Forgive and forget l.h ≪book 2≫

Chapter 35

hey losers. well, i should say that since i haven't updated since christmas. sorry sorry sorry. i have been out of mind mind and stuck in one place and dragged across concrete that's made out of school topics that i don't fucking understand but i'm here for you guys once again. i hope y'all don't hate me as much as i would hate me but what's gooooddd! so i'm probably gonna try to update every weekend (we can only hope) but i hope you guys are doing okay and are happy and everything at school at home are okay cause i can't say the same for myself. but anyways, ima fill you in with what happened in the past few months. i saw twenty one pilots (internal crying), ive had multiple breakdown and points where i was in areal shitty mood, i threw up at a friends house, i may be losing my best friend, and im having a midlife crisis because i know im not making it past 30 with the way my life is going. anyways, ima write you a chapter and its gonna be shitty cause i suck at everything. (im also writing on my computer cause my phone is fucked and idk how) also follow my tumblr and read wy shit that i wrote cause im a loser but yeah follow me: zsxdscgvhjnhuygr  << Yeah that's it. that's my tumblr so have fun

Violet's POV

I woke up in the middle of the night, and I sat up in the bed where Luke was snoring lightly and was tangled in the sheets. I wipe the sweat beads off my face with my hands, and I swipe a strand of hair behind my ear before I unwrap my legs from Luke to get up.

I stepped lightly on the wooden stairs so I wouldn't make them creak, but of course I was unsuccessful. I scrunched my eyes close every time I heard the sound, but I made it down the stairs without having to deal with anyone waking up and whisper yelling at me to shut the fuck up and to keep it down.

I walked into the kitchen that was dimly lit with a tiny light fixture, and I swung the door open to the fridge because I felt like my tongue was drier than sand. I found a half-drunken bottle of water, and I took a few sips before someone's voice made me jump.

"How rude of you not to ask me for a sip."

I turn around to face a half-awake Michael that currently has half a pizza slice in his grasp.

"Michael, Jesus Christ."

"Thank you for calling me by my actual name. Michael was getting old," Mikey said as he walked across the kitchen and took a few more bites off his cold pizza slice. He leaned against the marble counter tops, and chuckled.

"Why are you awake?" I questioned, and he lifted his pizza in the air.

"For this. But I should really be asking you that question. Now, why are you awake?"

"I woke up naturally. Don't blame me for my body functions," I said, and Michael smirked as he finished the crust of the pizza.

"You barely sleep. Just go back to bed," He said with his mouth full, and he grabbed the water bottle from my hand and chugged it down.

"It's not that easy, Michael."

"Well of course it is. You close your eyes and breathe. Easy," He said as he grabs another pizza slice from the greasy pizza box.

"God, Michael. You don't understand insomnia, do you? You can't sleep no matter what. You're distracted by something at all times no matter what it is. It's rare for me to sleep, you know that," I explained to Michael, and he nodded.

"You act like I've slept everyday of my life, but let's skip that topic. What were you thinking about?" He asked with a hint of concern in his voice.

"Just everything lately. You guys are going back on tour soon and it sucks thinking about it all the time. Everything was fucked up when I was with you guys so I'm thinking about staying behind for the next few months," I say as Michael whined.

"No! You didn't mess anything up. You can't help a mental disorder, V. And plus, Luke would go fucking crazy without you and you would do the same. You're coming with us," He demanded, but I shook my head. I'm not making their tour even more stressful.

"No. I'm not going," I said, and then we heard a knock on the wood of the kitchen doorway.

"Not going where?" Luke asked in a raspy voice. He rubbed his as he walked in, and wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

"She says she's not  coming on the rest of tour with us," Michael ratted me out, and Luke turned his gaze towards me.

"Why don't you want to go?" He asked, and you could hear the hurt in his voice.

I sigh, and I look at my feet on the tiles of the kitchen floor.

"Because I caused so much stress on the first part of your tour. I don't want you to worry about me when you're playing a show or in the middle of sound check. You guys are supposed to enjoy touring the world. Not worried about me going through another relapse," I said, and Luke shook his head.

"I should be more worried about you than anything else. You're my main priority," He said he cupped my face in his hands.

"Luke, I'll just stay with your mom for about 2 months, and then I'll join you guys. She'll take great care of me for you. You wouldn't need to worry."

"You're going with us. It wouldn't be the same if you weren't with us. We love seeing you sing along from the side of the stage," Michael said with a smile, and Luke nodded.

"I'll go for 2 months. That's it. You guys need to have fun without me. That's what this tour is all about," I said, and Luke looked upset, but he agreed to the deal. Michael wasn't a fan of the idea, but he agreed since Luke did.

"We'll talk more about it tomorrow," Luke said, and he put me on his back and we went back to bed where I didn't seep. I was too caught up in my thoughts about going back on tour. I'm afraid that even worse is going to happen this time around. I don't want anything to wrong because this tour means more than anything to them. The deserve every little ounce of fun on this tour and I don't want to be he one to ruin it for them.