The Definition of Time

Bonus Scene 1: Josh's Perspective || First Impressions

 "Dad, what are you doing here?" I ask in between gritted teeth.

Mom, Ellie, and I drove to school all the way from Ohio today, and I've barely arrived within the scheduled sign-in time. Mom agreed not to tell Dad about the freshman wilderness program because we both knew he'd disapprove. He always does. Now I feel guilty for making Mom lie to him for me. A few minutes ago, he pulled up in a rental car just in time to stop me.

"You didn't think I'd find out you were wasting time and money to go camping?" he asked with a nasty sneer, one hand on his hip.
"How did you find out?" Mom whispers, and my heart burns at the fear in her voice.

I shouldn't have told her. I already feel guilty for leaving her and Ellie behind.

"Donna, you left the brochure in the stack of books by your bedside. Did you really think you could keep this a secret from me?" he leers at her, and she backs up.

I suppress the instinct to punch Dad in the face for the way he always bullies Mom, but now isn't the time to pick a fight. I'm almost free. A few more minutes, and I'll walk into the college's gym and leave them all behind.

"Dad, it was only a few hundred dollars," I argue. "This is what I want to do with my life. It's going to help with the rest of my career."

While my words are partially true, I also signed up for the program because I wanted to get out. I needed to escape Dad. Leaving a few extra weeks before the start of the semester sounded perfect, and now every minute without freedom is excruciating.

"Well, it's not like I can stop you now, just like I can't stop you from throwing your life away," Dad growls.

I still wince at his words every time. I keep on thinking that I'm strong enough that he can't hurt me any more, but my self-esteem shatters every time he speaks. I need this. I need a new start, the chance to be my own person outside of my dad's shadow.

"I'm leaving," I growl at Dad, casting him a final glare before turning to say goodbye to Mom and Ellie.

Mom pulls me into a hug and I whisper an apology in her ear.

"Josh, don't be sorry. You deserve this. Go make me proud."

I fight the wave of guilt in my chest as I turn to say goodbye to the one and only person I'll miss. Ellie. The worst part about leaving for college is that I'm leaving my little sister behind. Without me, there's no one to watch out for her. Mom tries, but Dad keeps her on a tight leash so there's not much she can do. I reach for my sister and pull her tight to my chest, hand tangled in her blonde hair.

"Joshy, please don't go," she whispers in my ear.

I know that I could leave this all behind, get back in the car, and go home. I could take care of her, but I have to go to college. I have to get away from Dad, get a college degree, strike out on my own. What kind of brother would I be if I didn't set an example for her? If I couldn't some day offer her a life away from Dad?

"I'm sorry, Little Elle. You'll be okay. I gotta go. I love you."

"I love you too," she whispers, and I let go of her and steel my features so Dad won't see my sorrow.

I shoulder my backpack lightly and turn away without making eye contact with him. As I walk away from my family, I know I'm supposed to feel free, but freedom tastes a lot like running away.

I go inside the gymnasium, sign in with four minutes remaining, and head towards my team. The sound of my sneakers squeaking on the gym floor and the chatter around me seem miles away. A guy and a girl stand in bright red t-shirts with a crowd of other freshmen around them. I scan the faces: two guys, two girls, and the two leaders. I stride over to them and set my backpack down on the floor. This is your second chance at life. Make it count.

"Hey, y'all," I say in greeting, offering a friendly smile. My voice sounds far more enthusiastic than I feel.

The guy leader shakes my hand overenthusiastically. "You must be Josh! Now the gang's all here."

I laugh a little and let my eyes wander over the people gathered. The male leader is as excited and hyperactive as he seemed when he greeted me; the female leader, on the other hand, just offers me a smile. The look in her eyes reminds me of my mom: quiet strength. Two guys stand opposite the circle to me. They're both about my height and athletic. Of the two girls beside me, one is short and curvy, and she offers me a plucky smile that I return.

The girl directly to my left looks so terrified she could pee herself. I almost laugh when I see the petrified look in her eyes as she glances up at me. Her eyes, round and chocolate-colored, make me think of a deer in the headlights. I offer her a smile that's meant to be comforting, but she only balks and looks away, squaring her shoulders and wrinkling her freckled nose. She's cute with untamed dark curls, a smattering of freckles across pale skin, and a round face.

What sticks with me through the rest of the day is the look in her eyes: terrified but defiant. That look reminds me so much of Ellie, and just like Ellie, my first impulse is to look out for the terrified, brown-eyed girl beside me.   

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Surprise! :) I have a few more of these bonus scenes from Josh's perspective and I will be posting them every time "The Definition of Time" gains 500 reads, so be sure to recommend this to your friends to hear more from Josh!