Love Me at a Distance

"Babe, who's at the door?"

Camila wasn't in a good place. She hadn't been since she'd broken up with Lauren. She couldn't sleep. She could barely eat and she hadn't been hanging out with Dinah as much as she used to. She tried calling Lauren to apologize and to talk to her but... all she got was the student's voicemail. She was pretty positive that Lauren didn't even listen to them.

They hadn't talked since the breakup six months ago. She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. Her heart was beating rapidly and she was starting to think that she made a pretty big mistake flying out to Texas. She gripped her rental cars steering wheel and took a deep breath to try to calm herself down. She just stared at her ex girlfriend's home. She bought a ticket a few days ago because she had to talk to her. She was tired of feeling like she was lost. She hoped that Lauren would at least forgive her and talk to her. She gave herself a mental pep talk and got out of the car. She walked up the walkway and knocked on the door, hoping Lauren would answer.

Lauren, on the other hand, had been getting by. She definitely wasn't happy, but she had finally stopped crying over Camila every night. She did listen to the voicemails that Camila left her. There were a lot at the beginning, but they slowly died down as the months went on. Lauren wasn't completely ready to talk to Camila again. She had been in contact with Dinah every so often to ask her how Camila was doing, and she didn't like what she was hearing. She knew that Dinah wasn't telling her the whole story, but it couldn't have been good.

The younger woman was relaxing on her couch with her girlfriend. She met her at the hospital, she was one of the nurses. Lauren was cuddling with Lucy when she heard a knock on the door. She furrowed her brows because wasn't expecting anyone. She kissed her girlfriend before standing up and heading to the door. She opened it and was in complete shock. It was Camila. "Umm. Hi. What are you doing here?"

Camila looked at Lauren when the door opened and smiled softly. She still looked beautiful. her hair was cut a little shorter and she just looked beautiful. Camila knew she looked worse. She'd lost a little bit of weight and had bags under her eyes. "I um... Can we talk?" She sighed. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry, Laur. You deserved better than that..." She could feel her heart starting to race. "I..." She smiled softly, "You look good, Lauren."

Lauren looked Camila up and down. She was still in shock that the woman, her ex-girlfriend, was in front of her. "Um. Well thanks, I guess." She just shook her head, "It's too little too late...and why did you fly all the way out here to tell me that?" Lauren asked.

"You didn't want to make it work when we were together, so why now?" She was curious. "Um. Thanks. You look...good, too." Lauren said. Camila looked like hell, but it wasn't her place to say anything anymore.

Camila let out a heavy breath. Lauren had every right to be upset. Hell, she'd be upset too if she was in Lauren's position. "I'm sorry, Lauren. i was an idiot. I've... I've missed you. I let you walk out and that was the biggest mistake I've ever made..." She looked into Lauren's eyes with her own teary ones. "I knew that you wouldn't answer my phone calls. You haven't for months... I..." She shoved her hands into her pockets. "I just wanted to see you."

The student shook her head. She couldn't believe that Camila was here...had it been a few months earlier, Lauren probably would have jumped right back in her arms, but she couldn't. "I...you made your choice, Camila." It broke her heart even more to say that, because she still wasn't over Camila. Lauren heard footsteps coming up behind her and then she heard her girlfriend's voice.

"Babe, who's at the door?" She felt her girlfriend's arms snake around her waist.

"Um. Lucy, this is Camila." Lauren motioned to the woman, her girlfriend would know exactly who Camila was to her, so she didn't say anything. "Uh. Camila, this is...um, my girlfriend, Lucy." Lauren knew that this wasn't going to be good...it could go one of two ways with Camila.

Camila frowned. "I..." When she heard the sultry voice from inside the house and saw the woman wrap her arms around her ex, she felt her heart drop. She swallowed thickly. Lauren introduced them and she just nodded.

"Hi," she waved sadly, "Nice to meet you, Lucy. I was just leaving. I... Um. This is for you," she reached into her pocket and pulled out a folded paper. She grabbed her keys and cleared her throat. "I guess I'll see you around." She walked down the steps and towards her car. She crawled into the drivers seat and pulled out of the street. She was too late.

Lauren could tell that Camila was sad. She knew the woman so well. She took the note from Camila's hand and just held it in her own. Before she could say anything Camila walked away. She watched as the woman got into her car and left. She felt her already broke heart breaking into a million more pieces. She just stood there and looked at the note. She looked up at her girlfriend. "Luce, I'm sorry. I just...can I be alone right now?" Lauren asked.

"Yeah. I'll call you later." She watched as her girlfriend got her shoes on and left

Lauren closed the door and went to sit down on her couch. She read the letter than Camila had given her...she was torn.

My Dearest Lauren,

I've made the worst mistake of my life.

Letting you walk out that door was easily the worst decision I've ever made. I took my happiness and yours and just threw it away. I know you didn't understand why I had to end it, and to be honest, sometimes I don't even understand it myself.

All I knew is that my heart was breaking. The idea of you leaving me to live across the country scared the ever-living shit out of me. What I didn't realize at the time was the fact that not being with you and having you in my life scared me even more.

No words can express how sorry I am and how stupid I feel everyday. I lost the best thing that had ever happened to me. I've been miserable without you.

I miss everything about you. Your smile. Your laugh. The way that reading your name on my phone sent my heart into a fit of love. You are everything to me and I never in my life will know a love like yours again.

I know that you have been talking to Dinah and checking in on me. Knowing that information showed me that no matter how badly I hurt you, you still care.

I know that you probably won't ever forgive me for breaking your heart, but if you can find it within yourself to move forward and at least be my friend again, I would be forever grateful. I miss you being in my life more than words can express.

I really want you to be mine again, but I know that is asking too much, especially since we've been separated for a while. I will do whatever it takes to get you back, and I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you and trying to make you mine again.

If there is any chance that you are still interested, even if it is just being my friend, my flight leaves in the morning. If you never want to hear from me again, I understand and I don't blame you.

The only thing I ask is that you remember this: I love you, and I have never stopped.

Yours forever,

Camila

Lauren could tell how hurt Camila was and how sorry she was. Lauren had to do something. She picked up the phone and called Dinah. She talked to the woman and got the address of where Camila was staying before she slipped on her sandals and got in the car, driving toward the hotel.

AN: Sooooo, what's gonna happen at the hotel?

Hope you all enjoyed! -Amanda