, it looked plain, boring, and somehow I could feel my eyes slipping away from the cover - as if, to move on and forget this book entirely - it was an odd sensation and I found myself complying, almost placing the book down. I shake my head clear, and find the feeling has passed, I glance back at the book and notice words written clearly that I had not noticed before.

Adepts guide.

I open to the first page and run my fingers down the scrawled text, it was readable but in a rougher hand than mine, and old, but I could not tell how aged.

To study and reach accomplishments of the highest magical level.

I sigh and close the book. That sentence alone could get me burned as a witch. Putting the book down I pick up another item up from my bed, a small necklace made from a thin cord with a small metal amulet on the end, embedded between the metal was an orange stone no bigger than my little fingernail. I eye it curiously, I could never have worn this meagre item at court, it would have looked dull compared to the splendid jewels I had adorned but I had a feeling that this item contained more power than anything I had ever worn, no matter how plain.  I debate whether to wear it upon my person, but realise I do not dare, what if others know it's meaning: I do not even know it's purpose.

At last, I look at a small set of twin bells, tiny in size and capped so they can not produce any noise unless I wish it. I do not have the slightest clue what they are for. Eventually, I move the items into my personal chest. It takes a good tug of force to remove the bottom panel, but once achieved I place the items inside carefully before replacing the fake bottom back into place. It should be safe enough there until I have more time to learn, but for the moment, I am still unsure to the comings and goings of the servants and this is something I have to be very careful with.

-xxxxxxxxxxxx

A month passes swiftly, and me and William have found a regular routine. When he is at home we dine together and engage in small talk, he has slowly come back to his usual laughing self, he is taking this time away from the court to survey his properties and tenants while I stay put, slowly treading the water of my heritage.

"They say the harvest has been good this year, the winter should be easy to see through." William says to me as we sit by the fire.

I smile pleasantly at his small talk. I know little of tenants and properties, I have been shown how to run a house in books and numbers, but as of yet, it has been a skill unpracticed. William perhaps does not view me as a true wife, he is happy only to indulge me in stories and says he does not require any of my help in running house and home. Normally I would take this as a personal slight, but it only allows me freedom to do my own learning.

The nights are getting dark and the cold weather is beginning to seep in again. I am finding it tricky to go outside without a valid reason. They all know I am with child and a Lady of my station and predicament should not be subjecting herself to the harsh elements. It is frustrating because everything I have read so far in my books is so tightly knit with nature and the elements, that I can hardly practice without going outside. Being inside is like a block to my mind, making everything I practice a slow process. I am also aware that as winter dawns so does everything else. I only have about two months left until I am due, and I am noticing it. My bump is noticeable to all for what it is, my dresses have been let loose, and my own body is constantly fatigued. It is also nearly the end of October and an important Pagan day, Samhain fast approaches, it will most likely be my last chance to really practice before I am shut up behind closed doors until my new babe enters the word. After that, I have no idea what my freedoms will entail, for Henry said I would return to court and I am not foolish enough to pursue this learning there. 

"Has Henry sent over a midwife yet?" I finally ask. The question had been in my mind for some time, as babies can arrive late and others early and this is a King's child, he is cutting the preparations close to timings.

"I thought all matters where taken care of?" Replies William so diligent in most concerns but not that of his wife and future-ward.

"No. They have not. I am starting to worry, I will need assistance, I can not birth alone and should not have to as a lady of my station. I should have ten midwives!" I retort.

A snort of laughter escapes William. "Ten you say! A bit excessive do you not think? You are not a Queen." He laughs.

It does not make me laugh though. " A lady who is giving birth to a child of a King." I pronounce slowly. I might-as-well-be a Queen, for it is royal blood in my unborn child's veins.

"Fair point, I shall write to his majesty." William says.

"Tilly mentioned a renowned midwife in Upper Tysoe, it is a village not far from here. I would like to enlist her in the mean time, just in case." I say.

William rubs his hands close to the fireplace, it gives him time to think no matter how obvious. "Is that wise? Hiring a village midwife? Like you said, it is the King's child, this woman will not have handled anyone of your station before, what if she does something wrong?" He asks. 

I tut in annoyance but am secretly glad he at least has some interest in my well-being. "It does not matter my station, birthing is difficult and if my babe comes early and the King has forgotten to send me an appropriate midwife by then, then I will be thankful for any help. Unless you wish to take care of the labour in her sted?" I say evenly.

Williams face blanches. "Fine, go enlist your midwife. However, when the appropriate help arrives from Henry then you shall send this other woman back to her village. I will not be responsible for miss-handling this situation." He says straight.

I am about to laugh at his abruptness, but then a thought catches me. His last wife died in childbirth and I had forgotten this fact until now. My jests, although for humour were not in the best of taste, especially since he had lost one wife to chid-birth.

"It will be fine, William. Me and Tilly will walk to the village tomorrow, it is not far. Write to the King for me, I am sure he will send the correct care, then everything will go as planned." I say reasuringly.

He leans back into his chair and nods his head in satisfaction. I have at least alleviated his worries, but no matter how I hide mine, they are running rampant through my mind. Henry clearly does not care about me or our child and I must now start looking after my own interests: No one else will.