The Reason

Chapter Thirteen

Those hard days, seem to be getting so much harder. Saying goodbye to Rex, is getting harder and harder and harder. Sunday, was one such day.

After spending the entire day together, relaxing in each other's company, when it was eventually time for me to leave Rex's house, it seemed to sting a little more than usual.

It stung because I am getting more and more used to having him around. I am getting used to him loving me and to me loving him.

So when he's not around, the emptiness I feel is getting more and more noticeable whenever he isn't. Usually, I hide my hurt really well. But on Sunday, my hurt betrayed me. It sat on my face so very obviously. Rex saw the sadness welling in my eyes, so he just held out his arms and said. "Come here." Holding me close against his rising chest as he lovingly offered me some more of his sweet comfort. My arms didn't hesitate wrapping themselves around him. They held on tight with love and relief tingling right through them as I breathed in his masculinity like it was the only thing that my lungs would ever need. "I love you." Rex said, as my face was lovingly still embedded within his strong chest. "I'll see you soon."

But soon has betrayed me, torturously betrayed me.

It's now Wednesday and soon hasn't come at all. Of course, Rex has texted me. And of course, he has called me. But now, I need to see him. I need to see him in the beautiful flesh. Every beautiful inch of him. I need to touch and hold him. To breathe in his scent. That's the only thing that will now calm me. You see, hearing his voice, only feeds the hollow ache growing inside of my body. It nourishes my emptiness and starves my heart. Today, I am actually fed up.

No matter how hard I try to shake it off, I just can't. I am so bloody fed up, I have thrown myself headlong into organising the new social history event that we are hosting. It's a new learning initiative by the museum, that shall hopefully give children from local schools an informative visual experience that will enhance their history education and will run alongside the National Curriculum. Personally, I think it's a great idea. It's narrowing the gap between the local community and the museum. It's enabling the locals to use the museum itself, as a fantastic learning tool...and it keeps my mind off Rex.

This slightly depressing Wednesday morning has fortunately flown by. I have been using all of my pent up frustrations in the most professional of ways, by completing the 'Then & Now Entertainment Gallery'. It's an interactive presentation of how children used to play and what they used to do it with. The items on display date from the 1900s to present day. From dolls to skittles, and Automata toys to Whip and Tops. Then moving through the times to board games and hand held consoles. I am absolutely thrilled with how it all looks. We have been collecting items for many months now. So to see it finally on full display, makes all the hard work very worthwhile. In fact, so worthwhile, I deserve a nice cup of tea. As I am hot-footing it towards the restaurant, I happen to glance across towards the main reception.

There, stands Rex. My Rex. He's chatting and laughing with Angela, completely at ease. Sexily at ease. I am momentarily glued to the carpeted floor. My heels silently stuck to the red tufted fabric. Absolutely and mesmerisingly stuck.

I just need a second for my heart to stop pounding and for the crazy little butterflies that wildly flutter around in my stomach to calm the hell down. I am telling the pounding and the fluttering inside of me to stop, but they won't. Rex looks wonderful, he really does. My elated eyes soak up the glorious sight of him. From his freshly washed hair, to his checked casual shirt, down to his twisted denim jeans and his dark brown Brogue boots. He's quite simply, perfect. All my perfect.

As I am standing there; admiringly gawping at him, he spots me from out of the corner of his happy eye. If a smile could light up the entire world, his would be the one to do it. Angela turns, knowing that I am the reason for his majestic smile. That's my prompt to actually start walking, instead of hopelessly gawping.