The Starling Saviour

Chapter 70

'Business is booming,' Tommy grinned at me as we were going through some paperwork in the club office. 'And we're not doing that badly, either, according to the numbers.'

However, my mind was on a totally different plane to what was going on in the present. I hadn't been able to stop thinking about my past since Cyrus Vanch's trial, and especially after mine and Oliver's... Moment, almost like the switch on my memories had broken. I kept getting sudden flashbacks to the island, to Ivo's testing, to the fake Mirakuru surging through my veins and making me want to kill anybody and anything, but I had also been frequently thinking of my life before I had boarded the Gambit; how Malcolm had taken me from my country and given me no choice in the years that succeeded that one event.

I had touched so many lives in both Central and Starling City, causing people more pain than happiness in that. Many had suffered in my name, believing the best in me, but really, I had just poisoned their lives and then left some of them without a trace. My co-manager and ex-boyfriend who I was currently conversing with was one of them, well, he was the reason I was in Starling City in the first place, as his father had been so adamant on me protecting and watching over him. Nothing was forcibly holding me there anymore - I could've simply just walked out of the club, out of the city and flown back to my own country - but, ironically, Starling City had become my home. I never would've thought that to be the case five years back, but now, I had people, many people, I cared about in that city.

'Aria?' Tommy said to get my attention, and that he did. 'Are you okay? You look totally out of it.'

'Sorry, I just got a bit... Distracted,' I tried to cover up my emotions like I always did. 'But, I am fine.'

'Are you sure?' Tommy contradicted me. 'You don't look fine to me, you look... Shaken.'

This was the type of behaviour that made me teary, Tommy's seemingly innocent concern causing me great sadness. It wasn't a negative sadness, but a sadness that always got to me when people cared about me. I guess it upset me that people would waste their time on me, yet another thing that showed how unstable and warped I really was.

Once you're broken, you can never be fixed.

'You clearly are not okay,' Tommy pressed on the matter, leaning towards me, getting closer and closer to me when I wished he would go the opposite way. 'Do you want to... Talk about it?'

'I'm not really sure what I want to do,' I told him truthfully but I still building a wall between us.

'I can just listen,' Tommy offered calmly. 'You know I'm an open guy, I'm not like a judge and jury.'

'Well, the judge and jury are what started all this again,' I rolled my eyes, confusing Tommy slightly. 'That dreadful trial nearly a month ago, it made me... Re-experience things, things I'd buried long ago. I thought I was over the island, I thought I was strong, but it looks like I was wrong.'

'I think you still need to talk to a professional,' Tommy advised at once. 'Wasn't your attorney referring you to someone, a therapist?'

'Adrian was the therapist,' I explained briefly. 'He's not just an attorney, he's a therapist too. And I talked to him for a few sessions, but I stopped them because I thought I was fine. Clearly, I was wrong.'

'Maybe you should give him another chance,' Tommy smiled softly. 'When was he supposed to have his next appointment with you?'