Hobbit and Lord of the Rings oneshots, Book 1

Would You Just Shut Up Already?! (No one in particular)

Sorry I haven't updated in so long!!!!! Here's something until I finish the special in my Sherlock book. The video above is of an adorable girl laughing so hard she snorts. 😂 it's cute

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You and your twin sister, Juniper Weedhaven, had decided to tag along on your best friend Bilbo's adventure. You, much like Bilbo, had always loved exciting adventures, even though he had grown fearful and reprehensive of them, and you had not. Thorin had been quite put off at the fact that two women were accompanying the dwarves on their journey. He however, was the only one. Every other dwarf, and of course Gandalf, who had consented to the wishes of you and Juniper, were elated to be around you two 24/7.

It was your first night in camp, and the two of you silly little geese had had a very tiring day. Exhausted and now full (thanks to Bilbo's wonderful cooking), you and Juniper stretched out on your rolled out bedrolls. Your sister laid by your mutual friend, Bilbo, but you had decided to lie near Bofur. He seemed sweet, caring, and maybe just a little crazy, kind of like you.

You and Bofur had been talking on and on and on all throughout the day, learning quite a lot about each other. Which of course, led to Juniper relentlessly teasing you about fancying him. Which of course you did.

But that's beside the point. The point is, you both were tired. And when you get tired, you get...giggly.

So there you and Juniper lay, amongst the war-hardened dwarves, fellow hobbit, and wizard, attempting to fall asleep.

But riiiiiiight as you were about to drift off to your dream world that may or may not have been inhabited by magical unicorn kittens, Juniper let out a little wheeze of laughter. At hearing this, you started giggling your adorable high-pitched laugh, your belly hurting already and your eyes smarting with tears.

Most of the dwarves were asleep already (luckily), so they didn't hear. However, Thorin was awake on watch, along with Balin. In the mild flickering light of the dwindling campfire, you could see Thorin glare at you as you tried to suppress your laughter.

"Sorry," you whispered, and fought to wipe your stupid smile off your face. Juniper calmed down quickly as well, but before either of you were able to fall back asleep, you remembered something she had said earlier that day.

"So you know how dwarves show engagement by braiding beads into their lady love's hair?"

You giggled at Juniper's out-of-the-blue statement, and felt a joke coming on. "Yes, dear sister," you replied calmly.

"Well you and I both know that hobbits should propose by giving each other food."

At the time, it hadn't even been that funny, but you were so so tired that right now it was the most hilarious thing you'd ever thought of. Your pretty face slowly broke into a grin, so big it nearly reached your ears. You struggled with all your might to hold back your laughter, knowing that Thorin would not be pleased if his majestic brooding was disturbed once more.

But alas, you could tell, even from across the campfire, that your sister was barely able to contain her giggles as well. You had sort of a sixth sense that you shared with your sister, one that allowed you to understand everything about her and tell when she was in trouble, or even what she was feeling or if she was in pain. Twinstincts, you both called it.

Feeling the tension from Juniper only made it harder for you not to laugh. Finally, she broke, and snorted loudly in the back of her sinuses, practically emptying her lungs of all oxygen. In turn, you bursted out quite loudly in rapid giggles, causing most of the sleeping dwarves around you to jump awake in a startled confusion.

But you no longer cared. Not about how improper Bilbo thought it was, not about Thorin's majestic glare, not even about Bofur's beauty sleep. You and Juniper howled in gleeful laughter, tears streaming down your cheeks.

You both sat up to face each other, the perfect timing only causing you two to laugh all the more.

Every dwarf around you looked confused, except Thorin and Dwalin, who looked extremely fed up with the both of you, and Balin, who simply smiled at the sight of the two young girls in so good a mood.

Your belly began to ache and your cheeks were sore with your grin. You payed no heed to the streams of tears flowing down your face, and occasionally rocked back and forth and hit the ground weakly, trying to get yourself under control. Juniper simply would go between pointing at you, who was currently off the rails, and throwing her head back in loud howling chortles. When she finally fell backwards, you exploded into more hysterical laughter, your mouth open in a huge smile. Out of nowhere, your sinuses failed you, and as you sucked in a breath, you also produced a loud pig-like snort. You covered your mouth with your hand and laughed even harder, along with Juniper.

"Y-you-you s-s-snorte-ed!!" she wailed with glee.

Your laughter sounded ridiculous, going between sounding like a hyena or a pig. Your cheeks were red, as were Juniper's, and you were shaking with exhaustion.

As the two of you finally began to calm down and drift asleep..sitting up, Thorin looked at Gandalf, who had been awake to watch the whole hilarious episode.

"Why did you have to bring them along, Gandalf?"