Big Boys Cry

Chapter Two

"Mum told me you aren't coming for auntie Chineyere's burial?"

"Good morning to you too sis." Rah responded wrapping his arms around his big sister. Though she was three years older than he was, he was still several inches taller than her and sometimes he would tease her about how each child she had made her even shorter. But for a mother of two she was in perfect shape.

"Good morning Rah."

"So what brings you here this early morning?" Rah said leading her to kitchen where he was just moments ago preparing his breakfast. "Want something to eat? I am making corned beef sauce and you can have it with bread and a hot cup of coffee."

"Thanks chef Rah but I am stuffed. I ate while I was feeding the kids."

"Alright then." He said turning off the gas and then taking a sit beside her by this counter. "What really brings you here sis? I know you have better things to do at home on a Saturday morning."

"Mum wanted me to beg you to please come for auntie Chinyere's burial Rah."

"I already told Kate to tell her I have an engagement in Abuja that day and it's my company so I cannot miss it."

"I know Rah."

"Exactly! So convince her for me."

"No Rah, I know." Chioma placed her hand gently over Rah's and looked directly into his eyes. "I know."

Rah pulled his hand from underneath hers and stood up from where he sat. "How? How do you know?"

"When we were growing up I never really knew why sometimes I would wake up at night and not see you there. I just assumed you were probably sneaking off to the living room to watch a little TV but then one night I saw her come into the room and take you away and for several nights after that I observed it but I wasn't sure and I didn't know what to do." She stood up to walk towards him but he moved farther away from her avoiding any eye contact with her. "One day I told mum that I had been seeing Aunty Chinyere stealing money from her room and not long after that mum asked her to leave. Rah I couldn't confirm my suspicions until yesterday when mum said you weren't coming, that was when I knew my suspicions were right. I am sorry I couldn't help you then."

"So you knew and you still came to ask me to go to her burial?"

"I don't want to hurt you, I just want you to begin to heal."

"Heal? Heal? I was eight Chi and I didn't know what she was doing to me. I would just lie there why she screamed in pleasure and I didn't know what to do or who to tell. I was molested Chioma for four year! It isn't something you sleep and wake up from. You can't just say heal and I will heal."

"I can't understand how you feel, I didn't experience it but I want to help you."

She came towards him and place her hands on his arms and he all but threw her against the floor. "Chukwurah?"

"Please leave my house, just go!"

"Please just talk to me. Let me help you! I may not have been able to help you back then but I can help now if you just talk to me."

Rah turned away from her, placed his hands on the opposite counter and they balled up in a fist. His heart began to beat faster than ever before and he could hear it right in his head. He could feel sweat pouring out of his pours and suddenly he began to feel weak, his stomach began to cringe and he suddenly wasn't able to get enough air into his system. The next thing he knew he was lying against the hard floor struggling to catch his breath, the only thing he could hear was his own heart pounding against his chest.