Don't Forget That I Love You (Jamilton)(Republished) (Unedited)

Two

Thomas POV
I sit and watch as Alexander runs into his room bawling. John must've meant a lot and I suppose it's my fault he's gone. I was gonna have a Tinder date over but know isn't a great time. With a sigh I go to his door. I knock.

"Got you some coffee." I say softly. No response. I gently open the door and not find him. I knock on the bathroom door where I hear sobbing. "Hamilton? Are you okay?" I ask. I hear him jump and something metal clatters to the floor. Gently I try to open the door. He presses all his body weight against it.

"Please leave me alone." He says with zero energy.

"Okay." I respond and walk into the living room. With a sigh I flop onto the couch and turn on Heathers, the movie. A couple minutes later he walks out sniffling and in a different shirt. With a frown I go back to watching TV.

"What are you frowning at asshole?" Hamilton snaps.

"N-nothing." I say and lock my gaze on the TV. After a while he sits down next to me to watch the movie. When any Heather enters he goes 'oh look, it's you.' Towards the end I feel his head on my shoulder and gentle snoring. I play with his hair and kiss his forehead. Pausing the movie, I pick him up and carry him into his room. Quietly I go into his bathroom to; one, use it, and two, see what clattered on the floor earlier. After doing my business I look around and in the medicine cabinet I find a small silver blade. Dried blood 'decorates' it.

"Jefferson, what are you do-" he gasps when he sees what I'm holding.

"Roll up your sleeves." I growl.

"Thomas it's not-" he begins. I cut him off.

"Now, Alexander." I growl. Whimpering, he rolls his sleeves up revealing bloody strips of gauze. Gently I peel them away and see scars littering his arms, as well as fresh cuts. He's crying like crazy as I stare at his arms. I know it is my fault he's this way.

Alexander POV

I'm deathly afraid as the tall man stares at me with a ever darkening gaze.

"Alexander. Why?" He says in a low voice.

"Y-you." I croak in between loud sobs. He cups my face with his hands.

"Don't ever hurt yourself again. Your friends need you. Mr. Washington needs you. Hell, I need you for something." He hisses. I nod, knowing it's a promise I can't keep. He takes the blade and shoves it in his pocket, clearing my medicine cabinet of anything I could use to hurt myself. Then he clear the room of sharp object and rummages through all my things. He even locks the knives in the kitchen and a cabinet. Shit. Thomas basically baby proofs our entire dorm, making sure the only way I can hurt myself is by actually committing suicide. I would never do that though, John would be very upset if he was alive and I did it. I lay down for a nap.

I'm back in the forest, but younger. John is underneath me passionately kissing me. I remember this spot. We giggle and hope no one finds us out here. But halfway through our routine Thomas Jefferson walks to us. Luckily only my shirt is off.

"Hey fags." The tall asshole says. He snatches up my shirt.

"What do you want Jefferson?" I groan standing up. The scene changes and I'm in a cell with Thomas.

"You promised me Lexi. You wouldn't do that shit. Not anymore." Thomas says. I feel blood running down my arms.

"What?" I murmur.

"Now they're gonna find us. They can smell the blood." He growls. The scene changes again. My biological father and Thomas are with me. My father beats me.

"Thomas. H-help." I whimper.

"Why should I help you? Huh? All you do is break promises and lie!" The man screams. My dad turns into sand. Suddenly we're back in the forest and Thomas has me pinned to a tree. But my arms are around his neck and we're passionately making out. Neither of us have shirts and my pants are halfway off. But his face morphs and he looks like John. His face is bloody. I push him off. Thomas, John, and my father surround me all screaming. Then Thomas silences them.

"It's your fault." Thomas says.

I am violently shaken into consciousness. Jefferson looks down at me, very concerned.

"You were screaming 'it's not my fault!' And 'Thomas please stop him.'" Thomas says. I turn bright red as tears begin streaming down my face. "You wanna talk about it?"

"Well it started in the forest." I begin. Thomas winces at the mention of it. "John was there and you appeared. You called us fags and then it was us in a cell. You said I broke some promise and something that could smell blood was chasing us. Then we were in my childhood home and my father was beating me. I was begging you to make him stop but you said I was a liar and I broke promises and didn't deserve help.  Then I was back in the forest with John but he was all bloody. Then you and my father appeared and began screaming at me until you silenced them and said 'it's all your fault.'" I sob rocking back and forth. My knees are pulled to my chest. Thomas looks at me in shock. He pulls me into a tight hug and lets me sob into his chest. My wrists begin itching.