His Queen, Her King: Cartman x Reader Story

The Kiss

Kyle frowned as he stared down at his arch nemesis holding hands with his cousin as they sat on their knees in front of his throne. He was not at all happy about Cartman being able to defeat his army and rescue (Name). But, it proved that he was willing to go through hell for her, and that was what Kyle wanted.

"So," the Elf King began, breaking the silence in the room. "it seems that you have bested my army, Cartman."

"Yep." Cartman grinned proudly.

"Of course, that means that you are allowed to date my cousin, (Name)."

"Cool."

"If she agrees, of course."

"Uh-huh."

"And, don't think that I'm not gonna check up on you two and third-wheel some dates."

"As long as you pay for those dates."

Kyle glared. "You aren't in any position to make any demands here."

(Name) jumped in. "Kyle, you have to give him something. You've made your demands, and he's agreed."

"I understand that, (Name), but, he could start using you to get the upper hand on me. He's been ridiculing and harassing me for years!" Kyle stood from his throne and pointed at Cartman, who watched him with wide eyes. "For all we know, this was all just some trick to make me feel like I lost!"

Cartman stood up and stomped over to Kyle, poking him in the chest with his finger. "Listen here, Jew boy! I would never resort to such a lazy and half-assed scheme. I don't mess with your family. I've never bothered your brother!"

"You constantly call my mom a bitch!"

"Well, then, tell her to stop acting like one!"

"If (Name) acted that way, would you treat her the same way you treat me and my mom?!"

"How am I supposed to know?! That's a complicated question!"

"It's yes or no, idiot! Just answer! What, are you afraid she's not gonna love you anymore if you answer honestly?"

"Kyle, you're really pushing boundaries here."

Just then, Stan popped his head into the tent. "Kyle? What's going on?"

Kyle went over to him and pointed back at Cartman. "This asshole is trying to run things when I'm letting him off with just a warning."

"Yeah, and a list of demands. Which is bullshit, by the way!" Cartman shouted, crossing his arms. 

"Well, if you won't listen, then forget it! You no longer have my permission to date (Name)!" Kyle turned away in anger and started walking out of the tent. 

Cartman stared at him for a moment before following after him. "Hey! Hey, you can't do that! I won, fair and square!"

(Name) got up and followed after them, pouting. Butters ran over to her once they had gotten out of the tent. "What's going on?"

"They're both on their man periods and it's pissing me off." She answered bitterly. 

The two boys argued with each other all the way to the house. Kyle shut the sliding door behind him and stuck his tongue out childishly at Cartman when he, not paying attention, ran into it. The Wizard King growled under his breath and threw his fist against the glass. However, he groaned in pain and pulled his hand back, waving it around in the air to sooth the stinging. 

(Name), followed by Butters, New Kid, Kenny, and the others, followed after them as well. The two boys began bickering once again, and it even began to get physical when Kyle started pushing Cartman back as they argued.