Double Or Nothing (Sequel To Double Standards Part 2)

Party Like A Rockstar

Laney

Oh my, my! Let me tell you, I couldn't have picked a more spectacular place to live than the Dominican Republic. The beaches are gorgeous and the people lovely. Not only that, it's been so long since I've had this type of freedom I'm a bit overwhelmed.

Yet, because of my circumstances I stay low key. When I hit the beach I sport a big floppy hat to hide my blonde hair, because let's be honest, when your playing in the waves wigs just can't hang. Yes big floppy hats are my new obsession, that and huge sunglasses that cover most my face. Even with my dark tan, contacts, and dark wig, my face still resembles me.

The only horrible aspect of living here is missing my kids. I miss them to no end. I text them at least twice a week just to let them know I love and miss them. It's very hectic though because each time I have to purchase a cheap prepaid phone so the keeper doesn't trace me. And yesss, I even miss him. Not this new control freak him, but my old London. Every time I see a loving couple a pang stabs my heart for what we use to have. Not to mention going without sex this long of a period. Yea, I could hook up with some guy, but technically I'm still a married woman. Plus I don't think I could lay with another man besides my London. I've never been the one for casual sex. I handle my needs on my own.

Some times I laugh at myself daydreaming about walking into the apartment back home and be like "hey London, could you knock me off a bit then I'll be on my way again". But man could London fuck. It was almost worth the try. I so miss him. If only things could be different. Now he probably despises me more than when I left.  I just wish I knew why his love ended for me. What did I do? Was he no longer attracted to me? Did he just grow tired of me?

I wrestle these questions everyday of my life now. Rethink and try to recall if I said or did something. Other than missing everyone and my run away thoughts, I am at peace. I do things I was kept from doing for so long. It's not easy being married to the mafia king. Always looking over your shoulder, being super cautious.

Here, I was just Eliza, island girl. The few people I've befriended think I'm just a normal real estate worker making ends meet. Here I'm not Laney Harper the queen, or married to London Harper the king. I'm just me. The me I  was before london. Carefree, fun, party girl. There's nothing like sitting on the beach in my big floppy hat, drinking my margarita, wasting my day away. I attend a few parties a week, shop and sight see like a tourist and enjoy life.

Yes, I still run my company, but everything I do I place under Eliza's name. It looks like it's one of my workers do look can't detect anything or catch on. There will come a time that I'll have to travel and attend meetings as Laney though. I'll deal with that when the time comes. As for now I feel like a kid on spring break.

I send gifts to my babies often. I always make sure all tags are removed so I  can't be traced and I go out of town to mail them off. I miss them so much sometimes I think of returning and living as London's captive just so I can be near them. I hope one day they can understand and I wonder if London told them why I left. If he has I pray Dem doesn't go ape shit on him.

Demarco has always been protective of me and I could only imagine his reaction if he knew the truth. And poor Miri. She loves her Pape and I would hate anything to ruin there relationship.

Right now I'm working on my next move. I hired a top notch lawyer from California to file for a divorce. Not that I want one, but I can't live in a marriage where I'm not loved. I just hope London will agree. I'm not asking for anything from him. No money, cars, home. Nothing. If he agrees I will be free to go back to the state's and be with my kids.

Gosh I just wished things didn't end this way. I literally hurt in my bones over missing London. I still cry every night when I crawl into bed and he's not there to hold me. He's my one and they'll never be another.