Big Boys Cry

Chapter Twelve

"Mum?"

"Such a receptive way to greet your mum you haven't seen in a few weeks."

"Sorry mum, how are you?" Rah greeted his mum and took her bags from her hand. "Come right in."

"I can see nothing has changed over here since I last came by." She looked around his house like it was filth and Rah couldn't help the frown that lined his lips.

"Haven't had time for decorations mum, work has been hectic."

"I can tell, that's why you had to miss your auntie's burial right? Because work is hectic." She took a sit on the single sofa close to the television and folded her arms across her chest.

"Is there anything I can get you mum? A drink or something?"

"I don't want anything from you Chukwurah, all I need is an answer. Tell me why you couldn't make it to your auntie's burial and don't tell me work because I won't take it from you. I found out you cancelled your trip to Abuja that Saturday so why didn't you come." Her face was now less of anger but more of a plea to her only son. "How could I have explained it back home that my only son the one who will carry on his father's name could not come, do you know you embarrassed me Chukwurah? Do you know?"

"I am sorry mum, there were just so many things...."

"Like what Chukwurah? Like what? Give me an answer my son please give me an answer that will console me. Your auntie was there for us when your father passed away, she helped us through tough times and if not for her it would have been hard to take care of you and your sister. Even though she had her bad side she loved you Chukwurah, you more than anyone. She would always wash your clothes and make sure you were fine she loved you and you couldn't come and say your final good bye to her."

His hands squeezed the side of the sofa he sat on and he could feel holes burrowing underneath his fingers. He feared to speak for he could not trust the words that word come out of his mouth and the last thing he wanted to do was disrespect his mother.

"I am waiting for any answer Chukwurah!"

He tore away from the sit and began to pace angrily around the room. "Mum please just let this go, please. I am sorry I couldn't come and if our people are somehow angry I can send them money or something to appease them please mum just let this go."

"Money? Money? Is this how I raised you to see money as the only solution to problems? I taught you better than that!" she got up from her seat and walked towards him but stopped a few feet away. "I cannot recognize you anymore, I thank God you sister isn't like you if not I would be dead by now."

"Chioma didn't go through what I went through mum!" he turned around to face her and he could feel a panic attack coming on. "You think I am different? it's because I am, auntie Chinyere did this to me, she ruined me mum! Your saint ruined me!"

"I don't understand what you are saying, talk to me. I know she stole, Chioma already told me so what exactly is it?"

His heart was racing and he could feel his stomach start to cringe. It was becoming increasing difficult to breathe and all he wanted was to run away and leave this place but his mum was not letting him go.

"Mum please let me go!"

"You won't go until you talk to me, just say it, what did she do?"

"She hurt me mum, she hurt me." He slid down the wall till he was on the floor and pulled his knees to his chest. He tried to speak all the while trying to keep his breathing in check. "Every night....she would come to my room and take me away to hers." He looked up at his mum, his eyes pleading with her to understand so he wouldn't have to say any more. "She hurt me mum, every night for four years."