that thing called cancer · phan

six

/a/n actually did research for this part wow/

on the day of chemotherapy, dan woke up early in the arms of phil lester, to his mum knocking on the door, "danny? we're leaving in an hour, get up, honey."

"okay, mum," dan had called, waking up phil in the process.

"huh?" phil groaned, rolling over, "what time is it?"

"i think it's eight, or around eight-thirty or something," dan said, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

"why are we up so early..?" phil asked, still laying down, covering his face with the duvet.

"chemo," dan muttered, getting out of bed and looking himself in the mirror. today he looked paler than usual, probably because of his nerves, "you're still coming with right?"

"oh yeah, i forgot," phil said, uncovering his face, "and yeah, i'm still coming."

"good," dan said, "i'm so nervous."

"you look nervous, or from what i can see, you're kind of blurry," phil said, picking up his glasses from the bedside table and putting them on, "oh yeah, you definitely look nervous."

"is it that obvious?" dan asked, walking over to the bed and sitting next to phil.

phil, despite him laying down, wrapped an arm around dan's waist, "well, i don't blame you. i'd be nervous, too. hell, i am nervous."

"fuck, phil," dan whispered.

"it'll be alright, danny," phil said, "you'll do great."

"i can't even believe this is real," dan said, "i just want to wake up from this terrible nightmare. why does it have to be me?"

"dan, it'll be okay," phil reassured again, "just try not to worry about it too much. we'll get through this."

"i know," dan sighed, "i'm sorry."

"don't apologize," phil said, "you have every right to feel the way you do."

"okay," dan said.

"okay?" phil said.

dan laughed, "are you serious?"

"maybe," phil said, "but we need an 'always.'"

"yeah, we do," dan said, "we'll have to figure it out later."

"noooo," phil said, "let's figure it out now."

"later," dan said.

"later?"

dan laughed again, "later."

"perhaps 'later' will be our 'always', daniel james," phil said.

"stop it, you egg," dan said.

"i love you."

"i love you more."

-----

they got ready and when they got to the hospital, it only took a few minutes for a nurse to call dan's name in to the waiting room.

he walked in with his mum and phil and they did their normal check-up things, checking his weight and height and blood pressure.

they were soon taken to a normal hospital room and dan sat on the chair next to the heart monitor. he was scared.

soon enough, a doctor and a nurse walked into the room. the doctor that diagnosed him, to be specific.

"hi, dan, good to see you again," he said, looking up from his clipboard with a smile, "how have you been?"