Don't Forget That I Love You (Jamilton)(Republished) (Unedited)

Six

Alex POV

I look up from where I'm sobbing on the couch. Thomas stands there with a tired look in his eyes. He weakly smiles. I glare back at him.

"Why is he here, Laf." I growl through tears. Lafayette pulls me to my feet. "I don't want to talk to him. I want him to be happy. And I can't do that." I yell and run into their extra bedroom. Since they were married they didn't use the second bedroom. I also know they have a stash of drugs in here. I find cocaine. Jackpot.

Thomas POV

I follow Alex into the room. When I enter Alex's eyes are glazed over. He's high as a kite.

"Hey you asshole." He says snorting another line

"Alexander." I warn.

"How's Maria? I bet you never even loved me." Alex says.

"Alexander!" I say harsher.

"You know what Jefferson, shut your mouth for five seconds. Other people have shit to say." Alex says. He begins rambling about how much he trusted me and how I broke his trust. How I broke him. "I don't love you. I never loved you! You were at my bed begging for my attention. When you got it you broke my heart!" He ends his speech. His words slice into my heart like glass. "I bet you were lying too. That's what people do to me. Weasel their way into my hear and then break it. Your so selfish! Your just like John Laurens you ASS!!!" Alex screams. I pick the small man up.

"Let me go you ass!" He screams and flails.

"I can't let you do that to yourself." I sigh.

"Put me down." He shrieks.

"I can't." I state.

"Fuck yourself!" He screams and fights my grasp. With a heavy sigh I carry him out of the room

"Is he okay?" Angie asks.

"High as a kite, but fine." I say. Flopping onto the couch I keep my grip tight. The intoxicated man struggles in my arms. A minute later he falls asleep. "I'm gonna take him home." I say.

After tucking him into his bed I chuckle and turn to walk away. I feel a hand around my wrist. I see Alex look at me with starry eyes.

"Stay. I'm so sorry. I don't think I can sleep alone right now." He whispers. I nod and lay down next to him. He hums YOUTH by Troye Sivan. I quietly sing along. I hear a voice from my room.

"Thomas? Baby is that you? Where have you been?" I hear Maria. I stand up to address the issue.

"Maria, my boyfriend is in the other room sleeping please be quiet." I sigh walking into the kitchen.

"Polyamory? I like it." She says.

"I don't. Look you need to leave. I'm trying to comfort him because you made him run off earlier and he was almost raped. I just need you to leave." I sigh. Tears brim her eyes.

"Are you sure there's nothing I and other to make you change your mind?" She asks wrapping her arms around my neck.

"Yes I'm sure. It's three AM Maria. Get out of my house." I sigh pushing her off.

"But Thomas-" she begins with a pout.

"Out. Now." I growl. The girl scurries out of my dorm and I return to my sleeping boyfriend. I let sleep embrace me.

"You didn't save him." A familiar voice screams. "Why didn't you save him?" To my right the ashes of a building appear. I know where I am. To my left I see my mother. "Your father died because of you, you fag!" She screams. The scene changes and she becomes Alexander. He's wearing a hospital gown.

"You didn't save me. Why didn't you save me? You promised you would fight for me! Liar!" He screams. "All you did was fight me!" He shrieks. The scene changes again and I'm in a field. A small boy runs around. He has curly hair, freckles, and olive green eyes. A ghostly figure appears. Alex.

"Daddy! Daddy! Pa wants to talk to you." He screams. The ghostly figure becomes opaque.

"Philip! Go play with Ang, okay?" Alex says. "Hey. How's James?" He asks.

"Good. How is Eliza?" I ask. He smiles at the mention of his wife.

"She's doing great." He says and the scene changes. He's standing in a park with Aaron. The two hold dueling pistols. I can hear Alex' thoughts.

"I wrote Eliza a note. I could've done it better. Maybe I'll get back to her before she opens her eyes. And I left Thomas a note too. An apology for the years apart. Were near the spot Philip died. He never hurt a soul, he must have been so scared. It's calming. It wouldn't be in Burr's better interest to kill me. The last thing I think of is Thomas. Before that my mind flits over Eliza. But Thomas is final. Maybe he will forgive me." He speaks his thoughts to me.

"One." A voice begins. The two men stare at each other. "Two."

"Wait no!" I scream.

"Five. Six."

"Stop it!" I wail.

"Nine. Ten paces, fire!" The voice finishes. Alex aims for the sky and Burr shoots. Alex clutches his side where the bullet entered his torso. I rush to him. His tired face and greying hair give him a wise look.

"Don't leave me! Please don't leave me." I cry.

"Do you forgive me?" He asks. I feel confused.

"Why would I ever be angry with you?" I ask softly. He smiles.

"I can die happy knowing you don't hate me. Goodbye." He says and the life drains from his eyes. I wail in despair.

I am shook awake.

"Thomas? You were screaming." Alex says. I hug him tightly.

"Your alive." I breathe.

"Yes, I have noticed that." He rolls his eyes.

"Alex just because dueling is legal in New Jersey does not mean you should ever duel." I sigh.

"I wasn't planning to?" He slowly says.