Reverie

Be Mine - 3

(JACK'S POV)

I almost consider calling in sick. I'm getting really fidgety thinking about what happened during the date. Last night when I texted Lucy asking her how it went, she replied saying she'll tell me all about it tomorrow. Not the "Oh my god I never want to see his face again. He's such a jerk." that I was expecting. Nevertheless I get ready and head to catch the bus.

At work everyone seems to be going about their day as if nothing huge is about to happen. Obviously. They're not the ones awaiting a reply from the love of their life informing you if you still have a chance. I get a coffee and head to my desk. There's a crapload of work to be done, so I make myself focus on that and forget about Lucy for a little while.

At lunch time, I head to the cafeteria and as I'm half-way through my lunch Lucy appears looking like a Greek Goddess.

"Hey. Sorry, there was a lot of work." She says as she sits down.

"S'okay. So, anything new?" I really need to take a social skills class.

She looks at me and says sarcastically, "Oh there's nothing new. Nothing happened yesterday in particular."

"Nothing happened at Raintree?" I prod, smiling.

"Hmm, I don't think so. I also did not meet anyone."

"Okay Luce. Enough. I'm dying with curiosity. Tell me. What happened?" I give up.

"Ha, thought we could go on for a little while longer. Well, as you know. Yesterday I met an old childhood friend, who my parents think is a suitable partner for me. And......"

"And??"

"I haven't inferred anything." She says huffing.

"What was he like? Bossy? Arrogant?" I ask.

"What? No!" She looks genuinely surprised. "Well okay, even I thought he would be a bit of a snob, given his life. But no, he was actually very sweet and humble. It was nice hanging out with him, but just a few hours is not enough to judge a person, is it?"

"No of course not! I don't think your parents too are expecting that. You could.....meet him again maybe, sometime and......become good friends or something." I finish lamely. I do not know what to tell her. I should be telling her how I feel, but.......

"Yeah, my parents didn't ask me anything either. It's just that, I don't want him to think that I'm interested if I agree on a second date."

"So....you're not even remotely interested?" I ask, my heart soaring.

She looks at me with widened eyes. She seems lost for words.

"No....it's not like that. I'll just have to meet him again to decide. I'll tell him I need some more time with him. Yes. I'll ask him when he'll be able to meet next." She says with an air of finality. I can't be letting this happen. I have loved her for...........God no. Jack stop it. There is no use in telling yourself how much you love her. She needs to hear that. And it's very obvious that she's not going to. You are a wimp and you don't deserve someone like her. You don't even have the courage to tell her how you feel about her even when she's talking about going out with another guy. You are a wimp. A WIMP!

I don't usually hear voices in my head, but this one was quite convincing. And maybe it was my own sub-conscious or some godly being, but whatever it was, it was right. I have no right to feel jealous of Jonathan when I don't even stand on the same footing. I haven't made a single move or approach and all I do is whine about how the love of my life doesn't know that she is the love of my life. Either I tell her or stop whining. And I guess.......I'm just gonna stop whining.