Broken

chapter seven

Two weeks later

In the weeks that followed that night, I felt as though I was watching my life flash by while I was watching from the sidelines. I avoided Ezra as much as humanly possible, making excuse after excuse to leave if we did talk. I made it impossible for him to remind me why we did what we did in the first place.

Keeping up the charade was easy, but all I wanted was the safety he offered me. We were an almost, that's all. As I sit at my desk in a class I used to love, I wonder whether it was worth it. I stare at the pages in front of me, my mind wandering elsewhere.

"Time's up. Close your books," Ezra says from the front of the class.

I keep mine open for another moment, desperate to find something that I could talk about.

"Okay." He claps his hands together, raising his eyebrows expectantly at me.

I let the pages of the book flutter closed while maintaining eye-contact.

"Aria. What are your thoughts on this quote?" He leans back against the desk and folds his arms.

I quickly scan over the words for the umpteenth time: "you never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...until you climb into his skin and walk around in it."

"It's indicative of Atticus's nature. He understands others, acknowledges you can't physically be someone else, but emphasising that if you look at things from their perspective, you'll gain a better understanding of their actions and why they do the things they do."

My answer was a weak attempt at a comparison of our own situation; it was obvious to him, but not to the rest of the class.

"Good," is all he says. "Anyone else?"

The commotion at the end of the class startles me in the middle of writing an essay, which Ezra announces is now homework due in on Monday. This, of course, is met with unappreciative groans and comments that he ignores.

"Aria can I see you for a moment, please?" He asks coolly as a few students pass in front of him.

"I have to get to gym class," I say, refusing to look at him.

"It'll only take a moment."

I hesitate. "Okay."

He waits until the last student closes the door before he starts. "Why are you shutting me out?"

"I'm not," I say, defensive.

"So why do I have to call on you in class just to get you to talk to me?"

I pause, contemplating how to answer him without hurting him. "It's just easier to forget my feelings if I shut you out. I'm sorry but it's better that way."

"For who, you? Because it's not better for me, Aria. God, it's killing me."

"You know why I'm doing this. If we didn't leave it as we did, I don't think we'd be standing here discussing it. Do you?" My voice raises in anger.

"I'm sorry for what happened. But I don't regret it. Can we..."

"What?"

"Can we go back to how it was before this happened? Please?" he bends his head slightly to get me to look at him.

"I'd like that." I smile. "Now, I really need to get to class so can you give me a late pass?"

"You actually have gym?"